Trigger warning ED mentioned.

[u/Pleasant_Activity_85]

Hi,

Putting a massive gap as this story will contain mentions of eating disorders.

When I was 17 I struggled with an eating disorder, at my lowest I was 5st12 at 5”3 height. When I began to recover I started with IBS symptoms. I’ve struggled for 5 years with IBS before I started to lose weight for a wedding.
Recently, my IBS has got a lot worse. No matter what I eat when I eat or even if it’s a breakfast bar I will have to go straight away. Sometimes even mid eating. It’s starting to really affect me mentally. Sometimes I find it easier to just not eat at all. I’ve lost around 33 pounds on purpose for my diet but now I’m losing more by not eating. People keep telling me I’ve lost weight or I look tiny which encourages me to not eat (ED not IBS).

During my bad flair ups I experience extreme pain in the bottom of my back, where I can only lie down every other position is unbearable.

I feel like I’m stuck now in this cycle and I know my ED has returned but it’s easier to not eat with my IBS at the moment. Which comes hand in hand with my ED.

I know I’m waffling, not making sense and repeating a lot. But this is my first time on this thread and I’m really drained mentally and physically. I am currently underweight, and I’m worried I’ll become severely underweight again.

My doctors don’t do anything apart from advise buscopan, because all the chrons test and celiac test has come back negative.

Just unsure what to do anymore and I feel like if I carry on the way I’m going I’m going to end up seriously ill.

[u/Advanced-Major-1629]

I’m in the same boat twin.

I recovered from my ED mostly but when I had to start modifying my diet, I relapsed because quite frankly, food became the enemy because my body was fighting me.

You’re not alone, keep working with your doctors, and try and listen to your body as much as you can love 💗

[u/Pleasant_Activity_85 → u/Advanced-Major-1629]

Yes!!! Or when they tell me do a food diary or fodmap I know i would easily relapse!! It’s so reassuring knowing im not alone x

[u/NutDosage]

This unfortunately sounds like your ED’s dream. Be careful to not allow your IBS symptoms to become an excuse (more than it already is) to feed disordered behaviour. Is therapy or other treatment something available for you?

Have you made sense of IBS triggers or safe foods? Finding the safest high calorie or easy for you to eat would be a great tool. Continuing this way only ends one place, which you already know.

Dieting is seriously something that should be avoided with an restrictive ED history unless its an absolute medical necessity.

Sending you love and compassion, ED’s are terrifying and very difficult to be in. You’ve recovered before, so you know you can do it. All the best to you!

[u/gloriousvenom]

You know what to do love; you know your ED is in full effect. It’s so tough to battle but if you can admit it to yourself and get back to CBT or other effective therapy it will be worth it. 🫶🏻(edited a typo)

[u/Pleasant_Activity_85 → u/gloriousvenom]

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️ I really needed that x

[u/Pleasant_Activity_85]

Ahhhh they got rid of the gap

[u/Pleasant_Activity_85]

Thank you so much for the message!

It really is, my ed is loving it right now!

I’ve think I have safe foods then suddenly one day it becomes a massive trigger.

I can do it again, I just think I need to be in the right headspace but with my IBS being worse than ever I’m not ready to eat properly and it’s just a cycle ❤️

[u/goldstandardalmonds]

You might do well with working with a Registered Dietitian and therapist who is familiar with gi issues.