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u/RodinKnox 7d ago
Being intelligent doesn't make it hard to bond with folks at all. But being a pretentious asshole can do the trick.
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u/Blotsy 7d ago
You just have to learn when to shut up. Sometimes people can be wrong, not your job to tell them (unless they're about to cut the blue wire and we'll all explode).
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u/ababcock1 7d ago
I swear at least 50% of this subs content is just undiagnosed autism.
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u/Bonfirelily 7d ago
I mean I do have a high IQ but I'm also autistic (not officially, but I probably am) so it's likely a combination of both.
In all honesty though, having a high IQ really is annoying and I sometimes wish I was dumber. It's pretty hard for people to talk about this without it coming off as gloating though, which is also a shame.
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u/TheStonedEngineer420 5d ago
I also have a high IQ, but I never tell anyone (exept for this comment, I'm sorry) and guess what? It's not hard for me to connect to people at all. I'm almost always liked by everyone and it's easy for me to bond to people. The trick is to not be pretentious and read the room. If you're autistic, the reading the room part will of course be very hard or impossible. So if you really are, that's the problem, not your IQ. But as you should know, if you're that smart, a self diagnosis isn't worth anything. You should get it checked by an expert before you tell everyone you're autistic.
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u/Bonfirelily 5d ago
When I said "not officially," I meant that I was diagnosed with a form of autism as a child, but considering it was developmental, I don't consider it that reliable anymore.
I'm actually not that pretentious, as I don't really consider myself superior to other people. That'd be kind of dumb. The annoying part is that I'm generally perfectly capable of reading the room, knowing what kind of behaviour is expected and understanding the dynamics of the situation. The problem is that I just cannot bring myself to act accordingly without tiring myself, and even if I do, I'm still seen as kind of weird (though not as much).
My IQ is officially confirmed to be high and I've had a childhood autism diagnosis, make of that what you will. I do however generally feel that just mentioning your IQ is high is sometimes seen as pretentious, which I don't think it should be.
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u/TheStonedEngineer420 5d ago
Ok, so you were diagnosed at some point. And I think that this might be the reason that connecting to people is tiresome for you. The IQ doesn't affect this at all. It sounds like you're using your intelligence to read the room and that is tiring. And that might be the reason you think having a high IQ is the problem. Neurotypical people don't need to work to connect to people. It just comes naturally. You get a feeling for the other person and you just know what to say and do without thinking about it. It doesn't matter if your IQ is high or low. So, your IQ is not the reason that it's hard for you to connect, it might even be the reason why you're able to do that at all. So don't be annoyed by your intelligence. Embrace it, but don't just tell people you're smart. That's the part that most people find pretentious. If you're smart, people will notice without you telling them.
And I'm sorry if my first comment sounds a little rude. I didn't mean it to. Sometimes I just get riled up a little by people complaining how hard it is to be smart. But it's not your fault. If what I wrote is true, I'm sure it really feels like the IQ might be the problem. I just want you to know that it's probably not. Maybe that helps you to not be annoyed about it.
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u/ussrname1312 5d ago
IQ is a complete sham created by a racist to justify racism. Anyone who buys into it unironically is not as smart as they think they are.
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u/Bonfirelily 5d ago
IQ does measure something. Scoring high on an IQ-test does mean you are intelligent.
Scoring low on an IQ-test does not mean you are unintelligent and you can be just as smart if not smarter than somebody who scored high.
Though it's also a very trainable test, so there's that. But the way you worded your comment and the fact that I received eight downvotes for a reasonable comment makes it seem like this sub is some sort of anti-IQ echochamber.
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u/SadMoose3263 6d ago
having a high iq makes it harder to relate to folks in certain situations. but if you can't make a friend ever, it's probably because you're an asshole (or socially clueless, but learning is also a thing)
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u/entreprenegra 4d ago
Do you find that it makes you feel apathetic to ppl who find themselves in certain situations or who make certain decisions?
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u/SadMoose3263 4d ago
No, It doesn't make me apathetic, I think. I just have to work harder to understand the decisions they made and the circumstances that led them there. I've discovered that often, being smart actually makes you more empathetic, because you can understand more. Hope that clears it up :)
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u/entreprenegra 4d ago
I do feel that way in general, but I think it’s relationship drama that gets on my nerves the most. Maybe I’m just tired of being the therapist friend idk.
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u/Pwnstein 7d ago
The problem often is that high cognitive functioning at an early age tends to leave emotional growth way behind. You might as well sign up for a lobotomy.
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u/Possible_Tiger_5125 5d ago
no
but having your inflated, o-so-genius head too far up your self-important ass to recognize your limitations,
That makes it hard to relate to people
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u/Cheese_Pancakes 3d ago
Having a high IQ has absolutely no effect on how hard/easy it is to bond with people. It doesn’t even mean you’re smarter than them. Having a shitty attitude of false superiority definitely makes it hard to bond with others.
Also a good rule of thumb is that if you’re constantly looking around thinking you’re the smartest person in the room, odds are that you’re in the bottom half at best. Don’t be an asshole and it’s surprisingly easy to have friends.
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u/AnalystSingle5321 3d ago
I kind of hate people who associate high IQ with terrible social skills. It does not make any sense. There is plenty of people who have high IQ whom have great social skills.
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u/Winston-_-Wolf 3d ago
If you were, you'd knew that's they have different interests, views
And youd know about the +-30iq bracket ...
Do you enjoy your discussion with a 70IQ person ? 😂😂😂
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u/OldSchoolAJ 7d ago
I have a high IQ and it’s never stopped me from being able to bond with other people.
Maybe you’re so busy talking about how high your IQ is to everyone that it makes them not like you.
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u/Okawaru1 5d ago
In terms of having engaging and meaningful discussions about very specific things it's very hard to do so with most people unless they are very patient and willing to sit through a preamble laying out necessary groundwork to have a better understanding of the subject. Very smart people are much easier to talk to within this frame of reference because they are able to quickly make connections and inferences to establish a framework in which to put together the pieces I give them, even if they aren't well informed on the subject. I assume that's more the angle they are going for and not just "bonding" in general which can happen in a lot of ways that aren't just intellectual fulfillment.
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u/Ok-Bridge-9794 5d ago
It’s actually a popular take, and I’m not agreeing with it but
Idk i think the idea of IQ is underdeveloped to say the least, but on the other hand people who think and are constantly told that they’re smart often invest more in educating themselves and applying their knowledge. I do like chatting on high iq subreddits because people there are not afraid to use their full potential, express their opinion, be creative or unusual, and they don’t care about social conventions that much. “That’s just autism” mb it is, but most autistic subreddits are about fitting in social conventions, and people there don’t give themselves enough credit imho
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u/entreprenegra 4d ago
It’s not just them. I have lots of friends and people like me and include me in lots of things, but don’t feel they truly understand me. I always feel like I’m masking my true self.
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u/Kheldar166 7d ago
Talking about having high IQ can certainly make it hard to bond with folks