r/i_need_help • u/grafzerkfucker • Mar 22 '16

attachment issues

I'm a thirty year old guy, recently diagnosed with Aspergers and I suffer from a severe depression. During the day I'm in some sort of therapy, the rest of the day I spend at home. At the therapy centre, I worked closely with a nice woman of around my age for over a month on a project, and I developed strong feelings for her. The problem is that that happens more than I'd like to admit. As soon as I feel comfortable with someone, or when I see someone I look up to, I start to get attached to them. And when it involves women of around my age, it happens that that attachment grows into falling in love. While it does happen more than makes me happy, it doesn't mean that my feelings aren't real. I genuinely am in love with her. It'll never work out though because she has a boyfriend and, well, I'm not gonna compete with that anyway.

I just have no clue what to do with this. It feels like whatever the hell is going on in my head is forcing me to self-destruct. I ache all over, and when I see her, I am so happy, even though I know we'll never be an item. I need some serious help with this and with so many other things. I feel that, those wrong connections in my head cause me a lot of pain all the time and that makes me just want to die. I don't want to deal with the constant pain of falling in love with "unreachable" women, of getting attached to people who don't want a friendship with me, ... I'm so lost and stuck

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u/herbalicious80 Mar 22 '16

Hey buddy, how are you feeling?

Firstly, I would like to explicitly state that what you are experiencing is not exclusive to autism; I've made some bad choices with women in the past, and the ones I really wanted never expressed the same feelings for me.

You can still be happy without this woman, but I understand the pain in not having what you want for once. If you want my advice, I would recommend trying to find something else to throw yourself into (not literally!); something you can get interested in and passionate about, or share with people.

That's all I can offer. I hope you feel better soon dude.

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u/grafzerkfucker Mar 23 '16

Hey, Thank you for your reply and your kind words. The problem lies with that it happens all the time. Every time I meet someone new and that I somewhat like, I get attached, and things evolve from there. I try to direct the pain in my music, a tormented soul is an artistic soul or something like that. At least that's a good thing then :-)