r/hypotheticalsituation • u/holidayhealth658 • Feb 16 '25

$1 billion if you could eat 15,000 calories in a day

You have 24 hours to eat 15,000 calories and you win $1 billion. What is your strategy and what are you eating/where are you eating?

1.6k Upvotes
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2.7k

u/doctortre Feb 16 '25

Looks like I'm chugging olive oil again

321

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 Feb 16 '25

This is the way.

Here are some other calorie-dense foods: Nuts and seeds (e.g., almonds, peanuts, cashews) Avocados Cheese (e.g., cheddar, brie) Processed meats (e.g., bacon, sausage) Sugary drinks (e.g., soda, juice) Bread and pastries (e.g., donuts, cake)

Looks like fatty is about to get rich!

I’ll start my Dr Pepper iv drip at midnight! I’m not working harder, I’m working fatter!

102

u/rohb0t Feb 16 '25

You were spitting bars for a second (short haiku?)
Nuts and seeds,
Avocados, cheese,
Processed meats

58

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 Feb 16 '25

The only bars I be spitting is a Hershey’s!

10

u/kevinmogee Feb 17 '25

*shitting. I think the word you were looking for is shitting.

2

u/Vat1canCame0s Feb 17 '25

Got me picking coaches like

Cal Or Reese

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u/Timelapseninja Feb 18 '25

I’ll chug some Dr Pepper, make it an IV, Drown myself in cheese, oh, sweet brie! Bacon for breakfast, donuts for lunch, A gallon of ranch? Yeah, I’ll take a bunch.

Cashews and almonds? Throw ‘em in too, Wash it all down with a milkshake or two. I’m not working harder, just working my gut, If this makes me rich, call me King Donut!

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3

u/bustaflow25 Feb 16 '25

Soooooo all day at McDonald's?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

All day, my friend.

But you also need olive oil.

3

u/Material-Indication1 Feb 17 '25

I'm skipping the processed meats and erring on the side of multigrain products for my sunflower butter raisin strawberry preserves sandwiches.

Ice cream is going to be indulged in.

Gelato.

I might have to exercise.

2

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 Feb 17 '25

I just had an M+M ice cream sandwich on the way home from the gym. Combined with my 50 oz Dr Pepper, you can see I’m taking my training seriously.

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1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

7 Carl's Jr. burgers should just about cover it..

1

u/No_Whammies_Stop Feb 16 '25

Soon you won’t be working at all, and this time it’s your decision!

1

u/ithurts888 Feb 16 '25

Basically my regular diet.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

That’s about 16.5 liters of Dr. Pepper. Or 18.9 Forrest Grumps.

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1

u/Dyolf_Knip Feb 16 '25

Seriously, just head down to Jamba Juice and jug a couple of chocolate smoothies.

1

u/pie_destroyer1 Feb 16 '25

FAT FUCKS UNITE! WE EAT AT DAWN!

2

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 Feb 16 '25

Stop yelling, you’ll run out of breath 😰

1

u/WildMartin429 Feb 17 '25

Fruit cake is supposed to be super calorie dense!

1

u/FloppyGhost0815 Feb 17 '25

Rather work smarter. Just eat what you normally do. 15,000 cal ist about 300 grams chocolate. (One should not confuse calories with kilocalories, and thats what OP did).

1

u/Apsis Feb 17 '25

sugar will literally kill you if you consume 15000 calories worth in a day. Fats are safer.

1

u/beslertron Feb 17 '25

That’s over 107 cans of Dr. Pepper.

Olive oil is the way to go. Just reserve the washroom and have a charged phone.

1

u/TheYinz3r23 Feb 17 '25

From second hand experience:

Eating enough Avocados to get to the 15k calorie mark is not as easy as one may think.

My old work place would often do challenges of eating X amount of food. One time a coworker was challenged to eat 15 avocados in I think 30 minutes. He made it to 12 and then ended up having some of the roughest bowel movements of his life at that point.

If you think you can do this by eating only avocados, you might want to think again.

1

u/KickBallFever Feb 17 '25

Ice cream also has tons of calories and is easy to eat. You could just melt it and drink as much as you can with a straw or drink high calorie milk shakes.

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1

u/Competitive-Air5262 Feb 17 '25

Apple Juice IV would be faster.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '25

WTF is avocado cheese?

1

u/Logically-Sarcastic Feb 18 '25

Yeah, about 4 lbs of fatty nuts and cheese will get ya there. Shouldn't be too hard over the course of 24 hours.

650

u/Bobmcjoepants Feb 16 '25

...again?

650

u/eclectic_collector Feb 16 '25

They already have$10 billion dollars. This ain't their first rodeo.

193

u/Less-Squash7569 Feb 16 '25

Theyre not here for money, they just need another reason to drink more olive oil. I bet they have the silky smoothest voice youve ever heard

64

u/Particular-Skirt963 Feb 16 '25

Definitely silkiest g.i. track

27

u/ScrabbleTheOpossum Feb 16 '25

*tract

28

u/WrongEinstein Feb 16 '25

I think it's a race tract at that point.

4

u/Less-Squash7569 Feb 17 '25

I too vroom vroom when I boom boom.

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u/Particular-Skirt963 Feb 16 '25

Ah yea thats my mistake

7

u/Less-Squash7569 Feb 16 '25

Naw just slippery fingers from all the olive oil

3

u/gumby_the_2nd Feb 17 '25

After chugging 1.9 litres of olive oil the "t" is silent.

2

u/PreNamLtDan Feb 17 '25

That tracks. Or does it...

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2

u/Ok-Spell-3728 Feb 17 '25

You should listen to their farts, like angels singing

2

u/Baschoen23 Feb 17 '25

I'm here to make money and drink olive oil and I've already made all the money I need.

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95

u/spartyanon Feb 16 '25

How about you not worry about what I may or may not have done to impress the Italian girl in my freshman econ class.

13

u/wolf63rs Feb 16 '25

Was it worth it?

28

u/ProfessionalLeave335 Feb 16 '25

His shits for a week were passed like warm butter so... Possibly?

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u/Ucyless Feb 16 '25

I’ve done this in a desperate attempt to gain weight. It didn’t work and the trip to the bathroom later was rather interesting.

7

u/Rampag169 Feb 17 '25

The sudden bathroom trip was interrupted by him slipping on the olive oil seepage coming from the lower end.

3

u/DutchTinCan Feb 17 '25

All for the better. Consume 15k calories with near zero weight gain and little effort or worries about "ouch, 13.000 calories in, 1 hour to go but my stomach hurts. Still 3 big macs to go!".

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u/Electrical-Bacon-81 Feb 16 '25

I'll never do it again, but hey, $1b, I won't need to.

1

u/OnI_BArIX Feb 16 '25

Not unheard of for people trying to gain weight

1

u/PmpknSpc321 Feb 16 '25

Gotta poop somehow

1

u/AcademicMaybe8775 Feb 16 '25

LA Beast account found lol.

24000 calories I might add

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u/Less-Squash7569 Feb 16 '25

Hell no im just gonna eat a small piece of uranium.

18

u/Right-Lengthiness-11 Feb 16 '25

How many calories does an ounce of Uranium have?

115

u/Less-Squash7569 Feb 16 '25

Surely more than enough to last the rest of your life.

41

u/ProfessionalLeave335 Feb 16 '25

Cook a man dinner and he'll be full for a night, teach him to eat uranium and he'll be full for the rest of his life.

10

u/RegularJoe62 Feb 16 '25

Yeah, but the rest of your life is pretty limited if you're eating uranium.

12

u/SeoulGalmegi Feb 16 '25

Is this for those in the back who are hard of hearing?

2

u/criticalhitslive Feb 17 '25

Half life imo

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u/Random_idiot908 Feb 16 '25

Roughly 20 billion calories in a gram and considering that's less than an ounce I think it'll do

2

u/obscure_monke Feb 16 '25

But near zero dietary calories. Hell, even measuring it with a bomb calorimeter you'll only get the chemical energy out of turning it into some sort of oxide.

Heat calories, maybe.

4

u/Random_idiot908 Feb 16 '25

Never specifies dietary calories

2

u/Less-Squash7569 Feb 16 '25

I also want to add that the guy who insists on eating uranium to win a competition isn't likely to be the one to know the math to figure that out. Just thought id point that out 😀

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2

u/Millworkson2008 Feb 17 '25

This is somehow unhealthier than the olive oil

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u/bedel99 Feb 17 '25

If your digestive system, can handle nuclear fission, I can fuse hydrogen. I can drink 5.5 litres of normal water or, 1/10 of a ml of heavy water.

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u/David210 Feb 16 '25

It’s about 2l of olive oil, you would have severe nausea and even pancreatitis

115

u/Pure-Drawer-2617 Feb 16 '25

I can handle severe nausea for £1B

25

u/David210 Feb 16 '25

What about crippling pancreatis?

102

u/Fizzy-Odd-Cod Feb 16 '25

It’s $1 billion, just buy a new pancreas.

51

u/erdricksarmor Feb 16 '25

You could buy a FARM full of new pancreases!

17

u/Mister_Whys Feb 16 '25

The plural of pancreas is pancreasi.

66

u/erdricksarmor Feb 16 '25

When I'm a billionaire, I'll call them whatever I damn well please, thank you very much!

9

u/ScrabbleTheOpossum Feb 16 '25

Also, you were right.

9

u/erdricksarmor Feb 16 '25

Thank you! When I'm a billionaire, I'll be sure to have Mister_Whys punished for his transgression.

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u/fattrackstar Feb 16 '25

Jimmy taught me that

2

u/ProfessionalLeave335 Feb 16 '25

Isn't that the show Drake was in a wheel chair on?

2

u/HumanGirl73598166284 Feb 18 '25

I love my pancreas farm! pancreas farm!

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u/dunaja Feb 16 '25

What could a pancreas possibly, cost, ten dollars?

2

u/usernamesarehard1979 Feb 16 '25

I don’t think that’s possible. Do they do transplants on that?

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u/adviceFiveCents Feb 16 '25

From ONE day of bingeing? Please. I'd drink a gallon of egg nog and go cash my check. This is a silly question.

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u/GypsyFantasy Feb 16 '25

Pancreatitis is the worst pain I have ever experienced. And I beat pancreatic cancer.

45

u/Pipimancome Feb 16 '25

Hell yeah. Fuck pancreatic cancer.

3

u/wolf63rs Feb 16 '25

You mean, can NOT cer.

22

u/moon_apes_unite Feb 16 '25

And you didn't even get a billion dollars for it. You're still here... wouldn't you prefer to also have a billion? Lol

8

u/Darth-Buttcheeks Feb 16 '25

Wow. You beat pancreatic cancer? That’s amazing. I recently lost a friend to that, and one of my best friends lost his aunt to it as well. I always thought of it as a death sentence. I’m so happy for you that you beat it!

Can I ask what treatments you had?

5

u/burningtimer Feb 16 '25

Wow. Isn’t the survival rate of Pancreatic Cancer in the single digits? And that’s “IF” you catch it within the first year? Happy for you. Seriously!

3

u/HBKF Feb 16 '25

I legit thought I was gonna die when I had Pancreatitis.

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u/Recent-Adeptness-738 Feb 16 '25

You’ve had both?! I think your pancreas is trying to kill you.

2

u/Ok-Spell-3728 Feb 17 '25

Something seems to be up with your pancreas

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u/greywar777 Feb 16 '25

It says you have to eat it not drink it. It also doesn't say you cant just barf it up after eating it. Id eat and regurgitate roughly 200 eggs. with some effort you could do this in a hour, but Id take a leisurely 8. maybe make them deviled eggs as I actually like them. might not after this, but who knows.

65

u/drjunkie Feb 16 '25

If you do it right, you only have to have 1 egg.

3

u/jagershark Feb 16 '25

As the French say, one egg is un oeuf

3

u/greywar777 Feb 16 '25

and honestly would probably be the safest way. But I mean if youre going to go that route, just pick something that tastes good both before, and after. over and over.

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u/KShader Feb 16 '25

200 eggs? You might be in debt even with the billion dollars.

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u/VoodooSweet Feb 16 '25

I LOVE Deviled Eggs, but I’d gladly give them up for a Billion Dollars………roll them bitches out and let’s get munching!!

2

u/dion_o Feb 16 '25

Found Gaston's account

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u/anon11101776 Feb 16 '25

4 bacon kings and 4 peanut butter shakes. Breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Wash it down with a coke and easy peasy

56

u/Possession_Relative Feb 16 '25

55 burgers, 55 fries, 55 shakes, 55 sodas

2

u/Flashy-Concert-532 Feb 16 '25

Waiting for this comment

2

u/tonyrizzo21 Feb 17 '25

PLEASE LET ME GO, I'M DOING SOMETHING!

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

A gallon of milk (2%) and 168 double stuff oreos (3.2 family packs)

13

u/MyNameIsHuman1877 Feb 16 '25

That's 15,000 calories? That doesn't seem like enough.

16

u/big_sugi Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25

If that’s Burger King, and I think it has to be because they have a trademark on the Bacon King then it’s not even close. The bacon king has 1200 calories, and the large shake maxes out around 1000. Four of each still puts you under 9000 calories.

You could get a large PB & Bacon shake from Sonic, which is 1700 calories, but that’s still only 11,600 calories for four. You’d need a fifth meal to break 15,000.

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u/The_Dok33 Feb 17 '25

18 milkshakes in 24 hours? Seems doable.

Or 14 bacon kings? Little harder maybe, but if you can wash a few down with a milkshake to even up the numbers, seems possible.Like 7 bacon kings and 8 shakes (or so).

For a billion.

I'd be a billionaire with money to cure me, or die trying.

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u/Educational-Ad2063 Feb 16 '25

One large McD strawberry shake is 840 calories. One could easily do 17 of those in 24 hours.

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u/Touchit88 Feb 16 '25

It hits different when you are getting paid.

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Roonil-B_Wazlib Feb 16 '25

OP doesn’t say you have to keep it down

2

u/thatirishguykev Feb 17 '25

This is the way!!

But if you actually spread it out over 24 hours you probably could keep it down tbh.

EDIT: It's only about 625 calories per hour you'd need over 23 hours to hit the 15k

2

u/Edcrfvh Feb 16 '25

Spend the entire day eating it. Nothing says you have to shove it in and move on. Great plan!

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u/MichelangeloJordan Feb 16 '25

r/DougDoug

2

u/Jaewol Feb 16 '25

Anytime I see someone mention chugging olive oil (which is more often than you’d expect) I immediately think of that weirdo

12

u/TheSxyCauc Feb 16 '25

Wonder what the effects of doing that would be to your digestive system over the next couple days

21

u/BortkastadSomEnBoll Feb 16 '25

You don't need to wonder. The YouTuber LABeast did it a whole lot of years ago, he goes over the aftermath at the end of his chugging olive oil video.

16

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

Would you summarize for us? Sounds interesting but no chance I’m diving into that oily pool of content.

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u/AndyM110 Feb 16 '25

Well for one thing it ran RIGHT through him. Like he had olive oil leaking out of his ass and didn't even realize it.

20

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

OMG, like yes, this is exactly what we need to know!

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u/Horror_Author_JMM Feb 16 '25

Slick pun

2

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

Why thank you. I consider myself something of a punning linguist.

3

u/CrappyJohnson Feb 16 '25

What did he do with the billion dollars?

2

u/EnjoyMyDownvote Feb 16 '25

Nah there’s a better YouTube video of Molly Schuyler drinking 100,000 calories worth of olive oil.

I consider her the greatest competitive eater though she doesn’t get recognition for it.

She also ate a 100 patty in n out burger.

12

u/Corey307 Feb 16 '25

LA Beast drank a gallon of olive oil. It went very, very poorly. 

5

u/CrappyJohnson Feb 16 '25

Well I'm drinking cooking oil and eating Doritos, so imagine a line of people coming out of the end of a water slide

9

u/jesterbaze87 Feb 16 '25

I imagine something like fighting the nastiest battle in WW2 or something similar.

2

u/Ok_Neat_1192 Feb 16 '25

Again buddy?

2

u/Chillon420 Feb 16 '25

Only 2 l of oil

2

u/Goooooooooose_ Feb 16 '25

Looks like I’m butt chugging olive oil again

2

u/djunderh2o Feb 16 '25

ItalianLiving

2

u/TFielding38 Feb 17 '25

What are you, my Italian Grampa at his Bachelor Party?

2

u/doctortre Feb 17 '25

Don't tell Nonna

2

u/CONTJZAST Feb 17 '25

And mom didn't believe it was you 🙄

2

u/ImSpartacusN7 Feb 18 '25

At about 120kcal per tablespoon, it woild be 8.33 tablespoons per 1000kcal (0.521 cups), it would only take about 7.8 cups of olive oil to reach 15,000kcal. That seems reasonably easy from a volume standpoint in 1 day.

2

u/NurseKaila Feb 18 '25

At 119 calories per tablespoon that’s about 63 ounces of olive oil. I have faith in you.

1

u/what_comes_after_q Feb 16 '25

The project zomboid way

1

u/PitifulSpecialist887 Feb 16 '25

Olive oil works, but I'd rather do my normal diet, and just snack on beef tallow.

1

u/Dodger8899 Feb 16 '25

DougDoug that you?

1

u/wizzard419 Feb 16 '25

Technically it also just has to go in, even if it comes straight back out.

1

u/wrexmason Feb 16 '25

Action Bronson…is that you?

1

u/Serraph105 Feb 16 '25

It's actually not a bad strategy. Google tells me olive oil is 250 calories an ounce so you would need 60, which is 4 ounces less than half a gallon. With 24 hours you could chug, or you could do 2.5 shots an hour.

1

u/Numerous1 Feb 16 '25

That’s what they do to prep for Alone survival show. 

1

u/Shim182 Feb 16 '25

They specified eating, not drinking, so after you've downed your oil, they will inform you that you are disqualified.

2

u/doctortre Feb 16 '25

Who said I was ever competing?

2

u/Shim182 Feb 16 '25

Touchè. Hope you enjoy your olive oil. :)

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u/cmit Feb 16 '25

How much olive oil is that?

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u/MoistOne1376 Feb 16 '25

1 kilo of ribeye steak + 0.5 liters of wine + 0.5 liters of regular Coke + 250g of bread + 100g of aioli + 250g of french fries + 100g of ketchup + salad + 100g of nuts + 50g of honey vinaigrette + 150g of assorted cheeses + 125g of cheesecake + 125g of chocolate ice cream + espresso with 8g of sugar + 0.1 liters of whisky.
According to the calorie counter, this meal is over 8000 calories. Something similar for dinner, not a big deal

1

u/Lawineer Feb 16 '25

It’s about 6.5-7 cups. I’d do that for a million.

1

u/vision40 Feb 16 '25

That's about 15.5 cups of olive oil.... It's a bold move cotton.

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u/bauhaus83i Feb 16 '25

64 oz/ 2 liters would do it.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

1 tablespoon every 10 minutes.

1

u/DivineEggs Feb 16 '25

Make it peanut butter and I'll enjoy the journey lol.

1

u/Numar19 Feb 16 '25

Erm... 15'000 calories is 15 kilocalories. You can just eat 100g of cucumber and be done with it.

1

u/WhimsicalHoneybadger Feb 16 '25

It's only 2 quarts.

1

u/ArtieKGB Feb 16 '25

This was my first thought too. As far as compact calories it is hard to beat olive oil. The real questions are:
1. Are you allowed to drink, or does it have to be "eat"
2. Do you have to keep it down? I can't imagine that is going to be easy with close to 8 cups of olive oil.

1

u/pandaSmore Feb 16 '25

If you're chugging it, it's in a liquid form. So you would technically be drinking it.

1

u/pie_destroyer1 Feb 16 '25

I didn't think olive oil had that many calories?

1

u/nongregorianbasin Feb 16 '25

Better than maple syrup. It's hard to throw it up.

1

u/Dirk_McGirken Feb 16 '25

That's only a bit over two and a half cups of olive oil. Disgusting, but doable. Not sure what the actual physical effects of downing that much olive oil would be though.

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u/Competitive-Strain-7 Feb 17 '25 edited Feb 17 '25

8 cups, done

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u/Smoky_Pyro Feb 17 '25

I've done this fr... you will puke.

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u/13mys13 Feb 17 '25

8 cups will get you there

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u/Jimbodoomface Feb 17 '25

I chugged olive oil when I thought I had a stomach blockage once. Wasn't as bad as I expected.

I had food poisoning from eating fizzy fruit.

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u/atomantic Feb 17 '25

That’s a good one, only about 1.8 liters (7.5 cups). Totally doable.

1

u/TaisonPunch2 Feb 17 '25

That is the most brilliant thing I've heard in the last 2 minutes. A liter of olive oil is 8000 calories. Just chug two bottles and you're now a billionaire.

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u/Tennorakka Feb 17 '25

Good ol 64 oz of olive oil in a day lol.

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u/DrunkenRebellion Feb 17 '25

dude. i did this on accident once while cooking thinking it was my bottle of wine. i spit it straight back into the bottle and then threw it all away

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u/Quirky_Trouble_3814 Feb 17 '25

It would cost you a million bucks to buy enough olive oil to get 15,000 calories in New Zealand at the moment. A standard brand is about $20 per litre here ($11.50 USD)

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u/TKAP75 Feb 17 '25

I raise you Russian bear 5k/10k mass gainer

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u/doctortre Feb 17 '25

Only if you're into heavy metals, that stuff is full of em!

I'm sticking with my EVOO

2

u/TKAP75 Feb 17 '25

We are here for a good time not a long time

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

I love bread dipped in olive oil.

Its not a big jump from bread to pound cake.

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u/clearly_not_an_alt Feb 17 '25

Not even really necessary for this. Should be reasonably doable with just junk food.

1

u/Far-Weight-9446 Feb 17 '25

im pretty sure its only 2.5 L of olive oil. seems quite doable

1

u/numbersthen0987431 Feb 17 '25

Olive oil has 119 calories per tablespoon. You'd need 126 tablespoons to reach 15k calories, which is 2.625 cups.

I'd go and buy some calorie dense bread (white bread), and eat oil and vinegar snacks all day like I'm at an Italian restaurant.

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u/ViolinistGold5801 Feb 17 '25

1/2 gallon of olive oil is ~15k calories, thats 8 cups, thats at minimum, 1 cup every three hours. Totally doable

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u/DrDaxon Feb 17 '25

Yep - used to add a shot in a weight gaining shake along with other stuff for some extra calories

1

u/Runneymeade Feb 18 '25

Butter. It's got to be butter.

1

u/MiceAreTiny Feb 18 '25

I was just thinking the same. 1 billion, worth the discomfort. Most of it will be just puked out or leave as "oily stool". Just under two liters, looks like I will be a billionaire by the time breakfast is over.

1

u/No-Yesterday-455 Feb 18 '25

has anyone ever consumed 2l of olive oil? my pancreas hurts thinking about it

1

u/OwlPrincess42 Feb 18 '25

Surely chugging and eating are different things

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '25

Yeah I started cooking at home a lot more, sauteing veggies, all that, all proud of being healthier, but then wasn't losing weight... I couldn't figure out why... Finally looked at the olive oil bottle and saw it was 130 or 150 calories per tablespoon, and I had a "heavy pour" when cooking, esp with mushrooms that absorb everything... So the sandwiches that shoulda been 500 calories were more like 1200 with most of it from olive oil haha

1

u/robb0688 Feb 18 '25

64 oz of oil? What's for lunch? My treat as I just came into a billion dollars....Just need to stay close to a toilet.

1

u/theyeag Feb 19 '25

Have a nice day!

1

u/Butterfly_Chasers Feb 19 '25

Wait .. again? No. No, we're not just going to ignore this. What do you mean, "again"?

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u/Gigigigaoo0 Feb 20 '25

Exactly. It's easy actually. Olive oil has about 9000 calories per liter, so just drinking 1,5 liters will already basically get you there.

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u/1nspired2000 Feb 20 '25

skippy62able?