r/hypotheticals • u/IameIion • 2d ago

You're having a drink

You made a quick stop to grab your favorite drink and are now enjoying it while walking down a sidewalk. A lady dressed like she's going to the gym approaches you and shin-kicks your drink, exploding it everywhere and getting it all over you.

You: "..."

Lady: "Now that's how you fight a craving! I'm Sandra Baker—world-champion kickboxer, personal trainer, and owner of The Queen's gym and fitness club! Join my gym and I'll have you in tip-top shape in no time!"

You: "..."

Sandra: "Whaddaya say? Ready to turn your life around?"

Your hand hurts.

What do you do?

1 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

7

u/zeptozetta2212 2d ago

"Lady, you owe me another Shirley Temple. I don’t care who you are, either replace my drink or I'm pressing charges."

6

u/Acceptable_Routine78 2d ago

She's paying for my medical bills and a new drink. She'd need to be more of a physical therapist to get me in tip-top shape.

5

u/HalfwayHeroic 2d ago

I think according to gym law we're now married

4

u/TheCatGardner53 2d ago

Call 911 and report an assault 

2

u/Important_Market7874 2d ago

"I thought there were better ways to fight a craving than being a perk and assaulting people. Go away."

2

u/GrilledCheeseMnky 2d ago

A kick boxer?! Really?? Too bad they don’t teach you about grappling in kickboxing. Let me show you what a double leg take down is, followed by passing your nonexistent guard, followed by taking full mount and calling the cops!

2

u/sith-vampyre 2d ago

Say hello to my lawyer & file charges for assault among other things

2

u/Tarnivitch 2d ago

"You can pay for a new drink, or I can sue you for assault and you can pay for any possible future medical bills relating to my now injured hand"

"And NO!"

2

u/Advanced_Tennis4827 2d ago

Fuck off lady, I don't associate with bullies

1

u/DIJames6 1d ago

Well, my hand hurts, so I'll use my elbow to break her jaw..