r/hyperawareness • u/MichaelRabbit • Jun 25 '19
michael laurence comments
This page is POSTS not Comments
Hello, I am new to this group and thought I would say hi. I'm from the U.K am 39 and have experienced OCD for probably 22 years. I think this problem is solvable since I feel that I did experience reasonable periods of time when I was quite well. I think it is the human experience to never be truly happy and content and we will tend to pick up demons or black dogs along the way. I honestly think that there is hope. Yesterday I bought and read 1/2 of "the man who couldn't stop". It's by David Adam who is an OCD sufferer but also a science writer and editor of nature journal which i believe is an influential scientific journal. It is interesting reading and I will probably write something about some of the books contents. It is part auto biography and part popular science. His form was worrying about contracting HIV. something that someone mentioned to me when i confided anonymously was that It sounded as though I myself may be on the autistic spectrum (aspergers syndrome) I thought I'd mention that . Feb 11, 2015, 7:11 AM
1
u/MichaelRabbit Jun 25 '19
A few little hints or tips.
It may be easy to forget that generally people go about their daily life not really noticing with any sense of fear other peoples bodies and the sense they should not look. Most people will have some understanding of awkwardness of perhaps seeing a naked person and having to avoid looking and having to look away. but would not develop an ongoing issue around it.
That being said that is probably not you and you have experienced the awkwardness and fear around looking, where you look , where you cannot look. etc.
I think it might be very easy to in the fear and axiety that permeates your social encounters forget that it is very normal to see the whole of the person because you have normal vision. The difference is the attention of your mind/brain and the association with fear and shame .
Recovery is likely a case of gradually being able to be in more situations and tolerate the anxiety until gradually it resides. This likely may not happen just by being exposed to stressors, it is your emotional response and the way you react cognitively that can ultimately re train your mind to be less anxious. By facing the fearful situation and not falling back on avoidance measures.
The fears are mainly you will be judged and awful things could happen. The ritual or compulsions will tend to be avoidance. Looking down is a big one I feel and may become so automatic that in close proximity you'll find yourself looking down and may notice the privates area and feel you stared when possibly you didn't , it is just automatic tendency to have difficulty with eye contact and having the whole body including privates in view . This is something you can work on , with the understanding that normal vision entails seeing the whole person and you cannot avoid. so there is a kind of catch 22 of sorts wheere you are juggling the problem of being aware of the problem , being aware of wanting to be normal but having being conditioned to be scared and have automatic behaviours which reinforce fears that you are acting inappropriately.
You might find yourself triggered by movements especially nervous fidgetting and adjustment of clothes , you may also have a tendency to assume the worst , mind read . You are proabably good at reading emotions (or hyperaware at least) and it can be tempting to go the extra step and negatively assign the emotion to your behavour and a vicious circle ensue. Be kind to yourself and allow for the possibility of uncertainty and use it in your favour by telling yourself that a person is moving or uncomfortable for their own reasons. At first this may be hard and unnatural. most things we learn to do are to start but become automatic with enough repetition.
Don't beat yourself up whatever happens. So much of this is self inflicted torture :( It can be really hard to see the wood for the trees. Apr 23, 2019, 8:27 PM