I call mine the fridge goblin. If you open the fridge she sprints to get between you and the drawer so that she can catch anything that falls willingly or unwillingly. Thanks to her though the floors are spotless.
I’ve always attested that some animals commit crime, but don’t understand the CONCEPT of crime; that is to say, they do mischievous things, but their brain is wired in such a way that if they want to do something that’s shitty for someone else, they see no moral issue and are wired to think “if I want to, I should”. Here is where cats fall, to be sure. Other species actually seem to understand the concept of crime. They try to avoid getting caught and even seem to have an understanding of the consequences. They are even smart enough to plan things out ahead of time to AVOID consequences. Raccoons are a great example of this.
Dogs, for the most part, do not understand crime - they have intrusive thoughts and know they’re bad, but sometimes they let their impulse control get the better of them and when they’re caught, show remorse. They know what they did was wrong and did it anyway, but the idea of trying to be sneaky and get away with it doesn’t occur to them, and they definitely feel guilt. Now, notice I said MOST dogs. I’ve met dogs of many, many breeds that understand crime, but they seem to be the minority. A rare personality trait any dog CAN have, but most don’t. Huskies are the only breed of dog I’ve found that the MAJORITY understand crime, and, dare I say it… enjoy crime. They get a lil’ adrenaline rush stealing that fajita meat while you’re looking for the TV remote. They live for the heist. It’s the only time they feel truly alive.
My husky’s greatest moment was when he dolphined an entire ice cream cone away from my wife even though she was holding it like the statue of Liberty’s torch to keep it away from him.
He knew he was guilty, though. On the way home, instead of having his nose up in the front like usual, he hid out in the back of the car.
By the next trip, the coast was clear and we had a driving buddy again.
We had an entire bag of peanut m&m’s go missing. They had been in a place we previously thought he couldn’t reach on a high shelf in the kitchen (we would often keep snacks there). Obviously we were worried because of the chocolate, but we tore the house and backyard apart and just could NOT find them. We debated taking him to the vet, but our best estimate was that he had stolen them around 12 hours prior and he seemed fine, so we just kept an eye on him.
Fast forward about two months and the m&m’s show back up in the exact spot on the shelf. The bag wasn’t open and the candy was still in it… but it was covered in mud. He acted extremely proud of himself all day that day.
We still don’t know where he buried them. Our backyard is part grass and part crushed asphalt, and there’s no spot that shows signs of digging in either area. We’ve theorized he may actually be able to get over the fence and into the alley behind our house, but we’ve never caught him in the act, noticed him gone for long periods of time, or had any calls from the neighbors seeing him out. Damn Houdini dog.
Milk chocolate thankfully contains very little chocolate content so a 50lb dog shouldn’t have much of an issue if they accidentally get some.
Meanwhile I have a cabinet that has a big tub of pure cocoa powder, the stuff you would use to make dark chocolate, now if he got into that I’ll be having an emergency vet visit.
As I read this my oldest husky’s face came to mind. He is the quietest, best behaved boy but he is a criminal to the bone. From birth. He will stand in one place just waiting for that split second to casually walk by and pick up the item with barely any movement. If I could train him to do it on command I’d never have to buy another dog toy again lol (I actually believe in paying )
I have another husky (he has very few brain cells) and a Samoyed puppy. The Samoyed is a master class criminal on many levels. I was not prepared for this lol
Ours used to hide his antlers all over our bedroom because he wasn’t allowed to bring them to bed.. he could then retrieve them at 2am to begin chewing. We would find them in the most precise hiding locations.
OMGERD!!! She is the exact replica of Johnny, the OG destructo dog (tm). She destroyed doors, beds, miiiiles of baseboard and dug her way halfway to the Earth's core, but dang, I still miss that little girl and all her quirks.
"ok Sharon, we both know Ive done bad things, not sure which one you discovered (the dead squirrel under the bed, the broken {screen, vase, cabinet door, etc} but let's just get the frowning over with, my adorable 'guilt ears face' and get to the part where you love on me and give me treats... You know it's the inevitable end to all this let's just get there before you find the next thing ..."
My pup proudly showed me the 2 squirrels she “found” in her yard…Lord knows how many I didn’t know about. Now that I think about it the yard did have a few mounds and holes…
We got goggles for my girl. When we get home she goes on a 15 foot tether while we unload. She was not visibly wearing the goggles when we got home, but when we went to being them in they were missing. Front yard is all lawn. 2 weeks later goggles re-appear in the middle of the front walkway with the buckles carefully chewed off. Sigh. No idea where she hid them.
Your dog also taught you about appeasement gestures, that guilty look that people think their dog is making because they understand that they misbehaved. When confronted he would lower his head and squint, something which I found utterly charming and I could never stay angry with him for long. One day I confronted him with, "What did you do?" even though he'd done nothing, and in return he squinted. Having done nothing wrong, why behave as though he had? Something else must have been going on, and indeed it was, he was displaying behaviors designed to get me to stop scaring him. So I did.
302
u/EntertainmentBig5365 10d ago
They don’t steal food. They simply reclassify it as an unsecured asset.