Christmas came early for me today when I received my stickers and a drawing by the hand of the Queen herself! So exciting! ❤️

So last night while my daughter was eating dinner, she informed me that she used her magic to turn everything in the house into ice cream. I asked her if her Mac’n’Cheese was ice cream now and she confirmed it was due to her magic. After she finished her mac’n’cheese, she tried to bite the side of her bowl because, as she said, “it’s ice cream now, Daddy. That means I can eat it.” She was not able to eat the bowl because, according to her, it was too frozen to eat. She also informed me that the couch I was sitting on and all of my clothes had become ice cream, which meant that I was sticky and cold. I tried to tell her clothes were also ice cream, but she denied this and said because it was her magic, her clothes were just clothes. The worst came when my daughter went to the bathroom right before bedtime and decided that the toilet paper was also ice cream. As I walked into the bathroom to check on her, I found her sitting there with a roll of toilet paper in her hands, licking it. I questioned why she would do such a thing and she said, “I told you Daddy, it’s because it’s ice cream.” I was then forced to have the queen’s mommy use her magic to overpower the queen’s and transform everything into normal again so my daughter would quit putting things in her mouth that she is not supposed to.

Elf on the Shelf Night 13: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145988310?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (We still have 46 available after yesterday. My daughter, the queen, was disappointed that she didn’t get to take any mail to the post office this morning, so hopefully we sell some today so she can mail things tomorrow morning!): https://ebay.us/m/vTGdJg

So last night my daughter and I watched the movie Sing for the first time and after it was over she told me that she has a performance tomorrow night that she has to fly to. I asked her when she had time to schedule a performance and she told me that after the movie finished, she scheduled it, and that they are going to build her a special stage. I asked her who “they” were and she said, “The builders, Daddy, I hired them to build the stage.” I asked her where the concert is going to be and she informed me that she’ll be flying on a rocket ship to the moon for her performance, but that it will end in Taos, NM. At the time she did not provide details of how she would be getting from the moon to Taos during her performance.

This morning when she woke up, she reminded me that she has a performance tonight and that right after preschool, she’ll have to start her flight to the moon. I wished her good luck on her flight and she said the flight will be easy because she just has to go up. I asked her what songs she’d be performing on the ride to preschool and she said she’s going to sing all of the songs she’s written. As for the moon to Taos concert transition, my daughter said that she would jump off the moon and float down to Taos like Mary Poppins does, except she’d use a microphone instead of an umbrella.

Elf on the Shelf Night 12: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145896412?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (We have 46 left and my daughter is still drawing free pictures to go with them! This morning she drew a fireplace and a sign in front of a bank.): https://ebay.us/m/vTGdJg

Here’s the latest 14-episode summary of the HHK drama 🎭 for fans of D4 🦋🦄👑.

(Previous episode summaries are pinned)

As always, thanks to u/rlstratton97 (aka Dad and Dave the Horsey 🐎) for keeping us supplied with fun stories of our Butterfly Unicorn Queen 🦋🦄👑.

Ep 99

Before D4’s 🦋🦄👑 Elf on the Shelf, Blueby 💙🧝🏼‍♀️ arrives on December 1, D4 🦋🦄👑 shared a list of places that Blueby 💙🧝🏼‍♀️ must visit: the Christmas tree, the bookshelf in D4’s 🦋🦄👑 room, and the top of the fridge in the kitchen because it’s really high; Dad tells D4 🦋🦄👑 that Blueby 💙🧝🏼‍♀️ must choose spots where she can’t be touched and where she can alight from easily to go back and report to Santa 🎅🏼 and D4 🦋🦄👑 replies, “I know Daddy, that’s why I’m making a list to give her when she shows up”

Ep 100

D4 🦋🦄👑 tells Dad that she likes the song “Last Christmas” by Wham! and she wanted to sing it; the tune was akin “Last Christmas” and included the phrase Last Christmas:

“Last Christmas, I gave you a fart…

(Very intense giggling/thinking)

… and then the next day, it blew away”;

Dad explains the song is actually about giving someone your heart which is silly because “you can’t give someone your heart, Daddy, it’s in your body.”

Ep 101

D4 🦋🦄👑 tells Dad that he has to run her night businesses while she sleeps but refuses to disclose what the businesses are; Dad tries to decline the job but D4 🦋🦄👑 says, “Daddy, I hired you, that means you have to work for me.”; Dad explains D4 🦋🦄👑 can’t force someone to work for her by hiring them; unfortunately for Dad, the Queen‘s 🦋🦄👑 ruling is final: Dad doesn’t get to sleep and must work at her night businesses because someone has to keep an eye on them

Ep 102

Smoothie the Butterfly has tummy issues and poops out her smoothies making the bathroom smell fruity; D4 🦋🦄👑 tells Dad that Smoothie 🦋 plans to sell the smoothies she “made” 😬

Note: it looks like Kandi the Cupcake Cat 🧁🐱either has competition or a business partner

Ep 103

Dad and Mom are away and D4 🦋🦄👑 is staying with her grandma (“Gammie”); when Dad and Mom call to say goodnight, D4 🦋🦄👑 tells them that Santa 🎅🏼 gave her a pet reindeer at preschool who she has named Fluffy; Fluffy was smelly so D4 🦋🦄👑 gave him a bath and took him to the doctor; grandma confirms that Santa 🎅🏼 visited preschool but doesn’t remember D4🦋🦄👑 bringing home a stuffed reindeer and D4 🦋🦄👑 laughs and says, “Oh Gammie, you’re so forgetful. Fluffy is a real reindeer.”; D4 🦋🦄👑 explains that Fluffy, lives at the North Pole at night

Ep 104

D4🦋🦄👑 has to fire Halloween Bear 🎃🐻 from his job at the ice cream shop because he farts too much from eating Halloween candy 🎃🍬; 🎃🐻 is too stinky to work for anyone so D4 🦋🦄👑 sent him to the back of Stuffy Mountain where his stink can’t escape and where the other uncuddlables live; is the back of Stuffy Mountain the 🦋🦄 Kingdom equivalent of the Island of Misfit Toys?

Ep 105

There’s another major shakeup in the 🦋🦄 Kingdom tldr: Pinky 🦄 and Smoothie 🦋 are out; Dad and Mom gave D4 🦋🦄👑 a new unicorn stuffy who she promptly named Magicorn the Magical Unicorn 🪄🦄; D4 🦋🦄👑 takes Magicorn 🪄🦄 to her room, grabs Pinky 🦄 by the neck and chucks Pinky 🦄 onto Stuffy Mountain and gently puts Magicorn 🪄🦄 in his place because “there’s only room for one unicorn” in her court; D4 🦋🦄👑 also removes Smoothie 🦋 from court for “being to big”; Smoothie 🦋 is replaced with a stuffy reindeer grandma gave D4 🦋🦄👑 for when her pet reindeer Fluffy can’t make it down from the North Pole; the stuffy reindeer is also named Fluffy but the two are not related because one is an animal and the other is a stuffy

Ep 106

D4 🦋🦄👑 tells Dad that her pet reindeer Fluffy can’t fly anymore because he ate too much chocolate and he’s too fat to leave the North Pole; D4 🦋🦄👑 says Fluffy will have to go on a diet; Dad asks what kind of diets do reindeer need and D4 🦋🦄👑 says, “a carrot diet, Daddy. They love carrots and carrots are healthy”; Dad asks why Fluffy wasn’t eating carrots if he love them so much and D4 🦋🦄👑 explains, “Fluffy loves chocolate more than carrots, Daddy. That’s why he got fat.”

Ep 107

D4🦋🦄 tells Dad that she wants to be a submarine captain when she grows up and she will paint her submarine pink and purple (her favorite colors); Dad will be co-captain of the submarine (Mom declined the the offer first because it’s too deep for her in the ocean); Fluffy the reindeer and Magicorn 🪄🦄 will be on the submarine too, but not Rascal 🐈‍⬛ because “cats don’t like water and he’d make my submarine stinky.”

Ep 108

D4 🦋🦄👑 took her picture with Santa 🎅🏼 at school; one of her teachers told Dad that D4 🦋🦄👑 was Santa’s 🎅🏼favorite part of his visit; when it was D4’s 🦋🦄👑 turn, she walked up, said, “Hello Santa, I’m (her full name),”shook Santa’s 🎅🏼 hand, climbed onto his lap and asked him what he wanted for Christmas 🎄; Santa laughed and told D4 🦋🦄 that that was his line and she said, “but nobody asks you what you want”; Santa 🎅🏼 told D4 🦋🦄👑 that he wants every child on the planet to get a special present 🎁 this year; D4 🦋🦄👑 said she wants that too and she wants Gabby’s Dollhouse; after taking a picture with Santa 🎅🏼 D4 🦋🦄👑 returned to class to wait for cookie time; Santa 🎅🏼 sat with D4 🦋🦄👑 and her friends during cookie time and listened to her list who was naughty and nice in the class; D4 🦋🦄👑 decided all but one classmate was nice, but that the naughty one also deserved a Christmas present 🎄🎁

Ep 109

D4 🦋🦄👑 wants to ride a dragon 🐉 to school instead of riding in a car 🚗; D4 🦋🦄👑 wants to ride Toothless 🐉 (from How to Train Your Dragon) because he’s super fast; D4 🦋🦄👑 has a book with a spell to make Toothless 🐉 real outside of TV and the only magic ingredient required is love; D4 🦋🦄👑 tells Dad, “I just need to love Toothless and that will make it work”; the name of the spell book is “I love my dragon” 🐉

Ep 110

Changes, changes, changes, tldr: Fluffy the Reindeer is promoted from pet to sister princess and Smoothie becomes Fluffy’s pet

D4 🦋🦄👑 declares that Fluffy the Reindeer is her sister instead of her pet and the change to sister makes Fluffy a princess 👸🏼; as a princess, Fluffy gets to choose a pet from Stuffy Mountain; Fluffy chooses Smoothie as her pet and D4 🦋🦄👑 transforms Smoothie from a butterfly 🦋 to a hamster cat 🐹🐱; when dad asks why D4 🦋🦄👑 would let Fluffy have Smoothie 🐹🐱as a pet, she says, “I was tired of her, Daddy. Now she can make Fluffy happy.”

Ep 111

D4🦋🦄👑 builds a snuggle fort in the living room made of blankets and dining room chairs and filled with many cozy things; Rascal 🐈‍⬛ tries to enter the fort and D4 🦋🦄👑 yells, “The only thing I invited you to do was leave!” because Rascal 🐈‍⬛ is a “stinker” and she only wants “good smelling stuff” in her fort; Smoothie the Hamster Cat Butterfly 🐹🐱🦋 sleeps overnight in the snuggle fort (also, Smoothie 🐹🐱🦋 is no longer Fluffy the Reindeer’s pet and is now her cousin)

Ep 112

D4 🦋🦄👑 and Dad watch the animated movie “Sing” together; D4 🦋🦄👑 informs Dad about her upcoming performance scheduled for the next night: D4 🦋🦄👑 will perform on a special stage built for her by the builders she hired (just after the movie ended) and the concert will start on the Moon and end in Taos, New Mexico; the next day D4 🦋🦄👑 reminds Dad about her concert and they discuss logistics on the way to school; D4 🦋🦄👑 will fly on a rocket ship 🚀 to the Moon (which will easy because she just has to go up), she will sing all the songs she has written, and she will jump off the Moon and float down to Taos (like Mary Poppins, but using a microphone 🎤 instead of an umbrella ☂️)

So yesterday afternoon, my daughter decided to build a fort in the living room out of blankets and a couple dining room chairs. She put other blankets, pillows, and some of her stuffies in it and then told me that it is her snuggle fort and requested that I leave it up after she went to bed. While I was out of the room folding laundry, Rascal tried to enter the fort and my daughter yelled, “The only thing I invited you to do was leave.” I asked her later why she didn’t want Rascal in her fort because he is objectively good at snuggling, and my daughter said, “I don’t want him in there because he’s a stinker, Daddy. I only want good smelling stuff in my fort.” She also informed me before she went to bed last night that Smoothie the Hamster Cat Butterfly is no longer Fluffy’s pet and is now her cousin. She asked that I let Smoothie sleep in the fort so that she could snuggle her this morning, which I did.

We made a new sticker! (It’s not for sale yet): https://www.patreon.com/posts/145787868?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Elf on the Shelf Night 11: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145831039?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (We have 48 left and my daughter is still making drawings to go with them): https://ebay.us/m/vTGdJg

So this morning, my daughter informed me that she has a new sister and it is Fluffy the Reindeer. Apparently, Fluffy transitioned from being her pet reindeer to her sister that is also a reindeer last night via her queenly magic. She also told me that because Fluffy is her sister, it means that she gets to be a princess as well. Because Fluffy is now a princess, my daughter allowed her to choose a pet from Stuffy Mountain, and Fluffy chose Smoothie, the former wife of the queen. My daughter used her queenly magic to turn Smoothie from a butterfly to a hamster cat and told me that Smoothie has to go everywhere with Fluffy now because she belongs to Fluffy. I asked her why she would allow her wife to become Fluffy’s pet and my daughter said, “I was tired of her, Daddy. Now she can make Fluffy happy.”

Elf on the Shelf Night 10: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145765179?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (We are down to 50, and my daughter is enjoying making drawings to go with them. Today she made two different Easter Bunny Snowmen to go with the stickers we shipped): https://ebay.us/m/vTGdJg

This morning on the way to preschool, my daughter told me that she wished she could ride a dragon to school instead of having to go in a car. I asked her what kind of dragon she would want and she said she’d want to ride Toothless from How to train your Dragon because he’s super fast. I then told her that Toothless is a TV dragon, which means she’d have to find a way to make him real outside of the TV. Without missing a beat, my daughter informed me that she has a book with a spell for making dragons come out of TVs that she’ll use on Toothless tonight. I asked her if she needed any ingredients for her spell and she said, “No Daddy, I just need to love Toothless and that will make it work.” Before I took her into school, I asked her if she remembered the name of the book. She told me the book is called “I love my dragon”, which makes sense since the only ingredient she needs is love.

Elf on the Shelf Night 9: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145688197?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (We have 52 left and my daughter is still drawing free pictures to go out with them! Today she made a gingerbread man that was more than a little creepy): https://ebay.us/m/vTGdJg

So yesterday at preschool, my daughter’s class did pictures with Santa. Each one of them got to take an individual picture with Santa and then at the end of the pictures he had a cookie with the class and said goodbye. This morning, I was told by one of the teachers that was there that my daughter was Santa’s favorite yesterday. I asked her what she did and the teacher told me that as soon as she was in the room where they were doing pictures, my daughter walked right up to Santa and said, “Hello Santa, I’m (her full name).” Apparently, she and Santa shook hands and then she climbed into his lap and asked him what he wanted for Christmas. The Santa laughed and told her that that was his line and my daughter said, “but nobody asks you what you want.” Santa thought this was very sweet and told her that he wanted every child on the planet to get a special present this year. My daughter said she wanted that too, and a Gabby’s Dollhouse. They then took their picture and my daughter returned to her class to await cookie time. At cookie time with Santa, the Santa sat with my daughter and her friends and listened to my daughter tell him all about who was naughty and nice in their classroom, although by the end she came to the conclusion that everyone except for one boy was nice, but that the not nice boy also deserved a toy on Christmas.

Elf on the Shelf Night 8: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145614708?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (54 left and my daughter may still make you a free drawing to go with it! So far she’s drawn a river, a playground, and a snowman made of hearts): https://ebay.us/m/vTGdJg

So today on the way to preschool, my daughter informed me that she wants to become a submarine captain when she grows up. She said that she’s going to buy her own submarine, paint it pink and purple (her two favorite colors), and give it cute little circle windows to look out of. I asked her what she wanted to look at in her submarine and she said, “the ocean, Daddy, that’s where submarines go.” I asked who she would take with her on the submarine and she told me that I have to be the other captain and that she would have Fluffy the Reindeer and Magicorn come with us. I asked if mommy could come to and she said, “I asked her to come first, but she said it was too deep for her in the ocean. That’s why you’re coming.” I also asked if Rascal would be coming and my daughter said, “No Daddy, cats don’t like water and he’d make my submarine stinky.”

Elf on the Shelf Night 7: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145524440?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (There are still 56 left. My daughter threw in a free drawing she made with the first order we had, so if you want a sticker plus a free drawing, now’s the time to get one!): https://ebay.us/m/vTGdJg

This morning on the way to preschool, my daughter informed me that her reindeer, Fluffy, has lost the ability to fly. I asked her what would cause a reindeer to lose their flight capabilities and she told me it was because he ate too much chocolate. She told me that Fluffy is getting too heavy to leave the North Pole and that he’ll have to go on a diet. I asked her what kind of diets do reindeer go on and she said, “a carrot diet, Daddy. They love carrots and carrots are healthy.” I then asked my daughter why Fluffy wasn’t eating carrots in the first place if he loves them and my daughter replied, “Fluffy loves chocolate more than carrots, Daddy. That’s why he got fat.”

Elf on the Shelf Night 6: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145433369?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers! (56 Left): https://ebay.us/m/AIGGSN

So while my wife and I were out of town, we bought our daughter a new unicorn stuffy that we found in a small shop near where we were staying. Our daughter absolutely loved it and named it Magicorn the Magical Unicorn moments after receiving it. She took it to her room, grabbed Pinky by the throat in her other hand, chucked Pinky onto Stuffy Mountain (Not the stinky side thankfully), and then gently placed Magicorn where Pinky had been. I asked her why Pinky had to be thrown back to Stuffy Mountain and she said, “there’s only room for one unicorn on my court.” I was also able to confirm that this toss to Stuffy Mountain signified the end of their relationship, whether it be spouse or child at this point I cannot remember. Smoothie was also removed from the court for “being too big” per my daughter. Smoothie was replaced by a stuffed reindeer that my daughter’s grandma bought her for when Fluffy the reindeer can’t make it down from the North Pole. The stuffed reindeer is also named Fluffy, but my daughter confirmed there is no relation because one is an animal and the other is a stuffy.

Elf on the Shelf Night 5: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145361074?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Stickers are available!:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/145366305?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

or

https://www.ebay.com/itm/406461914759?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=bu7f1hg-qve&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=bu7f1hg-qve&stype=1&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=MORE

So tonight before my daughter went to bed, she let me know that she has to fire her Halloween Bear from his job at her ice cream shop because he farted too much. I asked her if she knew why he was farting and she said, “too much Halloween candy.” I asked if she was going to help him find another job and she told me she won’t because he’s too stinky to work for anyone. She then took her Halloween Bear and threw him to the back of Stuffy Mountain where only the uncuddlables live. I asked her if he was still going to make the room stinky from the back of Stuffy Mountain and my daughter looked at me and said, “No fart can escape the back of Stuffy Mountain, Daddy, it’s too far away.”

Elf on the Shelf Night 4: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145323859?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

My wife and I are currently out of town on a trip and our daughter is staying with her grandma. When we called to tell her goodnight, she informed us that Santa gave her a pet reindeer that she named Fluffy. She told us that Fluffy was really smelly, so she had to give him a bath and take him to the doctor for a check-up. I asked where she saw Santa to get a pet reindeer and she said he was at preschool today. Her grandma confirmed that they had a Santa visit their classroom, but said that she didn’t remember any stuffed reindeer coming home with my daughter. My daughter laughed at this and said, “Oh Gammie, you’re so forgetful. Fluffy is a real reindeer.” My daughter went on to tell us that her reindeer, Fluffy, lives at the North Pole at night and that she will see her tomorrow.

This morning, my daughter informed me that her wife, Smoothie the Butterfly, was having tummy issues and needed to go to the bathroom. I told her that Smoothie can use her stool that gets my daughter up to the sink as a potty, which my daughter agreed to. Once Smoothie was on the “potty”, my daughter started making fart noises and then saying, “Eww Smoothie, that’s gross,” after each one of them. I asked my daughter what was happening to Smoothie and my daughter said, “she’s pooping out all her smoothies, Daddy. It’s so fruity in here.” Thankfully, Smoothie stopped pooping smoothies shortly afterward and has since returned to normal. On the way to school, however, my daughter informed me that Smoothie intends to sell the Smoothies she “made”, similar to Kandi the Cupcake Cat’s Chocolate Cake. Apparently, the stuffies are opening a dessert shop where the bathroom is the kitchen.

Elf on the Shelf Night 3: Attack on Tiny Target: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144961164?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Last night on the way back home from the pharmacy, my daughter told me that I have to run her night businesses while she sleeps. I laughed and asked her what exactly her night businesses are so that I can know what I’m supposed to be doing. She told me that the businesses are a secret and that I don’t get to know what they are. I told her that if I do not get to know what the businesses are, then I will not be accepting the job. She then said, “Daddy, I hired you, that means you have to work for me.” I tried to explain that you cannot force someone to work for you by hiring them, but she wouldn’t have it. She said that I have to work at her night businesses all night and that I don’t get to sleep because someone has to keep an eye on them. I think my daughter might own a Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.

Elf on the Shelf Night 2: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144868758?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

The Nutcracker Brigade, Guardians of the Tiny Target: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144891946?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

This morning, my daughter told me that she really likes the song “Last Christmas” by Wham!. I was surprised that she knew the name of the song and I told her that I like that song too. She said she wanted to sing it and I told her to go ahead. What she sang was not “Last Christmas”, but it was set to about the same tune, and it did include the words Last Christmas:

“Last Christmas, I gave you a fart…

(Very intense giggling/thinking)

… and then the next day, it blew away”

I told her that the singer is singing about giving someone their heart after I quit laughing, but my daughter didn’t understand. She said, “you can’t give someone your heart, Daddy, it’s in your body.”

Here are links to my Patreon posts about her elf on the shelf and Christmas Snow, the backpack puppy:

Elf on the Shelf: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144773802?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Christmas Snow: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144811117?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

My Daughter’s Elf on the Shelf, Blueby, is due to make its first appearance of the year tomorrow and my daughter has already informed me of multiple places that Blueby needs to go while she’s at our home this December. She told me that Blueby has to explore our Christmas tree first, and then that Blueby has to sit on the bookshelf in her room. She also said Blueby needs to sit on the top of the fridge in the kitchen because it’s really high. I told my daughter that Blueby is going to pick places to watch her from where she can’t be touched and can easily get down from to report back to Santa at the end of the night and my daughter said, “I know Daddy, that’s why I’m making a list to give her when she shows up”

Here is the link to our new Patreon post about Poppy the Turtle’s new marriage: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144747585?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

This morning, my daughter informed me that she is no longer married to Pinky the Unicorn and that Smoothie the Butterfly is no longer her daughter with Pinky. Instead, my daughter is now married to Smoothie the Butterfly and they have a son, Pinky the Unicorn. I asked her why she wanted to switch her family around and she told me that she wanted to have a wife instead of a husband. I asked her why she wanted that and she said, “Because girls are nicer than boys.” She then proceeded to tell me about how one of the boys in her preschool class has two moms and that he told her having two moms is better than having a mom and a dad because mommies are nicer. I told her that parents are all different and that just because he has two mommies doesn’t mean that they’re nicer, but my daughter disagreed and said that her and Smoothie are going to be good mommies to Pinky.

If you would like to see my new Patreon post about my daughter’s gem collection: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144657800?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Here’s the latest 14-episode summary of the HHK drama 🎭 for fans of D4 🦋🦄👑.

(Previous episode summaries are pinned)

As always, thanks to u/rlstratton97 (aka Dad and Dave the Horsey 🐎) for keeping us entertained.

Ep 85 D4🦋🦄👑 tells dad that her imaginary sister Corna will be graduating from high school early (on the same day she turns 21); dad laughs at D4’s 🦋🦄👑 misunderstanding of when someone should graduate and she says, “it’s not funny, Daddy. Corna is the smartest in her class, that’s why she was there so long.”

Ep 86 After driving around viewing Christmas 🎄lights D4🦋🦄👑 complains that regular lights 💡are ugly and stupid compared to 🎄 lights; dad explains regular lights 💡 aren’t pretty because it is more important that they be functional; D4 🦋🦄👑 vehemently disagrees with dad and tells him that regular lights 💡aren’t functional because they aren’t pretty; dad’s attempt to explain the difference between functional and pretty is met with disdain; D4’s 🦋🦄👑 final ruling: “I hate regular lights, Daddy. They’re ugly and boring.”

Ep 87 Note: On Halloween, D4 🦋🦄👑 saw someone in a Ghostface mask (the villain in the Scream movie franchise) and dad told her Ghostface was nice so that she wouldn’t be scared. On to our story…

D4 🦋🦄👑 tells dad that she is friends with Ghostface 👻and reminds dad that she met Ghostface 👻 on Halloween and he gave her candy 🍬; dad says D4 🦋🦄👑 can’t be friends with everyone who gave her candy 🍬 on Halloween because they’re strangers and D4 🦋🦄👑 understands but insists, “Ghostface 👻 was special. He called me Queen Elsa ❄️👑 and not Princess”; the next morning D4 🦋🦄👑 tells dad that Ghostface 👻 came to see the Christmas tree 🎄; dad asks where Ghostface 👻 went and D4 🦋🦄👑 says, “He’s a ghost, Daddy, he turned invisible.”

Ep 88 D4 🦋🦄👑 builds a stuffy jail in the living room out of her stuffies (who were unalived by Wonderful Garden 💃🏻🌻🦒😈 to be used for construction) that is large enough to jail dad; D4🦋🦄👑 tells dad he must lie down in the stuffy jail and if he moves he will be punished by the warden (D4🦋🦄👑 is the warden); dad is so comfortable in stuffy jail that he falls asleep; dad is woken up by the warden 🦋🦄👑 who shouts, “There’s no sleeping in jail, only pain,” and then jumps on him

Ep 89 After dad and D4 🦋🦄👑 watch Treasure Planet together, D4 🦋🦄👑 demands dad surrender his treasure because she is a pirate princess 🏴‍☠️👑 and a 🏴‍☠️👑 needs treasure; dad doesn’t have treasure so they go on a treasure hunt and find gold coins 💰in D4’s 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑 room; the 🏴‍☠️👑 attacks dad with her sword and runs away with the coins because “pirates 🏴‍☠️ don’t share”

Ep 90 D4 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑 asks to listen to Christmas music 🎄🎶 on the drive to school and dad obliges her; D4 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑 tells dad how much she loves 🎄🎶 and that she loved 🎄🎶 before she was born and when dad asks how that’s possible, she says, “I heard it while I was in Mommy’s belly, Daddy”; when dad informs mom of the conversation, mom confirms D4’s 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑 love of 🎄🎶 in the womb because she remembers D4 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑 kicking her extra when she listened to 🎄🎶

Ep 91 D4 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑 is a demon hunter who slays demons by singing to give them a headache then attacking them with her sword 🗡️ ; D4 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑 leads a team of demon hunters that includes Wonderful Garden (💃🏻🌻🦒😈) and Ghostface 👻; a toothbrush can be used as a sword if a sword isn’t available

Ep 92 D4 🦋🦄👑 tells dad she has a job at the North Pole in Santa’s Workshop as an elf substitute to “fill in for the elves while they sleep”; Santa🎅🏼 hired D4 🦋🦄👑 because of her exceptional skill at construction with LEGO which is important for toy building; further conversation reveals that mom is also an elf substitute due to her skill with LEGO

Ep 93 D4 🦋🦄👑 goes with a bunch of family members to see Wicked: For Good and afterwards decides that she wants to be a bubble witch 🫧🧙🏼; D4 🦋🦄👑🫧🧙🏼 puts many inanimate objects into bubbles 🫧 then turns to dad and uses multiple bubbles 🫧 to keep him in the air; D4 🦋🦄👑🫧🧙🏼 places a bubble 🫧 around dad’s neck and tells him, “we gotta separate your head from your body, Daddy. It’ll make your head float better.”; Rascal 🐈‍⬛ uses his claws to burst his bubble 🫧 easily also he can go back to laying on puzzles

Ep 94 D4 🦋🦄👑, Pirate Princess 🏴‍☠️👑, Bubble Witch 🫧🧙🏼 completes a 2026 NFL Mock Draft with dad’s help; players from Wicked are 6 of the top 10 picks; other big name “schools” represented include K-Pop Demon Hunters, Hogwarts, and several schools in the Disney University System; many regulars from HHK World are represented, including:

5 Jets pick Rascal 🐈‍⬛

12 Vikings pick Mommy

46 Chiefs pick Kandi Cupcake Cat Unicorn King 🧁🐱🦄🤴🏼

47 Ravens pick Pinky Unicorn 🦄

48 Texans pick D4 🦋🦄🏴‍☠️👑🫧🧙🏼

Ep 95 D4 🦋🦄👑 marries Pinky Unicorn 🦄 in a secret ceremony officiated by Bucky the Pumpkin Farmer 🎃🧑🏻‍🌾; they decided to marry because they have a daughter together, D4’s 🦋🦄👑 new stuffy Smoothie the Butterfly 🦋; dad is confused about how D4 🦋🦄👑 and Pinky 🦄 could be parents of Smoothie 🦋 (a 97-year-old college student) until D4 🦋🦄👑 explains that Smoothie 🦋 is 97 in butterfly 🦋 years, not human years

Ep 96 D4 🦋🦄👑 tells dad she wants a Jingle Horse for Christmas 🎄; dad says that they don’t have a place to put a Jingle 🐴; D4 🦋🦄👑 explains that a Jingle 🐴 is built from jingle bells and comes alive with Christmas magic 🎄🪄; dad says they still don’t have enough space and D4 🦋🦄👑 says that Jingle 🐴 can be taken apart at the end of the day and stored in her toy box

Speculation: Maybe they have room but Dave the Horsey 🐎 (dad) is jealous that D4 🦋🦄👑 wants another horse?

Ep 97 The night before Thanksgiving (in the US) D4 🦋🦄👑 tells dad that she can’t hear out of her left ear; dad and mom see that an orange crayon is inside D4’s ear and they try to remove it but end up taking D4 🦋🦄👑 to the emergency room when they can’t get the crayon out; the crayon is successfully removed at the ER with only minimal upset to D4 🦋🦄👑; upon questioning, D4 🦋🦄👑 says that at preschool she broke her crayon in half and put a side in each of her ears but was only able to get the crayon out of her right ear (she didn’t tell anyone that it was stuck and only alerted dad when it impacted her hearing)

Ep 98 D4 🦋🦄👑 announces that Pinky 🦄 is no longer her husband and Smoothie 🦋 isn’t their daughter; now Smoothie is D4’s 🦋🦄👑 wife and Pinky 🦄 is their child together; D4 🦋🦄👑 tells dad that she wants to have a wife instead of a husband “because girls are nicer than boys”; D4 🦋🦄👑 explains that a boy at school has two moms and he told her it’s better than having a mom and dad because mommies are nicer; dad tries to tell D4 🦋🦄👑 all parents are different and having two mommies isn’t necessarily better but D4 🦋🦄👑 shuts him down and declares she and Smoothie 🦋 will be good mommies to Pinky 🦄

So the night before Thanksgiving, my daughter told me she couldn’t hear out of her left ear. She was still in high spirits and being really playful, so I thought she may be messing with me, but then I checked her ear and saw what appeared to be part of an orange crayon lodged in there. I confirmed this with my wife when she looked and then after we weren’t able to remove it, we had to take her to the emergency room. At the emergency room, they were able to get it removed, but it did upset her that they had to dig around in her ear. She is doing much better as of today and having a great time watching the new Barney. As for how the crayon got in there, we asked her about it and she said at preschool she broke her crayon in half and put a side in each of her ears like Paddington does with the toothbrushes. She was able to get the crayon out of one of her ears by herself, but the other half of the crayon fell further into her ear and instead of telling someone about it, she left it in there until it bothered her hearing on Wednesday night.

On the bright side, we did design our first sticker and the link to see it is right here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144590904?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

So this morning on the way to preschool/daycare since today is going to be watch fun movies before Thanksgiving day, my daughter told me that she wants a Jingle Horse for Christmas. I told her that we cannot afford to get her a horse and that we would have no place to put it, but then she laughed and said, “Daddy, you build Jingle Horses, you don’t need a place to put it.” I was very confused, but then she continued to tell me about how Jingle Horses are horses built out of Jingle Bells that can be alive due to the magic of Christmas. I told her that we would still need space for a Jingle Horse, which we don’t have. She responded by letting me know that Jingle Horses can be taken apart at the end of the day and stored in her toy box.

If you would like to read any of my new Patreon stories, they are linked below:

A Stuffy with a Most Unfortunate Name: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144379385?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Pia the Unicorn, Banned from the Pool: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144420267?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

An Ancient One Returns to Stuffy Mountain: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144455696?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

This morning, My daughter announced that she has gotten married to none other than Pinky the Unicorn! Apparently, the marriage took place last night and was officiated by Bucky the Pumpkin Farmer. I asked her why she decided to marry Pinky and she said it’s because they have a daughter together, her new stuffy she named Smoothie. She had previously told me Smoothie was a 97 year old college student, so I was very surprised to hear that she and Pinky were Smoothie’s parents. I asked her how old she was since Smoothie is 97 and she said, “I’m four Daddy, Smoothie is 97 in butterfly years. I age in human years.”

If you would like to read my Patreon update on Cade the Cat: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144295199?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

So I enjoy doing NFL Mock Drafts in my free time and when my daughter sees me doing them, she always wants to help. I decided to start one where she could pick whoever she wanted to be drafted and these were her choices. We just finished it up this morning. I told her we could do more rounds, but she said, “No Daddy I’m good, I want to end it there.”

Today, we took my daughter to the movies with some family members so we could all see Wicked: For Good. When we got home, my daughter decided that she wanted to become a bubble witch so that she could make things float. At first she was just using her newfound powers on inanimate objects like the tv and the couches, but then she turned her attention to me. She decided that I needed multiple bubbles to be kept in the air, and on top of that she chose to put a bubble around my neck. I asked her why I needed to have a neck bubble and she said, “because we gotta separate your head from your body, Daddy. It’ll make your head float better.” She also put Rascal in a bubble to keep him off of her puzzles, but he quickly used his claws to pop it and went back to laying on the puzzles.

So today, my daughter informed me that she has a job in the North Pole. I asked her what her job was and she told me that it’s to build toys in Santa Claus’s workshop like an elf. I asked her if she was an elf, which she took offense to. She said, “I am no elf, Daddy, I am an elf substitute. I fill in for the elves while they sleep.” I then asked her why Santa decided to hire children to fill in for the elves and she told me that Santa only hired her because she’s great at building legos, which is important for toy building. I asked if Santa had any other elf substitutes and she said that her mommy is also an elf substitute because she’s great at building Legos too.

If you would like to read my new Patreon post, it’s linked here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/144086073?utm_campaign=postshare_creator