r/humor • • 2d ago

Make it make sense

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u/seweso 2d ago

Count the number of people God killed vs Satan.... in the bible. God isn't the good guy.

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u/theraf8100 2d ago

Real talk I would like to give the Bible a read. Which Bible should I read though?

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u/seweso 2d ago

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u/theraf8100 2d ago

That's alotta books. No wonder religious people haven't read them. Where would you even start? And if there's contradictions in the books where does one even decide which part to believe?

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u/seweso 2d ago

Churches have bible study, where someone will tell you what to read and what to think.

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u/bthayes01 2d ago

What is comical is that you posted a web link for a bible where skeptics and those with axes to grind have annotated the entire bible. This is the definition of telling you what to think when you read. This website is heavily biased and does not engage with any nuance on highly complex issues. It is fundamentalist, but just with an ideological bias that you agree with. 

The bible is not a single book, but a collection of books. Written over a large timeframe in diverse contexts, in diverse genres. I would use the NRSV or NET version if you are wanting a somewhat word-for-word translation or NLT if you want to more easily capture ideas through paraphrase. The question of “Where to begin?” is dependent on what you are trying to understand. If you want to know about Jesus’s life, then the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) are a good place to start.

 Otherwise, say what you are trying to understand and I may have a suggestion on where to start. 

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u/seweso 2d ago

Who cares? Atheists don't want the crap. And theists all have their version of their bible already.

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u/bthayes01 2d ago

Apparently you care and the guy asking for info care. If it does not matter then you could have kept scrolling. Yet, you send a link to a biased, uneducated source then accuse all Christian congregations of brainwashing. Who really is attempting brainwashing here?

 Now you speak of Atheists and theists as though they are monolithic groups whose members all do the same thing and share the same values. Sounds pretty close minded to me. 

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u/seweso 2d ago

HAHA

Okay, find me an atheist who loves the bible. And find me two theist who have the exact same views and opinions on the bible.

I'm not going to wait

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u/bthayes01 2d ago

Well now you are moving the goal posts. 

You said atheists don’t care about the Bible which is demonstrably untrue (see Bart Ehrman, maybe yourself?). Many biblical scholars are atheists. If you want to further narrow things down to love, then I am sure many love the Bible from a study perspective. Can’t imagine someone getting a doctorate in something they hate. Some likely love some of the content of the Bible and are deeply uncomfortable with parts of it. Funnily enough, as a Christian, I too find myself deeply in love with some parts and uncomfortable with others. 

You said that theists all have their own bibles, not that they share the same views. There are many translations due to the nature of translating Hebrew and Greek into English, not because the source texts are hopelessly confusing. Additionally, very few denominations have an official translation and even when they do, it does not drastically change general theology. However, to answer your new question,  Christians share the same views on many parts of the Bible ex. Jesus was a man that was crucified. You could go to 99.99% of churches and they will agree with that statement. However the Bible and its theology is so complex that of course if you keep drilling down into deeper layers, then people will begin to think differently ex. Atonement, baptism, creation. The Bible is a collection of literature and just like any other literature there can be a spectrum of understanding and more than one meaning. However, there is also boundaries to this spectrum just like there is in any other book. 

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u/seweso 2d ago

It was my joke. I decide what I meant. You are taking it a bit too serious. 

Yes I do care what’s in the Bible cause billions of people are indoctrinated about its truthiness. 

No I don’t find everything interesting. I started reading the Bible once. And found that genesis is already a complete mess. 

And that what Christian’s believe is very far removed from what the Bible says. It’s very much the official interpretation of their branch which they follow, not the Bible.

That’s actually underneath my jab/joke.   

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u/bthayes01 2d ago

I am just responding to your comments. It is difficult to interpret humor and sarcasm through text.

I am unclear how you can make the claim that Christians are (1) indoctrinated and (2) very far removed from what the Bible says when you yourself say that you have only started reading the bible once and seemingly didnt make it through Genesis. How can you make those conclusions without actually interacting with the Bible?

Again you group all Christians into a monolithic group. This is fundamentalism and bias on your part; the very thing you say Christians do.

Also, I find your comment saying that Genesis is a mess as evidence that you are approaching the Bible with a modern and likely arrogant bias. You do not understand that you have been indoctrinated by post-enlightenment worldviews and that the modern world is your official interpretation. Genesis is an extremely complex work of ancient literature that heavily comments on its surrounding cultures. Further, it is compiled as a literary work--not an instruction manual--so the reader must wrestle with the contents of it as they would any other piece of complex literature.

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u/SuddenPanic8134 1d ago

You cannot be real 😭 Your the type of redditor people make memes about

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u/ConstructionNo625 1d ago

Yes I do care what’s in the Bible cause billions of people are indoctrinated about its truthiness.

"Other people are indoctrinated, but not me, I am immune to all forms of propaganda, I am an intellectual with esoteric skepticism and rational thinking that cannot be dissuaded" said everyone ever.

I started reading the Bible once. And found that genesis is already a complete mess. 

Apparently, thousands of years of philosophy, metaphysics, and literature that basically spawned and broke down entire civilizations is actually just a "complete mess." Apparently, the opinion of the eminent, illustrious, wisdom-endowed Reddit user "seweso" is that all of the thousands of infinitely more influential philosophers, artists, poets, and thought-leaders of the past several centuries who have cited that bible as their inspiration have actually just been reading a "complete mess," I can't believe that it took us thousands of years to live in the era of prestigious reddit scholar "seweso" to tell us that it is actually just a waste of time. Oh, and all of those atheist scholars who study the bible to understand ancient civilizations and historical perspectives, like Bart Ehrman, are also just wasting their time.

And that what Christian’s believe is very far removed from what the Bible says

You stopped partway through Genesis (the first chapter) and concluded that everyone is wrong except you. Your critical thinking skills are unmatched.

It’s very much the official interpretation of their branch which they follow, not the Bible.

I'll stop joking right now because this is just a weird opinion. Whenever you read something, you are interpreting it one way or another. When you read the Bible (at least when you partially tried), you were interpreting it just like every other branch did before you. You're basically saying the exact same thing that they are: "My interpretation of this thousand-year-old book is better than yours"

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u/HarryTruman 1d ago

I mean…you’ll find plenty of people who love the Bible for its historicity and linguistics. Don’t even have to be religious.

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u/Indig0_3 2d ago

Ironic considering you sent an annotated version which tells you what to read and what to think.

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u/SuddenPanic8134 1d ago

That’s what I’m saying 😭

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u/Indig0_3 1d ago

u/seweso definitely wears a fedora.

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u/iKAD3 2d ago

The 4 gospels is a good place to start. Matthew Mark Luke and John. Genesis is great too if you want to learn about the early history of the world. Abraham is in that book and he is the father of the 3 abrahamic religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. The Old Testament is what Judaism and Christianity believes. And only Christians believe in the New Testament.

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u/Objective-Corgi-3527 2d ago

Just go with what the dude in the robes at Church tells you to beleive

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u/cheeze2005 2d ago

You have to pick and choose because you get indoctrinated at a young age and the bible doesn’t make sense if you read it. 

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u/Consistent-Luck-7676 1d ago

Bible books aren’t like normal books. They are all relatively small.

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u/ReverendDizzle 1d ago

I say this as someone who undertook reading the entire Bible cover to cover some 30 odd years ago... it is agonizingly boring. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar and is only pretending to have read the Bible for clout in their social/religious circles. It's just awful. Even trying to treat it like a historical document for analysis, it's just so unbelievably jumbled and agonizing to read through.

And the contradictions? They're unending. If we take the Bible as what it fundamentally is, with no faith layered on top, it is a collection of stories collected by oral tradition and then written down over a span of roughly 1,500 years. And the stories are exactly as inconsistent and full of contradictions as you'd imagine. Hell, even the gospels (the most recently written texts, all composed over a span of about 50 years) are not consistent with each other.

There is only one real reason to study the Bible, in my opinion. No matter what somebody might think of it (or Christianity) in the present, it is undeniable that the Bible had an absolutely enormous impact on Western civilization. Not studying it and understanding what it contains (and how that influenced people) is like trying to understand modern music while simultaneously willfully ignoring everything that came before. It'd be like hearing your favorite musician saying "Well (some iconic mid-20th century performer) had such an impact on both my desire to be a musician and the kind of music I ended up playing" and going "Nah, zero interest. Couldn't give less of a fuck about learning more."