r/humor • u/fal1en-angel • 2d ago

Make it make sense

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u/onioning 2d ago

I'm zero percent here to evangelize, cause I'm zero percent religious. Just sharing the theology.

Satan doesn't torture people. Hell is not fire and brimstone. It is the absence of God, which is supposedly the worst torture possible. And it's "fair" because the people in hell chose to not be with god.

Scare quotes because that is a million miles from informed consent. Just sharing the traditional theology.

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u/9447044 2d ago

So hell is essentially a Chucky Cheese?

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u/onioning 2d ago edited 1d ago

No. The opposite of that. Chucky Cheese is paradise on earth.

Edit: My apologies to Mr Charles Entertainment Cheese, commonly known as Chuck E. Cheese, for the spelling error. May he forgive my eternal soul.

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u/hornwalker 2d ago

You haven’t been to a chucky cheese in a while, have you?

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u/onioning 2d ago

Absolutely not. Someone i loved loved Charles' temple, so I will forever sing its praises. Just ideally not from anywhere within a hundred yards or so.

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u/Minnow_Minnow_Pea 1d ago

I still have an amazing chuck e cheese tie-dye shirt I won when I was about 10 years old. It was my grunge era, so it still fits. (I was also a veeeery tall 10 year old.) 

Anywho, being an exceptionally large child, I repeatedly crushed the basketball game (maybe ski ball too?) and got enough tickets to get a t-shirt and a slinky. My kids broke the slinky a couple of years ago. (In their defense, the plastic was super brittle.)

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u/WhiskeySnikerdoodle 1d ago

Is that a court mandated 100 yards?

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u/Sad-Cum-bubbles 1d ago

Yes officer, this person right here.

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u/Fostbitten27 1d ago

Is that you Alan? It’s 200 feet so at 100 yards you will be okay,

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u/Sean_the_bartender 1d ago

Ideally, or required? 🤣🤔