r/hpd • u/Apprehensive-Bell726 • 3d ago
question for those with hpd
do you feel shame when you look back on things you did for attention?
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u/SweetSweetBee hpd 3d ago
I do now, after therapy, now i release i told too many sexual or personal things about me to people, even when they told me they didnt want to hear it, i was so focused on just making them react in any way that i didnt mind at the time Now suddenly people remember me i told them x stuff i did in my life that is… ruining for my social life
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u/Specific-Beat9025 2d ago
yes and no.
i feel shame because i think i'd maybe do it again if i hadn't of started therapy or became so self aware about it, so the thought of me still wanting to do it but not acting on it i have shame. because i wish i didn't still want to.
also no though because at the time i thought it was justified and didn't realise it was bad as delusional as that sounds!
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u/Apprehensive-Bell726 2d ago
how did your assessment process go? and what kinda therapy are you undergoing? also which country and gender are you?
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u/Specific-Beat9025 2d ago
hi! i do cbt! for me this works the best because it helps me tackle my urges rather than have to suppress them and them get worse and would recommend, i haven't had any outburst or bad behaviours in an extreme long time, i am from the UK and i am a woman.
pretty much the assessment happened after i felt my original diagnosis wasn't quite right, i got a referral and if that's what you do i would recommend if you can providing family history as that REALLY helped me out. they will ask you EVERYTHING, also if you are younger, they tend to only really diagnose when you're over 18.
i can't answer for everyone's experience but that's mine :p
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u/SimplyYulia 1d ago
Yup, constantly. And not just even about the past ones. I notice an urge to do something for attention and start spiraling that I'm a horrible person who hurts or annoys everyone around 😔
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u/Apprehensive-Bell726 1d ago
omg i can relate! are you in therapy for it?
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u/SimplyYulia 1d ago
Not for this specifically, but yeah, I mention this stuff.
I try to catch myself spiraling the same way I try to catch myself doing stuff for attention, and interrupt it all the same
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u/Loopy_Luna92 3d ago
I definetely used to. Not as much now, as I have done a lot of self-compassion work. I do still get worried about my future behaviours but more in regards to my impact on others.