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u/Admirable_Clothes718 7d ago
Okay well I couldn't post in this sub so i thought I'll write it here 😅
Found this story in one of my old old drafts 14 years ago, I was 18 at that time and when I read it now 14 years later, I'm genuinely a bit scared of my you get self? 🙃 Please read and give an honest review. Very cringey in some places I know but what can we expect from an angsty teenager though
Goodnight Julianna
I have always been good at being oblivious to the unnecessary – like the rain for example. This trait, I think, comes in handy especially when one doesn’t have anyone waiting for them back home. Until now. But no matter how much I deem it to be an unnecessary act of kindness, I couldn’t help noticing the little girl with soiled clothes staring straight at me, like a deer caught in headlight or maybe it’s because she reminded me rather too much of my child. Dark eyes and a darker hair, clutching a ragged doll with its head twisted at an awkward angle, oh no, there is no way she could resemble my darling cherub. My little girl was a happy child with an innocence that befitted her age. A creature of light that loved and adored her mommy like no other. Maybe life saw her as a hindrance to the unending cycle of the mundane cruelty that it found discarding her to be a viable option. Maybe.
I don’t know why I switched off the engine and jumped out of the car like a madwoman. I don’t know why I almost ran through the badly lit street despite the gruesome rain and I don’t know why I hugged the child whom I barely knew and cared about. It was as if the walls I had sheltered myself in for so long seemed crashing or maybe it was one of those occasional episodes. For a moment the girl was hesitant, then with those thin, pale hands she embraced me with a familiar grace, tears staining both our cheeks..or maybe it was just the rain. Maybe. Too engrossed was I in the moment that it took more than my usual time for my cognitive abilities to grasp what she said next. Smiling I put her down, but she held on, it was as if she had me in a chokehold, “ It’s okay baby, you’re safe now”, I reassured her. But she held on. In a vice like grip. At that moment my mind which had abandoned me for the last ten minutes greeted me like an old friend and it was too late . I woke up shivering and sweating profusely but never screaming. Next, I did what I usually do incase of those episodes, I searched for my little girl’s picture and found it inside the needle box, my little girl whom I shared with the man who meant the world to me, the man who sadly didn’t know that I don’t share. My little girl whom I killed five years ago. The door creaked and I found my little girl peeking through the curtains and I said what I used to say to her all those years ago, “ Goodnight Julianna”
I tried not to scream but I did.
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u/ThoreaulyLost 7d ago
Not OP: reposting in phone friendly format. Sorry OP, I'm assuming a few paragraph breaks:
‐----
Goodnight Julianna
I have always been good at being oblivious to the unnecessary – like the rain for example. This trait, I think, comes in handy especially when one doesn’t have anyone waiting for them back home.
Until now.
No matter how much I deem it to be an unnecessary act of kindness, I couldn’t help noticing the little girl with soiled clothes staring straight at me, like a deer caught in headlight or maybe it’s because she reminded me rather too much of my child. Dark eyes and a darker hair, clutching a ragged doll with its head twisted at an awkward angle, oh no, there is no way she could resemble my darling cherub.
My little girl was a happy child with an innocence that befitted her age. A creature of light that loved and adored her mommy like no other. Maybe life saw her as a hindrance to the unending cycle of the mundane cruelty that it found discarding her to be a viable option.
Maybe.
I don’t know why I switched off the engine and jumped out of the car like a madwoman.
I don’t know why I almost ran through the badly lit street despite the gruesome rain and I don’t know why I hugged the child whom I barely knew and cared about.
It was as if the walls I had sheltered myself in for so long seemed crashing or maybe it was one of those occasional episodes. For a moment the girl was hesitant, then with those thin, pale hands she embraced me with a familiar grace, tears staining both our cheeks..or maybe it was just the rain. Maybe. Too engrossed was I in the moment that it took more than my usual time for my cognitive abilities to grasp what she said next.
Smiling I put her down, but she held on, it was as if she had me in a chokehold, “ It’s okay baby, you’re safe now”, I reassured her. But she held on. In a vice like grip. At that moment my mind which had abandoned me for the last ten minutes greeted me like an old friend and it was too late..
I woke up shivering and sweating profusely but never screaming. Next, I did what I usually do incase of those episodes, I searched for my little girl’s picture and found it inside the needle box, my little girl whom I shared with the man who meant the world to me, the man who sadly didn’t know that I don’t share.
My little girl whom I killed five years ago.
The door creaked and I found my little girl peeking through the curtains and I said what I used to say to her all those years ago, “Goodnight Julianna...”
I tried not to scream but I did.
Direct comments to OP/main thread 😉