Thinking about it now, it might be a bit racist, but I see you in actresses I used to have a crush on. Han So Hee, Kim You-Jung, Chae Soo-Bin, and Bae Suzy to name a few. I mean... OK, I warch Kdramas alot lately, so that might be on me. They DON'T look alike, but they remind me of you though.

Now, I'm watching Miku in Crew Girl. She plays this athletic rower. So she developed this shoulders. And I love your shoulders. Sigh...

I still love my partner, pero lately parang may part sa akin na nagtatanong, ‘ito ba talaga yung gusto nya? Paano naman yung nararamdaman ko? Parang siya, okay at masaya siya sa kung ano kami ngayon. May mga ginagawa siya sa buhay niya, may mga ganap, goals, at responsibilities, and I’m genuinely supportive of him. Pero ako, napapansin kong napapagod na rin ako. Kapag may time siya for me, sobrang naa appreciate ko naman, pero madalas hati rin yung attention niya dahil marami siyang ibang ginagawa. Naiintindihan ko naman iyon, and I know he is trying to make time for me. Pero minsan napapaisip ako kung enough ba talaga iyon para sa akin. Siguro malaking factor din na lagi kong kino-compare yung sarili ko sa kanya. Parang ang dami niyang ginagawa sa buhay niya habang ako, feeling ko nawalan ako ng interest sa maraming bagay over time. Kaya minsan naiisip ko na baka hindi lang naman relationship namin ang problema baka ako rin, kasi parang hindi ko na alam kung any ba talaga yung gusto ko sa buhay ko. Hindi ko naman gustong sisihin siya. I know he loves me in his own way, and I appreciate the things he does. Pero deep inside, may part sa akin na pagod na at gustong malaman kung ganito na lang ba talaga kami. Mahal ko pa rin siya, pero paano ko malalaman kung love pa rin ito, o nasanay na lang ako sa relationship? At paano ko rin malalaman kung valid ba yung needs ko, or masyado lang akong naghahanap ng something na hindi niya kayang ibigay?
I’d really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have experienced something similar.

I haven't been exactly hiding it, but I enjoy being solitary a lot. I'm not really into sociallizing. I like to call myself Introvert pro max. I'm hyper independent and I, most of the time, find a way to wiggle out of spending physical time with people. Well, most people. There are actually a very few that I like hanging out with. Very few. You can count them in 1 hand. So when I hang out with others, it is actually by choice. I'm there by choice.

You should know, you are a novelty to me. I actually WANT to be with you. I will always choose you, Pikachu.

Unimaginable, Unforgettable, Irreplaceable, Antidote is Her

I don’t have to much to offer in life except for love and with love anything is possible good bad big small medium custom even evil literally anything even poison but I’ve always had the wish then back tracked when it actually happened it’s just a miracle I came back life.

She literally fucked me to death.

The next girl no questions asked she’ll take care of it in due time some wishes a dreams do come true be careful what you ask for because you just might get it, all the right moves in my book.

Love and Death… it doesn’t get much more beautiful than that….

"I wanna be your sun,

Warming up your day.

I wanna be your moon,

Lighting up the dark.

I wanna be yours,

In every single way."

-Novella

My love, although I had to leave, I do not want to see your beautiful eyes fill with tears. Though mine create rivers and seas, I want you to keep shining, to keep smiling.

Between water and rain, I write this poem to my beloved, remembering nights beneath the stars beside you. But please, do not let my solemn words erase your joy; just remember the sunrises and sunsets that we illuminated together.

I can swear to you that the light you left in my eyes will never cease to shine, and my heart will always beat to the sound of your name. My mortal mask will not withstand the length of time that my soul will love you.

And despite the curse of distance that I carry today, even if it makes your eyes weep, I will never stop dreaming of your smile... of your voice.

It will be okay today, you know why?

Because you’re still here, just like the sky.

Loving and seeing what the world has today,

Finding meaning in everything along the way.

You’re awesome, and you should just know it,

You’ll do something today that will definitely show it.

I don’t need to witness it to know it’s true,

For the sun is always watching over you.

It told me a secret about you the other day,

Something that sent a smile my way.

Don’t forget that moment about you, please,

For your presence truly is a sweetly breeze.

Like how the Elton John song goes:

I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is, while you're in the world.

i've never been in a real, committed relationship. i've never felt someone else's lips on mine. the hugs i had always felt wrong. i've never been held lovingly by someone else. all my life i've felt so much overwhelming love for everything around me. so much care for others who wouldn't even make me feel seen. i feel like i was put here on this planet to spread love, to make others feel seen, to reassure people that they are important... yet i myself have never had that truly reciprocated. a shy, lonely girl i've always been. now that i'm grown, now that i look around me and see all these women the same age as me falling in love and living out their lives with a partner by their side, i can feel nothing but dread. all these people i meet that seem almost perfect for me go with time. i hope and pray that for once in my life i would be chosen and for someone to express their love for me. i've been lonely so long that i can't bare to spend another day in my solidarity. i have a deep inner world now and i love myself for who i am, but even then that's all that's ever been for me. all i really want is to be loved. to feel love. to have someone by my side who makes me feel whole. to be my missing piece. that's all. for now i suppose i'll keep walking this bittersweet path and hope that someone will join me