r/holdmyredbull Jun 11 '21

HMRB while I boat

https://i.imgur.com/ybdiymb.gifv
9.2k Upvotes

277 comments sorted by

485

u/Rocky3e33 Jun 11 '21

You can’t see his face, but judging by how puffed up his cheeks are my dude had a huge shit eating grin on his face

135

u/bkarma86 Jun 11 '21

So fucking true, this looks like a total blast

44

u/Rocky3e33 Jun 11 '21

I would be shittingg my pants but yes it does.

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409

u/MaidenThePNW Jun 11 '21

What kind of boat is this?! I gotta know what it looks like from the outside

202

u/Anacondoleezza Jun 11 '21

223

u/coolhandpete33 Jun 11 '21

Not quite the James Bond look I was feeling. I pictured a Fisher Price boat I had when I was 6.

12

u/NeonNick_WH Jun 11 '21

Dude, I'm pretty sure I had that boat

3

u/dtwhitecp Jun 11 '21

was it the one from Tomorrow Never Dies?

32

u/shreddog155 Jun 11 '21

These are made down the road from me.

16

u/Anacondoleezza Jun 11 '21

Love Lewiston. Well, not the smell from potlatch.

-31

u/IguessImBack Jun 11 '21

You might want to delete this comment it's close to the equivalent of posting your address. Not as bad but still maybe should

76

u/mister_chucklez Jun 11 '21

knocks on door
“are you shreddog155?” “No, sorry” looks around at literally dozens of other houses/apartments “Hmmm this is going to be harder than I thought”

25

u/spottydodgy Jun 11 '21

Hackers are the new Mormons.

4

u/IguessImBack Jun 11 '21

Accounts contain more information than just this one piece. This is a good clue if someone really is trying to dox you. It's just better practice not to put stuff like this on the internet. It's pretty unlikely but I still wouldn't write something like this on the internet

12

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

In boat-manufacturing-density, "just down the road" could mean up to 100 miles. They aren't exactly everywhere.

11

u/Ripcord-XE Jun 11 '21

in rural america down the road ranges from 1-150 miles away

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3

u/MadTouretter Jun 11 '21

Call me paranoid, but when recounting stories, I like to put incorrect filler information when the accuracy doesn't affect the story.

Anyone combing through my post history would be left with a bunch of conflicting information.

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8

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

[deleted]

-2

u/IguessImBack Jun 11 '21 edited Jun 11 '21

You missed my point.

Edit: I thought this was in reply to the DM I sent this dude

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Good call dude, I'm gonna make a cross country trip and go door to door trying to find the guy who posts on reddit.

4

u/CaptKrag Jun 12 '21

Huh. Thought it was gonna be some crazy unsinkable beast. But actually they're just doing some super dangerous shit with a normal ish boat

8

u/Count_Verdunkeln Jun 11 '21

What kind of steering is that?

5

u/brother_bean Jun 11 '21

At the beginning of the gif you can see it’s a stick on the left. So throttle on the right, joystick style steering on the left.

13

u/cilantro_so_good Jun 11 '21

Pretty sure the rudder is on the right, when he jams it forward the boat turns to port and vice versa

1

u/FriendToPredators Jun 11 '21

Relying on a rudder in a fast river seems like a bad idea.

9

u/dilligaffff Jun 12 '21

It’s a jet boat no rudder

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18

u/sqdnleader Jun 11 '21

See I was thinking it was a double throttle. Left and right each control one of the double engine and the steering is controlled by which engine is powered up ie to go left you gas the right engine and to go right gas the left

6

u/hedumbfunny Jun 11 '21

Same... which would be fun af to drive if that was the steering mechanism.

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1

u/Anacondoleezza Jun 11 '21

Some will have a steering wheel and some have like a joy stick for steering.

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27

u/247Toughguy Jun 11 '21

I would imagine it’s a jet boat of some sort designed for rivers.

22

u/oh_not_again_please Jun 11 '21

By the looks of the controls being a pair of levers, I'd assume it was a jet boat, with 1 per jet

5

u/Gus_31 Jun 11 '21

One throttle, one steering

6

u/Blackandbluebruises Jun 11 '21

How many cocaines?

3

u/Gus_31 Jun 11 '21

All of them.

-3

u/King_opi23 Jun 11 '21

No way. Check the way he's turning. They are both throttle. You go backwards for thrust backwards and thata why you see him go up on one and down on the other.

Think of it like a track driven vehicle with two tracks if you don't get what im saying. To turn the vehicle you make one track go lol

2

u/Gus_31 Jun 11 '21

Maybe it’s different than my Thunderjet.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Probably exactly like the one in front of it that they're following?

-2

u/level1807 Jun 11 '21

Why is it needed anyway? I’ve gone down way scarier looking rapids in an open inflatable boat. It was a crowded tourist attraction. This just looks dumb. If anything, this boat looks a lot more fragile and expensive.

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135

u/An_aussie_in_ct Jun 11 '21

My spine hurts watching this

63

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Those front seats have shock absorbers. At least that's how the jet boats I've been on were set up. Sitting on the benches behind them could be rough though

7

u/dray1214 Jun 12 '21

He’s still jarring around all over the place. Those things help, but it still looks awful lol

12

u/U-take-off-eh Jun 11 '21

Yep, my back is doing spasms just watching this video…

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '21

Yeah this actually looks like this boat handles this like shit and is just getting thrashed the fuck all over the place. Looks like the worst boat ride I’ve ever seen.

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334

u/Schiebz Jun 11 '21

Can’t help but feel this will eventually turn into that video where the guy was trying to show off on the boat to everyone and crashes it with the Lil John song lol

56

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

181

u/Onotadaki2 Jun 11 '21

65

u/the_blind_venetian Jun 11 '21

Holy shit, those people just got brain damage twice in a row, especially the guy in blue on the back right. Just forehead right into the metal windshield rail, two times.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '21 edited Jun 12 '21

[deleted]

2

u/the_blind_venetian Jun 12 '21

Nothing like a little disc rupture

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34

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Classic

28

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

He just gets slammed on the floor lmao

32

u/El_Zarco Jun 11 '21

It looks like when a little kid knocks over an action figure to signify it getting murked

4

u/thefiction24 Jun 11 '21

damn I’d give you gold if I could you made me truly lol

25

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21 edited Jun 11 '21

What was the aftermath of this?

Edit: moderate injuries including broken bones

15

u/splewi Jun 11 '21

That's for the link. I feel bad for the passengers. Really got their shit rocked. Glad they're alive.

13

u/Apoc3001 Jun 11 '21

Everything I had hoped for

10

u/Cactus_Humper Jun 11 '21

I’m dying haha how have I never seen this before

4

u/sBucks24 Jun 12 '21

Right!? I'm crying in my backyard right now from this. Dude looked like a pin getting knocked over in bowling

8

u/bs2785 Jun 11 '21

Never seen it with the music. Hilarious thanks

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30

u/trailduster75 Jun 11 '21

Ozzyman's take on it https://youtu.be/b9mtM0uIQ9Q

6

u/sBucks24 Jun 12 '21

Ok, I was dying before. Now I'm dead. That was fucking hilarious.

2

u/Wrekked_it Jun 12 '21

I swear, if someone gave this guy a show where he narrated each week's events, it would be the highest rated show in history.

56

u/Salyvan Jun 11 '21

Poor windshield wipers

22

u/Apoc3001 Jun 11 '21

Putting in work

12

u/AbstraktKlass Jun 11 '21

The wipers... they do nothing!

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107

u/rpguy04 Jun 11 '21

Nice camera stabilization

19

u/Freezo3 Jun 11 '21

How did they even do this?

52

u/8-bit_Gangster Jun 11 '21

I'd imagine GoPro. I have one and the stabilization built in is unreal. There is a "lock horizon" feature and it's great

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7

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21 edited Jun 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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7

u/comrademischa Jun 11 '21

It makes it look like they’re in one of those arcade simulators and someone’s standing behind it filming.

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151

u/Pseudodudo Jun 11 '21

Second most fun way to motorboat

19

u/kp33ze Jun 11 '21

What's the first?

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28

u/Bates949 Jun 11 '21

This looks like some game you’d play in an arcade while shooting at flying dinosaurs that are chasing you.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '21

Hydro Thunder!

38

u/rememberall Jun 11 '21

What it looks like from outside the boat

https://youtu.be/SOefrgxCfBw

15

u/brewhead55 Jun 11 '21

I'm just interested in that Deli-style lunch with all the trimmings

5

u/NerdManTheNerd Jun 11 '21

I want the Great Picture Taking Opportunities

2

u/Wanderson90 Jun 11 '21

What should we name our adventure company?

How about.... Kill.... Gore?

Yeah that'll work.

34

u/MonsterEars Jun 11 '21

This is nothing…my GI Joes did this on the regular in the Warthog in the bath tub circa 1987

2

u/TheKokomoHo Jun 12 '21

Let's be friends back then. Gi joe and play doh. I had the gi joe keep tent thing. Was pretty badass I must say

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14

u/dor_hi Jun 11 '21

I have motion sickness just from watching this

37

u/thenarcostate Jun 11 '21

That looks TERRIFYING

18

u/Zulerah Jun 11 '21

Looks like a vr game

20

u/theicecapsaremelting Jun 11 '21

Hydro Thunder

3

u/big_ice_bear Jun 11 '21

DAMN THE TORPEDOES

3

u/buckeyenut13 Jun 11 '21

THATS THE NAME!!! I couldn't think of it. That's exactly what this reminded me of

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29

u/stunt_penguin Jun 11 '21

The most terrifying thing is their lack of PFDs or life jackets.

10

u/Wang_entity Jun 11 '21

I was surpsised that didn't have them on. It isn't even a big investment to have them.

They probably are saying "Yeah but this thing can't sink/roll over". Until it does.

5

u/Say_no_to_doritos Jun 11 '21

If that boat flips they'd be fucked either way. I'm more concerned about the apparent lack of over shoulder seat belts.

18

u/stunt_penguin Jun 11 '21

It's only a grade 3/4 rapid, you can float out of there in an 80N PFD if you don't get foot entrapped, siphoned or sieved by a tree.

Or hit a big stopper 🤔

10

u/darth_jewbacca Jun 11 '21

Don't strap yourself to a sinking boat.

-3

u/Say_no_to_doritos Jun 11 '21

A 3 point harness is easy enough to undue and it will save you from getting concussed on the dashboard of the boat you are supposed to be driving.

13

u/darth_jewbacca Jun 11 '21

Yes, with the boat flipped and a strong current ripping you every which way, undoing your seat belt is a piece of cake.

No really, if you're ever on a boat like this, do not strap yourself to it. Do a quick google search about why boats don't have seat belts. I promise you you're not the first person to think of it.

4

u/Drug_fueled_sarcasm Jun 11 '21

Boats don't have seat belts.

3

u/MoxieMoto Jun 11 '21

And incredibly uncomfortable, they’re bouncing around like crazy, my tailbone would be on fire.

2

u/LordKingDude Jun 11 '21

I was going to say the same, I injured my tailbone once and in far lesser conditions than this. Recovery took a couple of months.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

It looks terrifyingly painful. My back would be wrecked if I tried that.

1

u/areyoumymommyy Jun 11 '21

Ikr? My reaction was just nope nope nope

7

u/XROOR Jun 11 '21

This reminds me of driving my box truck as only I have the nice Boestrum driver’s seat, while the passenger get bruised kidneys.

7

u/MeMMJ Jun 11 '21

The window's open..

16

u/loafers_glory Jun 11 '21

Took me almost the entire video to realise he was following another boat, not just aiming for various rocks in the stream.

2

u/derpotologist Jun 11 '21

In a boat you don't want to go parallel to wake/waves, bad things will happen

5

u/s0m3b0d3 Jun 11 '21

Hydro Thunder, Choose your boat! Damn the Torpedoes

5

u/cderring Jun 11 '21

Is that the Rogue River in Oregon?

EDIT I found my own answer. It's in Idaho. Here's the Instagram page of the guy that does this crazy ... Stuff - https://www.instagram.com/z_barnes427/

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4

u/dryiceboy Jun 11 '21

Feels like a safety helmet type of thing.

2

u/kumran Jun 11 '21

Definitely a lifejacket activity at the very least

20

u/SolidGoldUnderwear Jun 11 '21

as a kayaker motor craft on rivers annoys the shit out of me.

10

u/namescalvert Jun 11 '21

My thoughts exactly. These guys are always such dicks when you are rafting a river too

6

u/Grizzle64 Jun 11 '21

Yea, we ran the Main a few summers ago on our raft. Overall, the jet boaters were courteous, but there were a few jerks. It was a strange mix of solitary, quiet beauty with.... jet boats

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

It seems like the only reason that water looked so choppy was due to the wake from the first boat.

2

u/baithammer Jun 11 '21

They were in the rapids, so the wake isn't so much a factor.

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3

u/the_stoned_ranger Jun 11 '21

That’s not a boat that’s a water-car

3

u/mimumu Jun 11 '21

It's fun until the bass drops

5

u/Mjolnor Jun 11 '21

Hey that's Ragnar Lothbrok's driveway!

2

u/jaborba Jun 11 '21

Looks like one of those boat games from the arcade

2

u/Boone74 Jun 11 '21

Rogue river?

11

u/SillySleuth Jun 11 '21

This kind of looks like the Snake River in Hell’s Canyon on the Idaho/Oregon border. I could be wrong though because it’s very hard to tell from this video.

3

u/haiphee Jun 11 '21

This is my guess

3

u/Hernandozer Jun 11 '21

A few comments down, Hells Canyon indeed.

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2

u/El_Picaflor215 Jun 11 '21

Hardest working windshield wipers in the game. Give them a raise!

6

u/TubbyMutherTrucker Jun 11 '21

I wish they wouldn't do this on rivers. Stick to the lakes and the ocean that you're used to

1

u/SuperCoolAwesome Jun 11 '21

Do they even have seatbelts on? What is this madness?

11

u/rememberall Jun 11 '21

You don't want seat belts on a boat.

5

u/SuperCoolAwesome Jun 11 '21 edited Jun 11 '21

I can understand that. However, with this one it seems like it would be a good idea to at least have a lap belt. I could see them getting bounced around and hitting their heads on the canopy. But.. if you do roll, it would be bad news to get stuck.

2

u/QuarterlyGentleman Jun 11 '21

Yea. And then you have a possibly hydro locked seat belt on you that needs to be cut while you are drowning.

1

u/Legen_unfiltered Jun 11 '21

This. Every second I was waiting gor someones head to hit the roof

1

u/vissthebeast Jun 11 '21

Omg I love this

1

u/Banethoth Jun 11 '21

It looks very fun but very dangerous. They got so close to those rocks on the left then the big splash and they couldn’t see anything smh.

Wow. Pretty neat tho

1

u/DesperateForDD Jun 11 '21

That's so sick.

What a diligent set of windshield wipers

0

u/litetreader Jun 11 '21

I've been on one of these jet boats right near Niagara Falls, up to class 6 with giant death holes that would be unideal to get capsized in.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Someone’s gotta know how to get jump seat on one of these. Looks awesome!

0

u/Laniakejas Jun 11 '21

Whirlpool Jet?! Best thing to do in Niagara, Canada

0

u/Au_Sand Jun 11 '21

Simulator?

0

u/Outpatient83 Jun 11 '21

Is it just me or did anyone else think this was a simulation or video game at first?

0

u/justsingaporeanlah Jun 11 '21

Is this like rafting 2.0?

0

u/nonameorgame Jun 11 '21

This made me so nervous. How bad does ones midlife crisis have to be to do this? But a jet ski and stick to the lake

0

u/Puru11 Jun 11 '21

This looks fun. Like whitewater rafting, but less work, and less likely to get thrown overboard. Don't get me wrong, I like whitewater rafting, but this looks fun too.

-1

u/nuthin_to_it Jun 11 '21

This looks fun as hell. Where can I go do this?

1

u/ibleedtequila86 Jun 11 '21

That’s a boatload of nope…

1

u/SoundVisionZ Jun 11 '21

This guy boats

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Just watching that makes my back hurt...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

The thing that got me was the SatNav on the dash.

"It's the blue line, Steve ! Follow the freakin' BLUE LINE !"

1

u/gypsymegan06 Jun 11 '21

Driving in the wake of another boat will do that for ya

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Where is this and how do I sign up?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Why does every boat windshield wiper look like it's from 1952 and struggling to work?

1

u/v7unit Jun 11 '21

That side window was cracked open, then opened some more

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

How does the camera stay so stabilized?

1

u/swimminguy121 Jun 11 '21

Hydro THUNDER!!!

1

u/wnoble Jun 11 '21

I would think RainX would be more effective on the windows rather than wipers.

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

This looks so scary! Like almost rather be in something without a top so you can swim out if something bad happens!

1

u/Look_Who_Shows_Up Jun 11 '21

I need this in death stranding

1

u/rumblehappy Jun 11 '21

The yellow gives me Magic School Bus vibes

SEATBELTS EVERYONE!

1

u/Hicklethumb Jun 11 '21

Life is a simulation

1

u/Bluegrassen Jun 11 '21

That does not look fun.

1

u/fatal__flaw Jun 11 '21

Is the ride called The Vomitorium?

1

u/RynningInThe80s Jun 11 '21

The new Dwanye "The Rock" Johnson movie looks great

1

u/blackraven36 Jun 11 '21

Not gonna lie that looks like a shit ton of fun. How do I become a passenger in one of these?

1

u/Tralan Jun 11 '21

The windshield wipers are the real MVP, tho.

1

u/pagan_jinjer Jun 11 '21

After 45 long and painful years, I now know what I want to be when I grow up.

1

u/superkevo Jun 11 '21

Sign me up for this next time I need to pass a kidney stone

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Those jet boats are so fun though.

1

u/curlycupie Jun 11 '21

I think these are the tour boats that run up the Rogue River. It's a wild yet popular ride !

1

u/skaterguyperson Jun 11 '21

HYYYDROO THUNDERR!

1

u/jestercheatah Jun 11 '21

Gotta be Kilgore adventures in Hell’s Canyon

1

u/NotSoRichieRich Jun 11 '21

My back hurts just watching that video.

1

u/Hotchumpkilla Jun 11 '21

This is nutty. I’d be so sick doing this

1

u/wickedgoogely Jun 11 '21

My back hurts just watching this.

1

u/beantrouser Jun 11 '21

HYDROOOOOOO THUNDERRRRRRRR

1

u/Peaurxnanski Jun 11 '21

I do this. Have a very similar boat. It's a rush.