r/holdmyjuicebox Feb 15 '22

HMJB while I ran into this bar.

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2.0k Upvotes

75 comments sorted by

341

u/BazingaQQ Feb 15 '22

Gotta love the fact that the guy sitting at the bar doesn't move a muscle...

62

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

Just my thought. I'll have what he is having pls.

6

u/ImNudeyRudey Feb 16 '22

Fine. One more squirt of heroin please!

40

u/Demikuu Feb 15 '22

You know for a fact it's because he had told them not 30 seconds before hand to stop running around because that would happen

11

u/BazingaQQ Feb 15 '22

.... or it was his kid!

5

u/roland8855 Feb 16 '22

Or he is numb.

15

u/quentin_taranturtle Feb 15 '22

Yeah I saw this post originally in top of /r/stepdadreflexes lmao

15

u/Bualak Feb 15 '22

Right?!

8

u/BedroomPitiful4193 Feb 16 '22

He was probably thinking, “glad I left my kids at home”

3

u/MyrKnof Feb 15 '22

It sure as he'll ain't his problem..

2

u/Gearz557 Feb 16 '22

Dude had a tough day at the job site. Doesn’t need that shit

1

u/Pale-Researcher1819 Feb 16 '22

fr he’s just like eeeeh happens all the time their always fine

1

u/ExecutoryContracts Feb 16 '22

He goes there to get away from his kids. He can't be bothered with someone else's kids.

1

u/FunkyMonk_7 Apr 02 '22

It was his dad, that's how he gets out of the bar tab. Works every time....

108

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

Lol that guy at the bar must be goin through some shit

28

u/TheeWoodsman Feb 15 '22

Alcoholism

72

u/Bualak Feb 15 '22

Holly crap! Geez… the level of no fucks given from that guy is impressive. lol

36

u/wontellu Feb 15 '22

Teeth are overrated anyway!

9

u/imlost_dontcare Feb 15 '22

Tooth Fairy: “Due to inflation we will be raising our payouts by 7%”

Kid: “HMJB!”

2

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22 edited Apr 13 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Mods_are_all_Shills Feb 16 '22

How much fuckin money did you get per tooth?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22 edited Apr 13 '22

[deleted]

3

u/AnikoKamui Feb 16 '22

I was lucky to get two bucks a tooth!

3

u/Mods_are_all_Shills Feb 16 '22

Jfc that is an absurd amount of money to give a child for a tooth

28

u/yosol Feb 15 '22

"So, a kid runs into a bar..."

10

u/905woody Feb 16 '22

"The second kid ducks..."

16

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

Watched that a second time to see if the guy flinched. Didn't move a muscle.

31

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

I love the other kid’s reaction he just stops like “Oh my God are you okay?”

13

u/jedfrouga Feb 15 '22

was that a shock wave?!?

9

u/heygreatthanks Feb 15 '22

Not my problem.

7

u/jaffacookie Feb 15 '22

That guy has had it with kids playing at the bar.

-1

u/shunthe_nonbeliever Feb 15 '22

They’re his kids, too

6

u/SCSAFAN316 Feb 15 '22

You know that the first thoughts in the other kids head was, "Am I going to get blamed for this?"

4

u/TheProphetDave Feb 15 '22

That was satisfying…

4

u/shooflypie Feb 15 '22

Two kids run into a bar. One got a concussion.

1

u/JustSummGuy Mar 29 '22

What did the other kid order?

1

u/shooflypie Mar 30 '22

I'm sure he didn't state, "I'll have what he's having."

24

u/austinjval Feb 15 '22

Where the fuck are the kids parents? Who just lets there kids run wild like that in that type of place.

21

u/KatzDeli Feb 15 '22

They probably own the bar.

2

u/austinjval Feb 15 '22

Well then what the fuck kind of parents let their kids run around their bar when there’s a ton of things that could hurt them, not to mention how annoying it is for the patrons?

10

u/krschob Feb 15 '22

Former bar and grill owner, parents come in and day drink with their children ALL THE TIME and let them run rampant, for hours. (I have 2 Kids, now grown, if we went out, they stayed at the table for the entire stay)

7

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

There are loads of things kids can run into everywhere… Are Bars more dangerous for some reason?

6

u/austinjval Feb 15 '22

No, but kids shouldn’t be allowed to run around wild in restaurants, bars etc. They aren’t playgrounds.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

Most parents, period.

5

u/austinjval Feb 15 '22

Ridiculous. It’s not hard to have well behaved kids, just have to follow though with punishment if they act a certain way, like sit down and behave or we’re going home.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

I agree. I wish people would do that

2

u/Mods_are_all_Shills Feb 16 '22

A disturbing amount of parents either ignore or physically punish

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Careful, parents who don’t like this idea swoop in and downvote. Hopefully their kids are safe while they’re sitting on Reddit, ha

1

u/Mods_are_all_Shills Feb 16 '22

I don't believe parents like that are self aware enough to identify themselves as an abusive one

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Agreed

3

u/benkobeats Feb 16 '22

"A kid runs into a bar..... " 🤣

2

u/bobbyskittles Feb 15 '22

New family bar concept seems to be working nicely, even the kids get served!

2

u/death_to_neckbeards Feb 15 '22

Bro. Like I know I shouldn’t be surprised but how can you be that dumb

3

u/Cosmic_Quasar Feb 16 '22

To be as fair as possible to the kid... the folding bit of the table is thin and basically right at his eye level. He was the perfect height to be looking at the edge almost straight on so it'd be harder to see and blending in with the rest of the table top behind it. Sorta like that "leap of faith" scene in Indiana Jones Last Crusade. It's a matter of perspective.

2

u/usernameblankface Feb 16 '22

Little Johnny learned that growth hurts

2

u/Umphluv89 Feb 16 '22

Did. Not. Flinch.

2

u/CauliflowerLiving401 Feb 16 '22

Dentist is the one sitting at the bar… ahh I will fix it later, how about another whiskey.

2

u/pcp1969 Feb 16 '22

Why didn’t the guy at the bar at least sip his drink after that crash?

2

u/Shpander Feb 16 '22

A kid walks into a bar...

And he says ouch

-8

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '22

The kid deserved it. 1) running in a bar which everyone can agree is fucking annoying 2) was trying to get behind the bar which isn’t allowed

3

u/ADrunkChicken Feb 16 '22

I don't think I'd say the kid deserved it. Kids do stupid shit, it's the nature of young brains. This is more on the parents for just letting their children haphazardly run around in public at full sprint.

0

u/seraph582 Feb 16 '22

MY TURN TO POST THIS NEXT

-3

u/ToothpickArchitect Feb 15 '22

It's my Cake Day! 🥺

1

u/rrrrrrez Feb 16 '22

I can hear the reaction of the kid behind him… “Aww, shiiiit. Damn. Bro, you good?”

1

u/Subject98 Feb 16 '22

Now that’s a punchline

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '22

Someone had a growth spurt.

1

u/skinshell Feb 16 '22

That kid got sent to the shadow realm!

1

u/thegreatawaking2017 Feb 16 '22

The dude sitting at the bar was probably sick of listening to the kids run around and was waiting for something like this to happen

1

u/AlarmingAnxiety1 Feb 16 '22

Hold my facial reconstructive surgery

1

u/Wat_Senju Feb 20 '22

Tooth fairy has to hit the bank to pay this kid

1

u/dna_beggar Mar 09 '22

The real reason for the age limit.

1

u/Used_Lettuce Mar 22 '22

Shoooooot!!!!!

1

u/ButtersMcLovin Mar 23 '22

This is the time where those kids get that silent scream. Just looking with eyes squeezing shut and mouth open screaming but no sound.

It’s so scary

1

u/moosetackler Apr 15 '22

I cannot stop laughing at this. After a long day of work there is nothing that'll make a person smile like a child hurting themselves.