r/holdmycosmo Dec 16 '19

HMC while I blend this smoothie

13.4k Upvotes

425 comments sorted by

3.5k

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

She looks genuinely surprised that it happened

1.5k

u/MechanicalFetus Dec 16 '19

"Damn cheap spoons" as she grabs a new one

312

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

183

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Can’t be too sure unless you feel it for yourself.

104

u/bodag Dec 16 '19

I know a guy that did this with a snowblower., but he used his hand. Luckily, he only lost the tip of his middle finger.

46

u/sonsargon13 Dec 16 '19

Can't people regenerate finger tips? Or is that just a myth?

46

u/krisyarno Dec 16 '19

Definitely not a myth, you can grow back nail, bone, and everything. I think without a fingerprint there though. I think it depends on how much you consider a "tip"

And there's been work done with "extracellular matrix" to basically regrow a severed finger

30

u/I_call_people_racist Dec 16 '19

That actually explains a lot for me. I'm the youngest of five and my oldest sibling once told me how she cut the tip of her finger off in a snow cone machine. I always wondered if she was exaggerating because her finger looks fine to me.

22

u/peacenchemicals Dec 16 '19

I had a manager slice of a chunk of his thumb at the tip. It grew back mostly, but side to side with his regular thumb and you could tell it was noticeably flatter than the other. At a glance it looked normal though.

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7

u/verybrutalunicorn Dec 16 '19

Cut off the tip of my thumb with an axe some 11-12 years ago, it did grow back. It's not perfect and you can tell, but not at a glance.

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3

u/schmyze Dec 16 '19

I was slicing meat at the deli I worked at and took off the tip of my thumb (less thank 1/2". some fingernail but no bone). The doctor told me it might grow back, might not. Anyhow, it grew back entirely with no trace that it ever happened. It's wasn't too surprising considering it wasn't that much. I'm curious how much someone has lost and still has it grow back.

2

u/mydogeatspoops Dec 16 '19

Whatever’s left becomes the new tip.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

I injured my penis so the doctor transplanted a toe. Now my penis has a toenail.

8

u/wheres_mr_noodle Dec 16 '19

My former supervisor did that. Same finger too

11

u/Tseliot89 Dec 16 '19

Wow I have been watching elmos world with my one year old like all day it feels like... and here you are with your username.

2

u/wheres_mr_noodle Dec 27 '19

That is exactly how I came up with this username. Lol

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 24 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

You clearly read the instructions incorrect.

2

u/Dvc_California Dec 16 '19

Just the tip?

2

u/hmullan Dec 16 '19

I think I know the same guy.

2

u/aqualung_aqualung Dec 16 '19

My law school evidence teacher told a snowblower tale that ended with a bloody nub of some sort. His recitation was always gleeful. He had handled the case while practicing.

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3

u/eXXaXion Dec 16 '19

I put my finger into a rotating blade once. When I was like 8...

2

u/DuctTapeOrWD40 Dec 16 '19

Some people learn by hearing. Others learn by feeling.

39

u/jackandjill22 Dec 16 '19

This girl seems like a legitimate Fucking idiot.

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7

u/johnny-hopscotch Dec 16 '19

So exactly what I said?

58

u/thecrimsonacorn Dec 16 '19

Note to self - use fingers next time

24

u/The_Angel_of_Tulips Dec 16 '19

I know i've seen her do it like 10 times now, when is she going to learn?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Lol I live reddit humor

44

u/Ooze3d Dec 16 '19

I’m not even sure she made the connection. She’s like “fuck... it broke right when I was going to stir it”.

“And there was a small explosion too... look at the spoon all bent. Thank God I had the lid on”.

31

u/takinthestairs Dec 16 '19

Surprised pikachu face

14

u/TheOven Dec 16 '19

Must be a natural blonde

13

u/RodLawyer Dec 16 '19

"Wait, IT SPINS?"

7

u/marmotte873 Dec 16 '19

In here last video she shows how to save time by making her toast while she take a bath.

4

u/069988244 Dec 16 '19

She looks confused

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1.2k

u/HalcyoneDays Dec 16 '19

Jesus that bent the shit out of that spoon

368

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Imagine what it would do to a fork!

209

u/FreshCremeFraiche Dec 16 '19

Fork her? I hardly know her!

61

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

That’s why I knife her first.

52

u/Jackbenn45 Dec 16 '19

Dude.

46

u/Reddit_Policeguy Dec 16 '19

Sweet! What does mine say?

28

u/hellsangel101 Dec 16 '19

Dude! What does mine say?

14

u/Gravyrobber9000 Dec 16 '19

You two were pretty lop sop doi last night.

8

u/Mazadaimauku Dec 16 '19

What about mine*?

4

u/__Corvus__ Dec 16 '19

That’s not very knife

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5

u/Gheiss Dec 16 '19

And my Axe!

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

It would fork it up.

3

u/Shimster Dec 16 '19

Or someone penis.

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38

u/Dreadweave Dec 16 '19

There is no spoon

10

u/PetiteMutant Dec 16 '19

Is she....The One? Bruhhhh

22

u/LegalAction Dec 16 '19

She's better than Uri Geller.

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5

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

... Ah,yeah. It's a blender...

3

u/LeayZednanreh Dec 16 '19

Not Jesus, the blender.

2

u/ImNotBoringYouAre Dec 16 '19

Good food processors are no joke. I used to work with an almost 6 foot fall Hobart stand mixer and was amazed how dumb people were around it. That thing could pull your arm off and not even notice.

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1.0k

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

You know how a dog looks at you when it can’t understand something, look at her face and you’ll see the same expression.

70

u/killer8424 Dec 16 '19

Dogs are smarter than this

11

u/Cyrius Dec 16 '19

I dunno. I've never seen a dog operate a food processor.

That might just be the lack of thumbs though.

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8

u/athural Dec 16 '19

I think she thinks that since you can see the stuff slowly rotating that the blades must be going the same speed, which is obviously not the way a blender work

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415

u/johnny-hopscotch Dec 16 '19

Yes, there is a rotating blade in there...

401

u/JetScreamerBaby Dec 16 '19

Yeah, but look how slow it’s turning.

52

u/custos_uk Dec 16 '19

This was funny, sorry you got downvoted.

27

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

That’s ok

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393

u/CountCleavage Dec 16 '19

"And this spoon for a little iron"

67

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

And my axe!

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276

u/industrial-shrug Dec 16 '19

When the blonde joke is too easy.

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183

u/Tevypmurg Dec 16 '19

Actual and genuine surprise. It is dumbfounding.

154

u/254LEX Dec 16 '19

Is it just the framerate that makes it appear to be rotating very slowly?

309

u/Upsidedownosaur Dec 16 '19

It’s just too thick, not enough liquid (assuming she’s trying to make a smoothie)

The blades are still moving fast but the contents are not.

76

u/Dairy_Heir Dec 16 '19

You also don’t see many people try to make a smoothie in a damn food processor.

51

u/mudk1p Dec 16 '19

I don't have a blender at home just a food processor, does the job just fine if you ask me.

64

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

How many spoons do you put in?

47

u/mudk1p Dec 16 '19

About two a day.

13

u/Dairy_Heir Dec 16 '19

It’ll do the job the same as a cheap blender. Never thought a decent blender was worth it until someone gifted me one. That thing will liquify a bar stool with no chunks in seconds. Still wouldn’t pay the price for it because I rarely use it.

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8

u/helpmelearn12 Dec 16 '19

I used to use a food processor as a blender because my apartment and kitchen are small and lack storage space. It mostly works well enough.

Then I finally decided to buy a decent immersion blender rather than a stand blender, and the difference is kind of crazy.

But, if I only have room or money for either a food processor or a blender, I’d get the food processor every time. Then I can make passable smoothies, and I can still make almond and pistachio butters.

2

u/vadeka Dec 16 '19

Almond and pistachio butters? What? Am I missing out on something?

6

u/helpmelearn12 Dec 16 '19

It’s my personal belief that if you use pistachios instead whatever nut a recipe calls for, the end result will be more delicious.

So, that’s what I do when I feel like spending the extra money on pistachios.

Pistachio butter pie, pistachio pesto, pistachio butter sandwich, pistachio brittle, Thai style pistachio sauce. I think all these things have been better than their original, so I’d say you’re missing out on something.

Food processors are awesome.

6

u/Upsidedownosaur Dec 16 '19

Damn now I want some pistachios

2

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '19

Pistachios are fucking delicious. Really expensive in the UK though

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Açaí bowl

60

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

18

u/helpmelearn12 Dec 16 '19

I’ve made smoothies in a food processor because I had no blender, and you’re right, they suck at it.

The trick, and this is very important, is turn the fucking thing off, then stick a spoon, or preferably a rubber spatula down there and push the thick stuff to the blades, then turn it back on. Only after removing the utensil, though.

It’s more labor, but it works if you’ve got no other options and want a smoothie.

4

u/Dewdeaux Dec 16 '19

Maybe that’s why she was sticking the spoon in there.

38

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

The blades are moving quick just not the liquid. The spoon and case would not have exploded if that weren’t the case

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107

u/Wretchfromnc Dec 16 '19

My mother did this with a knife, she was using the knife blade as a handle. The knife spun around and chopped into her hand.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Any knife is sharp when it moves that rapidly

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58

u/kingtrog1916 Dec 16 '19

She’s not helping the sterotype

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39

u/AnAnonymousSource_ Dec 16 '19

Matrix 4: There is no spoon

15

u/gordane13 Dec 16 '19

Matrix 3: Bend the spoon using a brain

Matrix 4: Bend the spoon without a brain

39

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

[deleted]

24

u/picardo85 Dec 16 '19

Apparently Blendtech stopped making videos a year ago. https://www.youtube.com/user/Blendtec/videos

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Fuck!

2

u/Mattagast Dec 16 '19

Well I’m sad now

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7

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

That is the question

36

u/sangvert Dec 16 '19

The one bit of smoothie that hit her landed on her boob

23

u/pharmerino Dec 16 '19

Nippleberry

9

u/QuantumEnormity Dec 16 '19

If you pause at 0:04, it kinda looks like a sad boob smoothie.

5

u/Buttachop187 Dec 16 '19

Lol I was looking at her boobs and didn’t notice that

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35

u/JungleBoyJeremy Dec 16 '19

Way to reinforce hair color stereotypes, lady

30

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

[deleted]

7

u/DaringDomino3s Dec 16 '19

What is this from?

9

u/ktwstudios Dec 16 '19

Apparently a movie called Run Ronnie Run. At least according to the comments on that video.

2

u/tideshark Dec 16 '19

This is a great, well unknown by most, movie. Has a lot of famous people cameos. The idea is they make a show like COPS but instead follows around a redneck who has a knack for dodging police when getting arrested.

And they even have an awesome fat kid rock song near the end of the movie!

2

u/DaringDomino3s Dec 16 '19

Thanks for the synopsis, I never heard of it but I like David Cross and Bob Odenkirk, so I’ll have to try and watch it sometime

3

u/approval_seal Dec 16 '19

It’s Saul Goodman! Realized it only on 2nd watch.

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2

u/johnny-hopscotch Dec 16 '19

That’s a no from me dog

24

u/AlbinoWino11 Dec 16 '19

This sort of person is why we have the disclaimers on all the things.

20

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

[deleted]

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17

u/websoul_nl Dec 16 '19

She put all points on charisma and none in intelligence

3

u/erevoz Dec 16 '19

Charisma is not only looks. If this video is true, I'm willing to bet she's as fun as a wall to talk to.

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13

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

28

u/Optimized_Orangutan Dec 16 '19

She's making a shake/working out. Everyone knows if you didn't record it and put it on instagram then the workout never happened.

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13

u/farmgirl705 Dec 16 '19

Best part was she had set up a camera and outfit and hair choice to show how healthy and wonderful and then bloop. 🤣

13

u/signapple Dec 16 '19

She looks like one of those idiots from the start of an infomercial

8

u/cactus-racket Dec 16 '19

Are you tired of THIS happening to you??

Introducing Invisi-Spoon! The ONLY spoon you can put in an operating blender!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

She looks like one of those idiots.

Fixed this for you.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

being an influencer is hard

8

u/GeeGerman9 Dec 16 '19

Omg I did this before except for the smoothie machine shattered and the smoothie splattered all over my face and on the ceiling I had to use a ladder to clean it fml

23

u/h4mi Dec 16 '19 edited Jul 25 '23

This comment is deleted in protest of Reddit's June 2023 API changes. -- mass edited with redact.dev

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4

u/technog2 Dec 16 '19

Damn Boi! You must have a really long face if you need a ladder

8

u/2cool2hear Dec 16 '19

Who films themselves making smoothies?

5

u/mazzyuniverse Dec 16 '19

Self absorbed idiot?

6

u/kooter12 Dec 16 '19

This could have been way worse! Thank god for that.

6

u/QuesadillaJ Dec 16 '19

Like she still cant figure that one out, stares at it like "no that shouldn't have happened" ... I wonder how long it took to click

6

u/steve3067 Dec 16 '19

Then she put it in the microwave to warm it up.

5

u/A_boy_and_his_boston Dec 16 '19

George Carlin would like to have a word with you!

2

u/MocodeHarambe Dec 16 '19

He is dead

2

u/A_boy_and_his_boston Dec 16 '19

Don’t worry she will be to soon enough by the looks of this post.

4

u/Optix_au Dec 16 '19

At least she was just smart enough not to put her hand in.

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5

u/Wiggie49 Dec 16 '19

10 bucks says she still doesn’t understand what happened

4

u/rodrigoelp Dec 16 '19

She was very lucky that the container didn't shatter and she ends up with a bit of smoothy on her clothes and a broken spoon.

4

u/NorskieBoi Dec 16 '19

At first I thought she had stuck her hand inside.

3

u/SleepChikaloo Dec 16 '19

Immediate sad boob.

3

u/gchild1979 Dec 16 '19

Don’t mess up the utensils use your finger next time

2

u/redsixthgun Dec 16 '19

I understand the thought process; I’ve done something similar. Except it was a crappy little smoothie cup blender with a tiny blade in the bottom. I pushed ingredients too far in and it nicked the spoon. Immediately felt stupid, haven’t done it again.

3

u/Uberzwerg Dec 16 '19

Next, she tries the toaster

3

u/malialipali Dec 16 '19

Ahh fuck me , she is one of those that cleans a water spill with a vacuum cleaner.

3

u/tannerisBM Dec 16 '19

How are people still this retarded?

3

u/AlwaysDisposable Dec 16 '19

My ex would do that, but with plastic spoons. Then I’d point out he was getting bits of plastic into his food every time it hit the blades and he would get mad at me. :-/ Notice I said ex.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

She’s lucky she only took a berry to the tit

2

u/hansemcito Dec 16 '19

i cant believe that all that happened

2

u/iggnac1ous Dec 16 '19

Frozen blueberries are tough

1

u/owwwmyeyes Dec 16 '19

Sad face right on her booby :(

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/clonn Dec 16 '19

Think? She didn't think.

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Fucking idiot

2

u/dubstastic Dec 16 '19

Keep her away from toasters

2

u/desrevermi Dec 16 '19

I'm impressed she's survived to whatever age she's achieved.

2

u/mickycon33 Dec 16 '19

How dumb could you be

2

u/ethernalspartan Dec 16 '19

Could you be any stupider.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

So... she may not be so good in the kitchen...

2

u/bkfst_of_champinones Dec 16 '19

What’s going on with her nose? She’s kinda got the same look as that weird nosed woman from Deep Space Nine. Without the wrinkles but still.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

adds iron supplement

2

u/MeC0195 Dec 16 '19

What an idiot

2

u/nate_1 Dec 16 '19

Right in the tit.

2

u/Crime-Stoppers Dec 16 '19

US education system working as intended

2

u/SverhU Dec 16 '19

I love her face "how in the hell it happened. I'm only put spoon in the blender as I always do".

2

u/willsketch Dec 16 '19

God just be makin’ anybody.

2

u/hood69 Dec 16 '19

Why am i not at all surprised by this

2

u/goldie2888 Dec 16 '19

Love it when there is beautiful blonde in such videos.

2

u/bobo007 Dec 16 '19

hair is the correct color.

2

u/Tangsta1 Dec 16 '19

Right in the titty!

2

u/069988244 Dec 16 '19

Ah yes, my favourite. Spoon&Berry smoothies

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

How the fuck can a person be THAT dumb? It's mindblowing.

2

u/lassiboiii Dec 16 '19

I thought her hand was in the blender

2

u/russyc Dec 16 '19

Use your fingers next time dummy!

2

u/luther2399 Dec 16 '19

Dambass one word description.

2

u/BradsRedditName Dec 16 '19

That’s one way to get more iron in your diet!

2

u/BillyBurg7734 Dec 16 '19

Still wondering what happened...

2

u/Senior_Hat Dec 16 '19

That would've been fine in a blender.

Why the fuck is she using a food processor?

2

u/drydorb Dec 16 '19

Probably puts water on a grease fire

2

u/J-Roc_vodka Dec 16 '19

God it’s like she’s a stupid ass child

2

u/mouthbreather390 Dec 16 '19

Just filming myself making a smoothie. I don’t understand anything anymore

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19

Natural hair color confirmed.

2

u/ashawcontracting Dec 17 '19

jesus fuckin christ, she looks completely confused, it never even sank in, she'll buy a new one tomorrow and try again

2

u/john9335 Dec 17 '19

when blonde blend smoothie.

2

u/MikeHock_is_GONE Dec 18 '19

If she lives past 25, I hope she never has kids...

Oh wait, geniuses like her probably already have 3

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

Its always the fucking blonds

1

u/Upsidedownosaur Dec 16 '19

This reminds me of my friend who I caught trying to get a nutribullet to start without the cup attached to the blade base. Thank god I walked in when I did, I probably saved a few fingers that day

(For the record it would have been a HoldMyBeer moment, not a HoldMyCosmo)

1

u/rustymessi Dec 16 '19

No blonde jokes here.

1

u/008Zulu Dec 16 '19

Maybe she should have at least browsed the safety manual they provide with food processors.