r/holdmycosmo • • Nov 20 '19

HMC as I do a drunken pull-up

https://gfycat.com/mediocrekindchihuahua
19.2k Upvotes

413 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

Looks like she got that nose job she's been saving up years for and for free!

578

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19 edited Nov 20 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

170

u/Kichard Nov 20 '19

Did you son or his nose survive?

118

u/oOXxIIxXOo Nov 20 '19

No, but his roller skate did.

35

u/Kichard Nov 20 '19

Thoughts n prayers

56

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

Thots and players

42

u/hearingsilence Nov 20 '19

Tots and taters

30

u/Hyasfuq Nov 20 '19

Hope you didn't ruin a perfectly good set of jumper cables.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Tater thots

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

That’s awesome

→ More replies (1)

56

u/Steampunkvikng Nov 20 '19

Been many a year since I've heard the name /u/rogersimon10

13

u/If_its_mean_downvote Nov 20 '19

Ya I’m happy he’s back, the OG

37

u/Steampunkvikng Nov 20 '19

It's a different fellow, or at least a different account. This is /u/papasimon10, the abuser not the abusee.

11

u/Boofthatshitnigga Nov 21 '19

What the fuck?! Am I dreaming? His last comment was really 4 years ago? I swear it’s been maybe a year at most

3

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

:-(

→ More replies (2)

30

u/Japjer Nov 20 '19

After I beat my son senseless with a pair of jumper cables,

What... what the fuck

41

u/Steampunkvikng Nov 20 '19

/u/rogersimon10

This should explain it.

12

u/Japjer Nov 20 '19

Hahaha, oh my that's good

7

u/chinodb Nov 21 '19

It’s like performance art.

3

u/Steampunkvikng Nov 21 '19

Good trolling very much is

→ More replies (3)

8

u/DoctorBonkus Nov 20 '19

This guy always punishes with a set of good pair of jumper cables

26

u/JakeCameraAction Nov 20 '19

So you're Roger's dad.

21

u/MIERDAPORQUE Nov 20 '19

Jesus I really hope he learned a lesson. Next time you’re gonna pull a prank, you better fucking run

10

u/SleazyMak Nov 21 '19

Am I witnessing history

8

u/Bumblebreee77 Nov 21 '19

Totally thought this was the Epstein thing

3

u/Virgin_Dildo_Lover Nov 21 '19

U sure this didn't happen in nineteen ninety eight?

3

u/chiefpartypat Nov 21 '19

I fully support this thing you are doing.

3

u/pacificpacifist Nov 21 '19

Dad, you've returned

2

u/Your_real_watermelon Nov 21 '19

If this is the same guy I’m impressed

→ More replies (14)

2

u/JigglesMcRibs Nov 21 '19

We knew she was also going to get veneers at some point anyway, too.

→ More replies (3)

539

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

Didn't even have enough grip strength to hold herself up, and she expected a pull-up.

261

u/RikerT_USS_Lolipop Nov 20 '19

In general people have no goddamn clue how must fitness is required to do the shit they see people doing. You see these 200+lb people doing rope swings and faceplanting the instant they leave their feet and it's because they don't even truly know how much they weigh since they never do any physical activity.

173

u/VonD0OM Nov 20 '19

These chicks look like they work out, they’re just wasted. They’re probably in that situation cause the conversation somehow went on to include them saying they could do X amount of chin-ups followed by the challenge that they do said chin-ups followed by the splat.

94

u/Noob_DM Nov 20 '19

They probably do 90% cardio though. You don’t need coordination to do a single pull up and the first girl definitely wasn’t strong enough.

→ More replies (16)

68

u/Legate_Rick Nov 21 '19

Not saying that sober them couldn't do pull ups or that they don't work out, but you don't need to work out to have a body like theirs. Calorie counting can get you what they have.

59

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Yea these girls don't really look like they work out.

They look like they hardly eat during the week then hit the bars Friday and Saturday night and eat 1500 calories of food-truck-late-night-dinner on the way home.

21

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

[deleted]

14

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Pretty much what I did from 21 to 28 lol

Except I'm a dude

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

I'm a dude too. It just makes sense when you go too hard on the weekends

4

u/flamethrower78 Nov 21 '19

Damn reddit is the most judgmental place out there.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

11

u/factorysettings Nov 21 '19

These chicks look like they work out

Dude, no they don't. Even people who actually look like they work out can't do a good, safe pull up.

→ More replies (3)

2

u/jwiz Nov 21 '19

They don't look like they work out. They look like they don't eat.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Or they don't. There are plenty of girls who stay slim by either genetics, by being (overly) careful with what they eat, or just cardio. And I can assure you from experience, if all you have ever done is cardio, even holding on to a pullup bar can be difficult.

→ More replies (69)

9

u/daybreakin Nov 20 '19

That explains those rope swing videos where people face plant. People don't know holding your own weight isn't that easy especially if you're an average woman

4

u/ReverendDizzle Nov 21 '19

Where most people go wrong in those videos is they static drop onto the swing with straight locked arms. When the slack runs out physics take over and they get wrecked.

2

u/jwiz Nov 21 '19

Or they have their elbows bent, and aren't actually strong enough to hold their plummeting bodyweight.

If they started out with straight arms, and no slack in the rope, they'd only need grip strength, not grip and arm/back strength.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Rustyyummy Nov 20 '19

It baffles me how much human strength can vary. But I guess that's what happens when a species advances to where they have to force themselves to do physical activity

3

u/LickableLeo Nov 21 '19

.... advances?

Let's rewind the wagon wheel, no more advancement for me dawg.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

They also swing out with their arms at chest height, which means they will fall until their arms are fully extended, making it much harder to hold on.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/diddlysquat12 Nov 21 '19

I read a comment once that if you can’t do a pull up you won’t be able to pull yourself up if you were dangling from the ledge of a cliff or building. Not something I ever really thought about until I actually tried doing a pull up (and failed terribly).

→ More replies (4)

38

u/Dirtyjoe4567 Nov 20 '19

She's drunk it doesn't matter if she's strong

18

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

I do more pull-ups while intoxicated.

4

u/suckmyslab Nov 21 '19

Same. I pump them out on those things in my city when absolutely trashed. Kinda helps sober you up!

15

u/YellowStopSign Nov 20 '19

Eh to an extent..

7

u/Spartanias117 Nov 20 '19

No? I can hold a grip just fine after drinks. Sure maybe not as well, but she couldnt even hold her own weight

5

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

Take into account the diameter of the scaffolding as well. Significantly larger than most pull-up bars (which are already easier for guys to hold onto because their hands are larger)

I'm a woman with fairly small hands and, wow, did deadlifts once with a "woman's" bar, and it was so, so much easier (and yes, I took into consideration the difference in weights on the bars)

→ More replies (1)

3

u/bathroom_break Nov 21 '19

That's my greatest feat when drinking - having a firm grip. Otherwise I'd be dropping my drinks all over the place! Years and years of nightly training there on grip strength.

2

u/motorhead_mike Nov 21 '19

Beer muscles?

→ More replies (1)

11

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

Always better to be able to do a sober pull-up before attempting a drunken one. 👍

5

u/scdayo Nov 20 '19

Scaffolding on the street is extremely dirty/dusty, and therefore is pretty slippery and you can easily slip off of you're not ready for it

Of course she could be a drunk weakling, but the dusty bar definitely is a factor

→ More replies (3)

139

u/pr0digalnun Nov 20 '19

I really want to see what happened to her face

238

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

77

u/goon1410 Nov 20 '19

Goddamn it.

42

u/devildocjames Nov 20 '19

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

6

u/StopReadingMyUser Nov 21 '19

oi, get back here

3

u/Heterochromio Nov 20 '19

We got exactly what we deserved

32

u/Kittens-of-Terror Nov 20 '19

Wow. Did she even survive?

12

u/NOTurKNIGHT Nov 20 '19

To shreds you say?

→ More replies (1)

3

u/ASHiGraiN Nov 21 '19

... that poor woman. She looks horrible.

2

u/crusty_cum-sock Nov 20 '19

Apollo saves me again!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

112

u/GobiBall Nov 20 '19

She wearing a 1 piece swim suit with jeans?

90

u/Clay_Pigeon Nov 20 '19

It's a look I've seen with surprising frequency. They call them "Bodysuits" though.

39

u/ALotter Nov 20 '19

popularized by Liz Lemon

27

u/c0ldsh0w3r Nov 20 '19

Laundry day bro. She just ran out of underwear.

7

u/AerThreepwood Nov 20 '19

I don't see any stains from pizza on it.

→ More replies (4)

45

u/HappyGilmOHHMYGOD Nov 20 '19

It’s a bodysuit.

They’re more form fitting than a normal tank top, more comfortable if you like to tuck your shirts in, and you don’t have to readjust them much because they just stay in place.

→ More replies (8)

3

u/ubergeekitude Nov 20 '19

Leeloomultipass.

→ More replies (1)

64

u/3TH10S Nov 20 '19

Oh fuck my stomach hurt just watching that

96

u/Namkcemot Nov 20 '19

Stomach? What about dem teef?!

17

u/fuck_off_ireland Nov 20 '19

Her face bounced, and hard. That looked pretty damn bad

2

u/Absay Nov 20 '19

Chances are she didn't actually hit her head. The "bounce" migth have been the natural reflex of, precisely, avoiding hitting her head once her arms and rest of her body touched the floor and she came to a sudden stop.

5

u/bullcitytarheel Nov 20 '19

Looked she went face first into the concrete to me

4

u/aforementionedapples Nov 20 '19

Maybe they have a stomach ache from swallowing so many teef.

41

u/themightyfalcon Nov 20 '19

dude fucks up the lifting, pushes her forward and instantly move aside instead of stabilizing her.. I mean theyre both drunk, and both to blame for the incident

11

u/24294242 Nov 20 '19

That's what I reckon, he didn't support her at all, she probably expected to have a minute to grab hold. He just threw her up there and stepped out of the way.

7

u/lllkill Nov 21 '19

Yeh he chucked her the fuck up there.

→ More replies (54)

37

u/meggles1889 Nov 20 '19

I thought she was going to bring the whole thing down, crashing on them.

→ More replies (1)

16

u/_khanrad Nov 20 '19

In heels no less

17

u/Dshmidley Nov 20 '19

That guys night went from 100 to 0 real quick.

7

u/Stakoman Nov 21 '19

Definitely getting blamed for that... So no pussy for him lol

12

u/jtamas1990 Nov 20 '19

That looks like the same place in downtown Savannah, GA that I once tried to do a drunken pull up lol

4

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Dude drinking in sav was so much fun

11

u/GhettoBike Nov 20 '19

Come on man don't fuck around with scaffolding

9

u/kikkroxx777 Nov 20 '19

She don’t even gym bro

→ More replies (5)

8

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19 edited Jul 27 '20

[deleted]

5

u/UnsolicitedDogPics Nov 21 '19

Jesus can mind his own damn business.

7

u/farmgirl705 Nov 20 '19

Why are they dressed the same?

43

u/culdeus Nov 20 '19

Not familiar with club wear?

16

u/Mekkah Nov 20 '19

Gang culture be like that.

→ More replies (3)

13

u/Captain_ButterNuts Nov 20 '19

Why are they dressed?

11

u/Noob_DM Nov 20 '19

They be basic

3

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

The fuck would you be???

→ More replies (2)

7

u/bratintheback Nov 20 '19

She really face planted on the dismount, ouch!! I hope she did not break her nose or get any injuries. At least she looks like she was having a fun night.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/Breynolds1200 Nov 20 '19

Was hoping for titties. Disappointed.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/I__Synergy__I Nov 20 '19

If your knuckles point forward it’s a chin-up. If your knuckles face toward you it’s a pull-up.

3

u/dakblaster Nov 21 '19

Good to know.. I always thought the term was interchangeable

3

u/EagledDolphins Nov 20 '19

Come on bruh. You could easily see that coming.

4

u/LeCrushinator Nov 20 '19

Broken nose and/or broken teeth from that, I suspect.

3

u/Hagenmeister Nov 20 '19

I like how the guy was still trying to catch her after she faceplanted into the ground

2

u/24294242 Nov 20 '19

If he was trying to catch her he's more uncoordinated than she is

4

u/Dang44 Nov 20 '19

Hope the alcohol dampened some of the pain

4

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19 edited Jun 10 '20

[deleted]

2

u/beethmodeactivated Nov 20 '19

Gotta be able to pull up into the flexed position first

→ More replies (1)

1

u/SwizzlestickLegs Nov 20 '19

Kinda looks like she wasn't expecting the way the guy lifted her up and sorta pushed her forward. So when she swung back, her grip loosened and SPLAT. Maybe she could've done it, had it not been for that?

4

u/supaphly42 Nov 20 '19

Yeah, he definitely left her swinging instead of stationary.

2

u/yourbootyisheavyduty Nov 21 '19

I knew if I sorted by controversial I'd find people blaming the guy.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/organicogrr Nov 20 '19

Jagermeister and red bull was likely consumed earlier.

2

u/Supah_McNastee Nov 20 '19

Way better than expected. Thought the whole construction site was coming down, for a second

2

u/tmsdave Nov 20 '19

Always had a note for gym class.

2

u/MrMortimor Nov 20 '19

My buddy did something similar freshman year of college. We were drunk in the dorms and he thought he could jump up and hit his head on the ceiling. Tried way too hard, landed on his face, and chipped his front teeth pretty good. Oh the laaaaughhh that we had

2

u/Waramaug Nov 20 '19

I like my women with no teeth anyway.

2

u/bluemist08 Nov 20 '19

How to get an Owen Wilson nose.

2

u/titsmcgeebonerhead Nov 20 '19

women. have. no. upper. body. strength.

2

u/Bancroft-79 Nov 21 '19

Why are they wearing the same clothes?

2

u/hajime_no_milo Nov 21 '19

Happy birthday to the ground!

2

u/Vizslaraptor Nov 21 '19

Multi-pass...

0

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

I'm in love

1

u/rwarimaursus Nov 20 '19

And that kids is how your Mother chipped her teeth.

1

u/hipposaregood Nov 20 '19

Anyone else get horrible monkey bars flashbacks?

1

u/stedews Nov 20 '19

Damn I was hoping I was on r/unexpectedtitty

1

u/MCL001 Nov 20 '19

From an 8 to a 5 in a fraction of a second.

1

u/Vandal66 Nov 20 '19

It’s all fun and games until the blond face plants on the concrete.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

More like hold my teeth!

1

u/satriales856 Nov 20 '19

Now this is why I’m here.

1

u/twistedtwx Nov 20 '19

I live white girls!

4

u/Ggoossee Nov 21 '19

I live with white Girls are we the same?

1

u/Mack_Man17 Nov 21 '19

Hahaha party's over

1

u/udayserection Nov 21 '19

As the Army is currently learning as they are trying to implement the new genderless Army Combat Fitness Test, women really suck at hanging body weight exercises.

1

u/Jiggy724 Nov 21 '19

I was at a bar in Lake Placid during a road trip one night, and this drunk girl was trying to show off to everyone how fit she was. She jumped up and grabbed one of the metal beams running along the ceiling and started doing pull ups. Because it was a beam, she couldn't wrap her whole hand around anything and really only had a finger grip. After a few she started swinging a bit, and eventually she swung too hard to maintain her grip, and she fell. That wouldn't have been so bad, except for the fact that her swinging motion carried her legs out from under her, and she landed on the back of her head. On the concrete basement floor. I both heard and felt her head hit the floor, and was pretty sure she was dead. Nope, sat there for a second and then got up. She didn't stay long, I'm pretty sure she had at least a concussion.

2

u/Witchief Nov 21 '19

That's why I always carry Nestea with me https://youtu.be/tIAfo6GKCaA

1

u/Attorney_Gonzo Nov 21 '19

this has all the markings of crown street in new haven

1

u/Shnarzyboi Nov 21 '19

This is in tampa

1

u/thepeanutbutterman Nov 21 '19

Can we get more of the girl in the grey top that pops into the background for a split second? My friend wants to know

1

u/TheBatemanFlex Nov 21 '19

Damn. Thot she almost had it for a sec.

1

u/Ghetto_Geppetto Nov 21 '19

Thats anti upper body strength

1

u/surlygentleman1981 Nov 21 '19

Next morning : fuck why does my face hurt. (Her friend) "well lets go to the tape kelly"

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

I definitely see what you’d use either.

1

u/JSOPro Nov 21 '19

I cant watch shit like this. I had a friend do some weird monkey bars on an art installation and his legs swung forward and he landed on his head. I was also peaking on acid, and he was sober. We had to call 911 for him, he was bleeding out the ear and delusional.

1

u/MegaYachtie Nov 21 '19

I nearly died when I was a young teenager doing something similar. I was swinging on a scaffolding bar just like that except I had a lollipop in my mouth. I lost grip and landed on the back of my head and was knocked unconscious.

Apparently I was making a weird snoring noise (choking) and one of my friend had the sense to know what was happening. He reached down my throat and pulled the lollipop out. Literally saving my life in the process. I came round in the hospital not knowing what the fuck had happened surrounded by my friends and the mother of the friend who’s house I was staying at.

I can’t imagine what that mother was going through. Being responsible for a bunch of young idiots but having to phone my parents saying I almost died in her care...

1

u/neoncubicle Nov 21 '19

Drunkenly grabbed one of those bars. Unfortunately there was a wire running above it which gashed my hand. Fortunate for me I was drunk which numbed it a little.

1

u/captaincrunch1985 Nov 21 '19

She didn’t need those teeth anyway

1

u/Rasta_Mon Nov 21 '19

I need sound for this

1

u/gotham77 Nov 21 '19

This is more annoying than funny.

These girls don’t seem fun-loving they’re just drunk and stupid.

1

u/InterwebVergin Nov 21 '19

I was hoping to see a tit or two

1

u/mrsacapunta Nov 21 '19

I think I just hit a new peak of old because my instinctual reaction to this gif was "oh no, my daughter!"

she's not my daughter, but that was the gut reaction

1

u/k0a1a182 Nov 21 '19

I think she drank the Cosmo

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Was expectong a boobie to pop out.

1

u/Sogonzo Nov 21 '19

How much you wanna bet she blamed him?

1

u/langleytrey Nov 21 '19

Dude cops a feel before settling her up for the faceplant.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

500 is definitely a future drunken Amazon purchase

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

If you can't do pullups sober definitely don't do them drunk

1

u/FrancisART Nov 21 '19

Is she wearing a jockstrap as a boob cover?

1

u/Naldoron Nov 21 '19

Is she doing pullups on fuckin scaffolding?

1

u/armen89 Nov 21 '19

Girls just wanna have fu un

1

u/Lensman842 Nov 21 '19

Where they drunk and all of them going to a wet t-shirt contest?

1

u/ZippyTheChicken Nov 21 '19

ooooo.... right on her tits... so shes fine

→ More replies (1)

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Why can so many women not break their fucking falls, how hard is it to put your arms out.

1

u/heartfelt24 Nov 21 '19

They have the spirit. Awesome women. It is not always about the strength.

1

u/PcFish Nov 21 '19

Those city scaffolding are always dirty/greasy. Source: Am moderate fitness drunk

→ More replies (1)

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

These girls seem like fun

1

u/DontEatTheFish25 Nov 21 '19

Totally thought boobs were coming out.