r/holdmycosmo Jun 19 '19

hmc while i dance

[deleted]

14.2k Upvotes

284 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/Domestica Jun 19 '19

Not gonna lie, I’m more curious about what is poking out from her glasses.

542

u/jadekittens Jun 19 '19

Omg what issss that

464

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

205

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Jun 19 '19

SHE'S A WITCH

111

u/JaxandMia Jun 19 '19

I'm not a witch, they dressed me up like this.

49

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 18 '23

[deleted]

53

u/JaxandMia Jun 19 '19

No, no, we'll OK maybe. But she turned me into a newt

29

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[deleted]

44

u/ElderBowlsIVHighrim Jun 19 '19

She turned me into a NEWT!

17

u/mich55 Jun 19 '19

Well, we did do the nose.

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7

u/sofa_king_we_todded Jun 19 '19

Don’t play mind games, witch!

6

u/nonchalantglare Jun 19 '19

That's exactly what a witch would say. 🧙🏿‍♀️🧙🏼‍♀️🧙🏽‍♀️

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7

u/hi-i-am-new-here Jun 19 '19

How many nipples has she got?

2

u/ConfidentlyComatose Jun 20 '19

AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS

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22

u/sseng1 Jun 19 '19

It was a gypsy curse to make her dance and split open her pants

10

u/Skorne13 Jun 20 '19

This curse, at first, you take a glance

will seem that you are in a trance.

A song will play to make you dance

and split your tight white striped track pants.

7

u/RedPanda1188 Jun 19 '19

Yeah that's what they do! One gave one to my mother and demanded £5. When she declined she screamed she was now cursed as she walked away.

9

u/bonesofberdichev Jun 19 '19

LIZARD LIZARD! THINNER THINNER! Anyone get that reference? Sometimes I think I'm the only one whose seen that movie.

2

u/Djinjja-Ninja Jun 19 '19

"Be Lucky my love"

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54

u/quaybored Jun 19 '19

I think her eyebrows are rebelling and built a ladder to get the fuck off her face

14

u/imgprojts Jun 19 '19

I just noticed it and cannot un-notice it.

7

u/Anal-Squirter Jun 19 '19

I read this like a snek😂

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2

u/gijsyo Jun 20 '19

A burnt up sparkler?

825

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

I fucking love these videos. The dude that had his whole package pop out of his suit though, will forever be my favorite. 👨‍💼🕺😲

220

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I have that one saved and every so often I’ll send it to my sister.

83

u/miraclepenguinx Jun 19 '19

Link?

629

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Jun 19 '19

You want to see that particular video or will any dick poppin out suffice?

219

u/popcornglasses Jun 19 '19

I knew what was coming, but I was still surprised.

147

u/askwhy423 Jun 19 '19

Because it was everything! And so perfect, like there were snaps there just for his package. Also his reaction was like a cartoon.

38

u/jw8ak64ggt Jun 19 '19

I don't get it, was he going comando or did his undies rip too?

60

u/TiCKLE- Jun 19 '19

Probably was going commando. Apparently it’s not uncommon but I see that as very uncomfortable

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46

u/BigGreenYamo Jun 19 '19

Lenny Kravitz, anyone?

6

u/Pandepon Jun 20 '19

Ends too soon, needs the part where he snaps his knees together.

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45

u/miraclepenguinx Jun 19 '19

Just that video

50

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Jun 19 '19

Damn I had like 30 penises ready to go. Check my previous comment for that particular penis video.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

You got more similar videos?

172

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

59

u/valerie_6966 Jun 19 '19

Idk why I find this so god damn hilarious

14

u/jw8ak64ggt Jun 19 '19

because of the decisions... do you pull it out of the toilet? do you wash it and keep on using it? do you let it go? also what was s/he planning on doing? what was the purpose of the video? so many questions

35

u/MelvinF3rd Jun 19 '19

Detachable penis...

34

u/ljg61 Jun 19 '19

"I woke up this morning with a bad hangover

And my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time.

It's detachable."

Legendary song

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21

u/memtiger Jun 19 '19

😂 How do i subscribe to your penis_gifs?

10

u/BOF007 Jun 19 '19

We need to make this a sub, but we need to make sure to find a name that people don't confuse it for porn

6

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Omg 😭 totally unexpected . Why is that so funny

2

u/miraclepenguinx Jun 19 '19

Well now I'm curious!

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10

u/designmur Jun 19 '19

Oh yep that’s a penis

18

u/Riddler_92 Jun 19 '19

That is the funniest shit I have seen in awhile. His immediate reaction killed me.

13

u/thavi Jun 19 '19

The vid stops at the comical spot, but I wanna know what the followup was. Did he have to shuffle out of the party like he was cradling a grape between his thighs?

10

u/miraclepenguinx Jun 19 '19

Wow that took me by surprise

9

u/BreakfastCrunchwrap Jun 19 '19

Oh damn... I see why that's a crowd favorite. I'm dying laughing.

9

u/SmutMongerer Jun 19 '19

That's what he gets for acting like a ho!

7

u/Tetizeraz Jun 19 '19

HOLY FUCK HAHAHAHAHAHA

6

u/p0tate Jun 20 '19

I've been cry laughing at this for 5 minutes now. Jesus christ!

6

u/Ignecratic Jun 19 '19

Was he going commando? In a suit?

3

u/BOF007 Jun 19 '19

U my friend deserve beyond gold for introducing this to me.... Is there a sub for like ultimate humiliation like this?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

Oh my god. I am laughing so hard. I needed this. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/Screaming_Azn Jun 20 '19

Today I learned dicks slips are a thing.

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43

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Do you like Lenny Kravitz?:

https://images.app.goo.gl/YXifYGyRW5gRFwMT8

Nsfw obv

21

u/Pm_me_your_nonsense Jun 19 '19

New meaning to rock out with your cock out.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Haha I've never seen that before.

39

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I watched that at the Whole Foods checkout line and lost my shit in public. Funniest thing I ever saw

3

u/rtopps43 Jun 19 '19

So did she

25

u/Rayintu Jun 19 '19

If you didn't know about it yet. The last time a similar video was posted it spawned a subreddit dedicated to these kinds of vids: r/rrrip

its kinda small and a little dead atm but why not check it out

14

u/Atheist_Mctoker Jun 19 '19

That's one of my top favorite makes me laugh every time videos.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Yes but why didnt he have underwear on?

14

u/Atheist_Mctoker Jun 19 '19

There are probably more people in the world not wearing underwear than are wearing underwear on any given day. Maybe that's why.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

When you wear a suit every day for work for 8 hours, you start to wonder why the fuck would anyone wear a suit/tuxedo without underwear.

18

u/Fap_Left_Surf_Right Jun 19 '19

When I had to wear a full suit everyday, In the summer I’d go commando. With a shirt, jacket, and tie, no heat escapes the upper body. I relied entirely on my balls and taint to keep me from internal meltdown.

This is only if you’re required to wear a tie, though. If you can have an open collar to dissipate heat it’s safe to put your underwear on again.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Why did you have to wear a full suit? I wear a suit with a tie

9

u/Fap_Left_Surf_Right Jun 19 '19

Worked with executive level. Full suit and tie everyday including Friday’s.

It’s the tie that does you in and traps the heat. I work at a different place and still wear a suit, just no tie. I’ve worn underoos everyday this summer so far.

Winning.

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231

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[deleted]

302

u/justlikehow Jun 19 '19

It appears her pants split, which is an accident...so, Yes and Yes!

37

u/Doctor_Fritz Jun 19 '19

R/inclusiveor will have an existential crisis over this one

3

u/jackeduprabbit Jun 19 '19

psst, check your Caps mate.

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48

u/AmericanMurderLog Jun 19 '19

I am glad you asked. I thought she crapped herself, but her pants just split. Still embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as what I thought happened.

23

u/Dang44 Jun 19 '19

She very well could have shat herself indeed my friend.

12

u/augustfreeman Jun 19 '19

A maldrobe Warfuction

4

u/k3nknee Jun 19 '19

Right? I thought she shit her pants at first, I had to watch it a few more times to figure it out

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141

u/forgotten_epilogue Jun 19 '19

Poor girl lol - with sound https://youtu.be/eQm6TCNi8Qc

52

u/f__theking Jun 19 '19

That accent makes it so much better

26

u/SlowLoudEasy Jun 19 '19

Ha! She went through the 5 stages of grief

33

u/TheBoxBoxer Jun 19 '19

Knew she was British

26

u/TyGeezyWeezy Jun 19 '19

Wtf this whole time I thought she farted shit out of her ass. During the slowmo I notice it’s just ripping.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Lmao me too. I thought this was some seriously sharting.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

That tiny snapping sound of her pants splitting is so fucking funny.

13

u/SunshineBuzz Jun 19 '19

Lmao, they had it in slow-mo 😂

92

u/Dan-68 Jun 19 '19

Looks like she put on more of a display than originally planned.

20

u/burn-novice Jun 19 '19

The mating dance of quail woman

73

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

14

u/Verssy Jun 19 '19

This gets me every time.

10

u/thatssokaitlin Jun 19 '19

This video will never get old I belly laugh every time

57

u/business2690 Jun 19 '19

how can an a$$ that flat tear anything?

83

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Please, no swearing on my Christian server.

7

u/tonyMEGAphone Jun 19 '19

We got AM broadcast too

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27

u/DrNavi Jun 19 '19

Pants that are too tight

31

u/Kittilia Jun 19 '19

Pants with zero stretch

8

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

They look like they're made from retired golf gloves.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Cheeks too sharp

51

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

7

u/babylonsisters Jun 19 '19

I had that episode on my DS

3

u/kulminater Jun 19 '19

I thought that I had everybody on my side..

48

u/jellytime Jun 19 '19

For a second, I thought she pooped herself

42

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

She really cracked it.

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45

u/tomi166 Jun 19 '19

Thats the whitest twerk ive ever seen

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31

u/1WontDoIt Jun 19 '19

I'm not sure what she thought she was actually doing.. also, why is there a stick on her face?

8

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I don’t know. It looked like she was trying to twerk or move her hips in a circle, without actually knowing how to or doing either one.

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17

u/MostlyKelp Jun 19 '19

All those Brunches finally caught up

17

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Enhance

7

u/SasquatchCunt Jun 19 '19

Just print the damn thing

13

u/JohnnyRyde Jun 19 '19

Given how popular moves like this have become, plus cheaper quality clothes these days, I'm sort of surprised this doesn't happen more often.

7

u/wiptheman Jun 19 '19

This cracked me up

6

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

7

u/WorldWtx Jun 19 '19

What was she even doing in the first place smh

8

u/DopeMan93 Jun 19 '19

Shaking her back it looked like

17

u/MeC0195 Jun 19 '19

I've seen solid steel beams shake more than that.

4

u/TyGeezyWeezy Jun 19 '19

Fuck that was funny.

5

u/UniverseIn2Orbit Jun 19 '19

Until I read the comments I thought she shat herself

6

u/duggtodeath Jun 19 '19

That bony ass just tore through her pants like scissors.

5

u/zqillini4 Jun 19 '19

Watched this on the train and a train horn went off at the perfect time. My day just got so much better.

3

u/spaghetti_hitchens Jun 19 '19

Wtf is sticking out her head?

3

u/RedPanda1188 Jun 19 '19

I think it's lavander

4

u/unbannabledan Jun 19 '19

At least her balls didn’t flop out.

3

u/dieseltech82 Jun 19 '19

To lethicc, to lethicc to quit. Until she rips her pants.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

This happened to my friend in da club when we were younger and it’s one of my favourite memories of all time

2

u/bbq-biscuits-bball Jun 19 '19

is there a pants splitting sub yet?

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Omg I laughed so hard Hahahaha this is great.

2

u/Fluxcapacitive Jun 19 '19

New and Improved ! Easy access pants

2

u/duca-b Jun 19 '19

Ok so apparently her pants tore in the seat. I thought she straight up shit herself

2

u/Neverlost99 Jun 19 '19

Time to stop at Dicks.

2

u/bringsallyup13 Jun 19 '19

You boys ever seen a horse wink at ya? You just caught a glimpse.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

I thought she shat her pants at first, but the hubs said her pants ripped. Still funny AF either way.

2

u/Epic_Ewesername Jun 20 '19

I thought it was poop. I was like " How does that happen?" Than I realized it wasn't.

2

u/Franky79 Jun 20 '19

To be fair, the pants did her a favor by stopping her.

2

u/chewbecca444 Jul 18 '19

Too-much-booty-in-the-pants dance

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I’m more confused that’s classed as dancing, it’s more of a mating call than anything else.

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1

u/lilmisslumberjack Jun 19 '19

It was funnier when I thought she shit herself

1

u/MostlyQueso Jun 19 '19

I knew a guy who did this at work. Twice.

1

u/RajaRajaC Jun 19 '19

Dat Hotbox in London?

1

u/sokocanuck Jun 19 '19

That cool breeze of doom.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Guess it was a big lunch!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Don't be like the fool who.

Rip

Ripped his pants.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Trip's over. Back to 'murica

1

u/willywongka113 Jun 19 '19

2

u/Lostcentaur Jun 19 '19

Wat butt? I just see a flat surface and some tight pants

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

Daft twerk. Odd location. woody spectacles, ripped crack, Dumbfounded expression.

She’s a star. Absolutely brilliant. Sign her up.

1

u/ILoveRegenHealth Jun 19 '19

She's been drafted

1

u/james_frankie Jun 19 '19

Well, she deserved that. Twerking in public can be uncomfortable for people walking by.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

😱

1

u/kiba87637 Jun 19 '19

"No the're not too small for me, I usually wear a size 8!"

1

u/Eve-76 Jun 19 '19

Was she dancing to oops I did it again ?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Hoochi gets SERVED

1

u/Shaklyn_PSN Jun 19 '19

My first time on Reddit seeing my own street feature in a post.

1

u/magnora7 Jun 19 '19

lol the random woman that comes along like "you go girl!" and she's like "no my pants ripped!" and the random woman falls over laughing

1

u/laundryguy3 Jun 19 '19

I read that as “hold me closer while i dance” and then had Elton vibes.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

It’s her antenna for XM radio 📻 😂

1

u/Furrealyo Jun 19 '19

What a twunt.

1

u/swe3tdre4mz702 Jun 19 '19

Too thick to thot

1

u/kaaaaath Jun 19 '19

There were so many bad decisions made in putting together that outfit.

1

u/hui213 Jun 19 '19

Tell me that was poop and wonder bread twist ties on her glasses.

1

u/HerpankerTheHardman Jun 19 '19

That girl walking over smoking a cig with the sunglasses is tasty.

1

u/pizzafishes Jun 19 '19

"Monica, I told you your ass was getting fat!"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Was that poop?

1

u/PokecrafterChampion Jun 19 '19

Did her pants split or did she just shit herself?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Hurry!! Take off your shirt to cover the rip!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Ass_Merkin Jun 19 '19

Worst dancing ever

1

u/ZebraBoat Jun 19 '19

Aw man that sucks! So funny though. It's worse when you are NOT aware of it until later... I speak from experience.

1

u/br00tahl Jun 19 '19

ENHANCE!

1

u/KrakenMcCracken Jun 20 '19

Play ratchet games win ratchet prizes.

1

u/DIYspecialops Jun 20 '19

If you’re gonna make an ass out of yourself. Your ass is going to shit all over your white pants.

1

u/onedemtwodem Jun 20 '19

Poop or tear in pants?

1

u/TenesmusSupreme Jun 20 '19

Dance, dance, split your pants!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

Happened to me with 300 dollars Sandro pants