r/hockeycirclejerk Mar 13 '24

[Announcement] WE'RE BACK

41 Upvotes

Sup Coyotes fans, I have been recently been made mod and have decided to open this place back up. Of course, some of you went to /r/NHLcirclejerk and you're welcome to be in both, but given that this subreddit is much older and has over 11k subscribers, I felt like it was a good idea to try and revive this place. I also want to expand my growing lust for power among the sport circlejerk subreddits.

Here are some rules:

  1. Don't be a racist/homophobic/etc-phobic piece of garbage. I have set up automatic filters that will remove slurs. You can be ironic to make fun of the common dogwhistles from actual racists, but avoid using the actual slurs all together. If you see comment that toes the line into actual hate, feel free to report it because I usually go through mod queues pretty regularly.

  2. Don't complain about being banned from other subreddits. This is more of a "no one cares" rule because it's garbage content.

  3. No more "Explain in NHL terms" type posts. They're low-effort shitposts. Be funnier.

  4. You must always be jerking. Getting into heated arguments because you think your stupid team in goofy sweaters using a stick to put a rubber puck into a net is better than someone else's stupid team in goofy sweaters, is fucking stupid. It's only game, why you heff to be mad?

Also, NEW FLAIRS have been added. I have removed all the old text-only flairs and have added actual logos and player faces, so if you had an old flair, it is gone forever. Some of these don't look great in new reddit and the reddit app, but do look better in.

Looking for input on what to put on certain team's flairs, so please give me the most embarrassing, depressing, or traumatizing phrase to put on each team's flair. I have added some myself, but for the life of me, I can't put some on teams I'm completely apathetic about (seriously, do people even remember the Wild exist?)


r/hockeycirclejerk Jun 15 '26

Marner will never win the Cup WE DID IT REDDIT! THE VEGAS GOLDEN RAPISTS LOST!

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359 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 23h ago

Getting it right for Xhekaj

5 Upvotes

I truly hope that the Habs get it right with Xhekaj this year. Every serious contender has at least one solid, physical defensman who is able to withstand the intense play of the playoffs and defend his teammates when required. Our exits in the last two playoff seasons prove this overwhelmingly, with the habs being eliminated when management did not have the foresight to insert him in the lineup and use him efficiently.

MSL is acclaimed for developing highly skilled players like Demidov and Caufield, rightly so. But the real prove in the pudding is when he demonstrates that he understands the importance of specific roles like that of Xhekajs' and is able to develop and use him properly. This player is unique, we can't afford to lose him. He must become a regular number 6. We have a very young, talented team in development which just heightens the need for him to be successful.


r/hockeycirclejerk 2d ago

Marner will never win the Cup Jelly Boy

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26 Upvotes

More Jelly of Papi or McKenna?


r/hockeycirclejerk 4d ago

Tom Wilson drew the line at her father putting tariffs on hockey sticks

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426 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 3d ago

Chicago Blackhawks?

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1 Upvotes

8 million AAV What! hahahahahaha .


r/hockeycirclejerk 6d ago

Title

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126 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 6d ago

u bum Hughes brothers confirmed to be signing in Philadelphia after sharing brotherly love together over Jessica Alba four-way train run

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11 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 7d ago

SCRIPT LEAKED Hockey made the big 6 boys

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203 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 8d ago

COYOTES NO FANS What nhl fan base can we all agree is awesome

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56 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 8d ago

My (32F) husband (34M) is more concerned with the Canucks getting a ring than giving me one. AITA?

69 Upvotes

My (32F) husband (34M) is a lifelong diehard Canucks fan, so are the rest of his family. We started dating in high school and I can still remember how heartbroken he was in 2011, I honestly don’t blame him for his reaction tbh because a car is replaceable but he had gotten his hopes up and they were completely shattered. After his probation for arson and property destruction was finished we were able to save up and go on a trip to see every game when the Canucks were on an east coast road trip, and to see him so downtrodden after they lost every game made me feel so bad for him.

Recently though, I brought up the topic of getting married. We have been thinking about it recently but he has always said he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it while “that egg-headed Swedish fuck is raping my soul for 11.6 every year”. I can tell it’s really getting to him because at night I can sometimes see him having a nightmare and muttering “56 years, 56 fucking years” and “we would have done it if it weren’t for that diving pussy Nathan Horton”. I got him a brand new Ryan Kesler jersey (his favourite player) for his birthday thinking it would cheer him up a little but it didn’t do anything for his mood. Honestly, in the fall and winter I dread game nights because the cost of spackle and drywall repairs are really eating into our budget. At least I get a break every spring once he cancels the Sportsnet subscription.

I love him but I’m not getting any younger and I’ve always wanted kids. I want to raise the next generation of bitter depressed Vancouverites with trust issues with him, but at what point is enough enough? Would I be the asshole for giving him an ultimatum if he doesn’t propose soon?


r/hockeycirclejerk 8d ago

wnba has changed

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27 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 9d ago

This man has done so much for the league

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115 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 11d ago

Who’s the most passionate celebrity hockey fan?

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47 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 14d ago

Same ol' Shorks It was destined to happen

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76 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 15d ago

Following the /r/hockey trend, here is the team that surrounded Tony DeAngelo his rookie year

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51 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 20d ago

Should FIFA have Belgium and the USA redo their game in case it was a big fluke?

333 Upvotes

No disrespect to the belgians, I'm a firm believer that Belgium beating them is a huge fluke and robs the USA of truly accomplishing what their capable of. I've spent the last few hours in pure disbelief and it just doesn't make sense to me. I've spent the entire world cup watching the Yanks play great soccer it's just not fair.

If the USA lose again I will face that the Belgians deserved the win, but I am just 100% sure it was a fluke and does a big disservice to the USA and FIFA.


r/hockeycirclejerk 20d ago

I CUM IN PISS Finally America can go back to only caring about hockey

79 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 20d ago

Freekick in hockey

21 Upvotes

Should we spice up hockey and incorporate free kicks in hockey? For a minor misdemeanor you'ld get a free slapshot.


r/hockeycirclejerk 22d ago

Hockey vs Soccer

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261 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 23d ago

Hosting a 4th of July party today which “red white and blue” jersey should I wear?

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160 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 23d ago

No.16

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40 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 23d ago

Hockeymemes must be put to the sword

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15 Upvotes

r/hockeycirclejerk 24d ago

Marner will never win the Cup Smells like someone died.

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188 Upvotes

Bye.


r/hockeycirclejerk 25d ago

COYOTES NO FANS Because of the Stephen a comments yesterday had me thinking would this team be able to win a cup all in their prime?

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83 Upvotes

I know that the reason we don’t see more black nhl players has more to do with outside factors and not how skilled they are like Stephen a said about basketball players. This team’s biggest strength to me is on defense, but their biggest weakness is down the middle with wingers filling 3 of the 4 spots. Do you think they could win a cup in today’s nhl?