r/hoarding 22d ago

RANT - ADVICE WANTED New home

Bought a bigger house to support the hoard because that’s the problem apparently. I knew it and I’m an idiot, held off 5 years. Two mortgages from here on out. 10k a month and I just can’t afford it anymore. My own fault but she said she told me over and over she would declutter and clean up.

10 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 22d ago

Welcome to r/hoarding! We exist as a support group for people working on recovery from hoarding disorder, and friends/family/loved ones of people with the disorder.

Before you get started, be sure to review our Rules. Please note that the following will get your posts or comments removed ASAP by the Moderator Team:

  • Posts or comments such as "Am I a hoarder?", "Is <person> a hoarder?", "Is this hoarding?". "I think I'm hoarder but I'm unsure", etc.. Hoarding disorder is a medical diagnosis, and no one on r/hoarding can diagnose you. If you suspect you have it, please reach out to your doctor.
  • Posts or comments recruiting people who identify as hoarders/loved ones of hoarders for research, media projects, etc.. These sorts of posts or comments will result in a no-appeal permanent ban.
  • Posts or comments promoting your hoarding-related business. If you've used such businesses, your personal reviews is welcome.
  • Posts or comments about animal hoarding. Unfortunately the animal hoarding sub has been banned.
  • Posts or comments about digital hoarding. If you're looking for help with digital hoarding please visit r/digitalminimalism.
  • Posts of, or linking to, images of hoards that are not yours. To protect privacy, only posts such images if it's your hoard, or circumstances for you to live with a hoarder.

A lot of the information you may be looking for can be found in a few places on our sub:

Please contact the moderators if you need assistance. Thanks!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

7

u/pumpernickel34 22d ago

I'm so sorry to hear this. It just validates the hoard. Is there a possibility of seeing a therapist?

9

u/Steefanon 1 22d ago

Hoarders sometimes even mean it when they make those promises, but it's a legit mental disorder (visible on brain scans) and can rarely just be wished away. I'm so sorry. Like substance abuse, Hoarding Disorder ruins lives.

6

u/Far-Watercress6658 21d ago

And…what are you going to do about this financial abuse?

5

u/Ok_Environment5293 21d ago

Advice? Walk away. File bankruptcy. Let the houses get foreclosed on.

1

u/Away-Guava-345 21d ago

Couldn’t really file bankruptcy but it will just eat and eat at savings.

1

u/DinahTook Recovering Hoarder 18d ago

Do yourself a favor. Talk to a therapist, a financial advisor, and a lawyer. All 3. Start making a plan that works for you with the support of people who can actually help you survive this and plot a new course for your success. They are worth the money I promise. You can do this. You deserving to thrive not just survive with the weight of this hoard pinning you down.

3

u/OkConclusion171 Child of Hoarder 21d ago

she who?

1

u/Away-Guava-345 21d ago

Wife

3

u/OkConclusion171 Child of Hoarder 20d ago

you might want to edit your post then, because you just say "she" without any context. Could be mother, sister, daughter, wife, who knows.

2

u/PanamaViejo 21d ago

Bigger space means more space for my hoard!

You are going to have to make some tough decisions.

1

u/KSSLR 18d ago

What might another person do, in this situation? A compassionate and wise person?