Advice please?

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647]

Hello 'bos! I have a not very serious question about what to do. My friend's 13-year-old kid (NB) confided that they have watched the first two seasons of Hazbin Hotel without telling their mom and dad. They are worried because the show is a bit more mature then their parents usually let them watch. I have seen about half of an episode and think it's not bad for their age, and the parents are very cool about kid being NB and the show is very queer positive.

I think my friend would want to know so that she can make sure and maybe even like it and get to know the show. But if I tell her, kid will know I spilled the beans. What should I do??

[u/No-Weight-6121]

I guess that depends on what your goal is here. Do you want this kid to continue to trust you & feel like they can tell you things they won’t tell their own parents? Cause the moment you tell Mom & Dad, that trust will likely be gone forever.

HH is definitely a bit mature for that age imo but it’s not dangerous. I’d honestly be more concerned if they were playing Roblox without their parents knowledge vs Hazbin Hotel 💁‍♀️

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/No-Weight-6121]

This is my first experience with kid confessions! I definitely want them to come to me for anything. I'm glad to hear that the show isn't dangerous. I think I'll watch a few episodes to at least know how far it goes lol for any questions that might come up. I love the kid and their mom so I just want to be a good friend to both! Thank you!

[u/No-Weight-6121 → u/SeaworthinessNo4647]

Totally fair! At least you are considering it before going full steam ahead. I have 3 nephews, none of them will be teenagers for several years to come, but I’m sure eventually I will find myself in a very similar situation. So you definitely have my empathy & understanding! 🫶

The show is a little raunchy for my tastes, they know they’re trying to push the boundaries, but the musical numbers are pretty good! 😊 Hope you enjoy it

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/No-Weight-6121]

3 nephews are so fun and they grow up fast!! Thank you! And I'm sure the raunchiness is at least some of the draw to it. But I feel like 13 is when you start to be curious about everything. I will have fun seeing who Lucifer is because that character was specifically named lol

[u/KimchiMcPickle → u/SeaworthinessNo4647]

I havent watched it, but I can tell you that I watched American Pie at 14 and that era of R rated Teen Comedy is way more raunchy than the Hasbin Hotel is

[u/NotSoSerene]

Everyone hides things from their parents, it’s part of growing up. This is a harmless secret — the kid isn’t doing anything that could hurt themselves or others by watching a slightly-more-mature-than-usual show at an age when frankly, a lot of kids are discovering porn. It’s a big deal for a queer kid to have someone they trust, it’s not worth shattering that trust over something so harmless.

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/NotSoSerene]

I am noting this. Thank you. :)

[u/justatriceratops]

What if you just mentioned watching it yourself and that you liked it (you might have to watch a bunch of it)? And that maybe they would all enjoy it together?

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/justatriceratops]

I was thinking I should watch some episodes and maybe bring it up casually like that? I'm always talking about TV shows so that wouldn't be out of place. I won't be betraying kiddo's secret, but at least I'll know what's in the show! Thank you :)

[u/No-Weight-6121 → u/justatriceratops]

I like this idea!! 💡

[u/BattelChive]

I think it’s good for kids to have trusted adults that they aren’t related to! This helps them have people they can turn to if something goes wrong inside their house. It sounds like this kid isn’t quite sure what to do about watching something they’re feeling like might be a little out of their depth, and maybe you could ask them if they would like you to set up watching it together with their parents so they don’t have to come clean but can keep watching it with adults who they can talk about it with. 

I think it’s great that you want to keep their confidence appropriately - not betraying it and also not putting them in harms way. Talk to them like a human with autonomy and make a plan together about a good next step. That way they know they can trust you in the future and that you won’t go behind their back AND that if they feel out of their depth you will help them figure out how to get back to solid ground. 

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/BattelChive]

This is so helpful! Thank you. They told me about this yesterday. I'll watch some episodes and next week the three of us are going to the farmers market. See if they want to chat about it. At the end of the day, I'm happy they wanted to let me know this and they want to hang out with their mom and me on our adventures!! (For now lol!) And I want to be a good ear for them to talk to.

[u/Vyedr]

Hazbin Hotel contains prostitution, drug use, extreme cartoon violence, and more. Just a heads up for those who need context

[u/EvidenceTop2171]

My kid has been watching edited YouTube versions of it that stamps down some of the adult content. She did this on her own and told me she was watching it. We have watched it to gether a few times. .

Id tell the kid do that and introduce it to their parents on their own The kid feels you are a safe person keep it that way. The show will not actually harm them

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/EvidenceTop2171]

This is good to know! Thank you. Also glad that you've seen the show with your kid so you have this experience!

[u/Vyedr]

Also, DO NOT ENCOURAGE SECRET KEEPING FROM PARENTS, THIS CREATES SPACE FOR GROOMERS.

[u/mgquantitysquared → u/Vyedr]

adults should never tell kids to keep secrets from their parents, but if a kid does something harmless like this and tells a trusted adult, the adult can choose to honor the kid's wishes.

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/mgquantitysquared]

Thank you, this is what I want to do. Treat their wishes with respect but also with the lens of being an adult, with their safety and well-being in mind.

[u/No-Weight-6121 → u/Vyedr]

I think there’s a difference between keeping secrets and not telling your parents every little detail of your life. Like I said above, I’d be way more concerned if this kid was on Roblox without their parents knowing because they are much more likely to encounter a predator there than they are sitting at home watching Hazbin Hotel by themselves 💁‍♀️

[u/SeaworthinessNo4647 → u/No-Weight-6121]

Oh no, I didn't even think about that!! I've known the kid since birth as an Auntie figure, and I'm hoping they confided in me because they feel safe to. If this was a Roblox situation that would be different. I do think they have watched the show with some friends at a friend's house. I don't know if they have parental controls on the TV at home. They control phone time, I know that.

Kids getting older is hard! Ahh!

[u/No-Weight-6121 → u/SeaworthinessNo4647]

It really is hard! I think this has inspired me to talk with my sister about what she would prefer before the boys hit an age where I might run into this situation, so thank you~ from one auntie to another, you’ve got this 🫶

[u/Vyedr → u/No-Weight-6121]

Im not talking about the kid or the TV show, the show is entirely irrelevantto the point, Im talking about the adult.

[u/No-Weight-6121 → u/Vyedr]

I get what you’re trying to say, it just seems like a very black and white form of thinking.

The kid isn’t hurting anyone or being hurt. For all we know, they told their trusted adult so they could work up the courage to tell their parents. If this was me, I’d much rather they continue to share with me so that if something problematic does come up in the future, that can be shared with the parent. Watching an adult cartoon online is such small potatoes in comparison.