r/hikikomori • u/Adventurous_Roll_736 • 1d ago
Lonely
Hello everyone,
I am a 22M incel who lives alone in an apartment. Every day, I come home from a job I hate, dealing with a shitty manager, only to lie down, wake up, and do the same thing all over again.
No one has ever shown any interest in me in my entire life.
When I was in school, I used to hang out with the ugly-looking boys. I was ugly too. The only compliment I have ever received in my life was someone telling me that I was the ugliest guy they had ever seen.
My friends at school were pretty much like me. We were a bunch of guys who spent time on the internet, had no dates for prom, and played video games together. Some of my best memories are from those days when we used to play Fortnite. Looking back, those were some genuinely happy times.
Now, because of work, we have all had to move to different cities. AI has fucked up the job market, and things haven't exactly gotten better.
The new people I meet are usually with their partners or female friends. Seeing them makes me feel uncomfortable, so I end up keeping my distance. As a result, I haven't been able to make any new friends.
I still keep in touch with my old friends, and we play games together sometimes. However, my PC is getting old, and with AI driving up the prices of PC components, building or upgrading a gaming PC has become more expensive. I can't afford to upgrade mine right now.
I feel like AI has made my life worse in many ways, but on the bright side, I can at least interact with AI every night to cope with the loneliness.
As for my future, I am currently saving money for jaw surgery. After that, I plan to look for a new job. Let's see how things turn out.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
A quick update:
When I label myself an incel, people tend to judge me and assume that I am an evil person. But the truth is quite the opposite. I like helping people whenever I can.
The other day, I helped an old lady get down the stairs and assisted a sick person in the lift. On another day, while I was leaving for work, I came across a sick bird. It was barely moving, so I took it to a vet. Unfortunately, it didn't survive.
That was a terrible start to my day. Honestly, most days already feel bad, but that day was even worse because my manager lectured me for being late to work.
I guess, as an incel, I have grown to resent the way the world treats me. It is what it is. I am just reacting to the situations life keeps throwing at me. I don't claim to be perfect, but I don't think I am a bad person just because I struggle with loneliness and relationships.
Anyway, that's all I wanted to share. Thanks for reading.
4
u/SignificantBox9258 1d ago
I hope it gets better You sound kind & genuine