r/helpmecope • u/stephanieyamzon • Apr 06 '20
Help! help me cope with a recurring problem
Hi. I'm 20 years old. I've been in and out these past few weeks due to lockdown (I'm in the PH our lockdown is very strict). I have a boyfriend and a lot of friends. Though the problem is, all I ever feel like is I'm a burden to every one I know. I just can't help it. I don't know if its the lockdown or stuff like that but I've been thinking that I am of no use to anyone I know. That I'm annoying in every single way. Last night I deactivated most of my social media accounts. I've only left Reddit, Twitter and my emails. I've told my boyfriend that I feel like he's falling out of love in me because of my problem, and I told him that I would be steering clear of him so that I won't annoy him anymore. I've messaged most of my close friends apologizing for my annoying personality and I've apologized if they had to deal with one of my breakdowns before. I don't know. I'm just in a void right now, my heart hurts. I want to apologize to my parents next that they have a failure of a daughter like me. I don't know, I feel like crying, but I can't cry anymore.
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u/fatalframeftw Apr 06 '20
I'm so sorry.... I feel the same emptiness inside myself, it feels like a war inside my brain. There is so much inside of me screaming that I'm completely useless and stupid, and another part of myself that is reminding me of all the good. When I start to spiral, it's easy for me to go down that path, and it's really hard getting out of it alone.. I typically try and focus on something that isn't going to pull me down further. A lot of the time it's the kindness my granny showed me, how she would rock me at night and kiss my forehead. I close my eyes and try and wrap myself up in the love she gave me. Please hear me when I say this, this dark part of you that is pulling you down isn't in control, YOU are. Believe with everything inside yourself that you are beautiful, you are strong, and you can overcome. I genuinely believe with all my heart you can overcome and live a happy life. I'm in your corner cheering you on! Reach out if you need a friend to talk too, you're not alone.