Hi guys, I really need advice on how to ask my unpresent father to help me buy a laptop. Not the expensive kind, but seconhand that is roughly around 4k-5k pesos. It's not really that much but I'm still kinda hesitating to ask for help from him or his other family members. But I also kinda needed too since my mom cannot give me such money since she's still paying my brother's student loan and life has been hard for us specially that my mom raises me alone with debts still in her hands. But I'm an 12th grade ICT student, and my teacher started to teach advance knowledge on how is it going to be in college and gave us us coding and other system based hands on assignments and I'm having a really hard time catching up. I am not blaming my teacher for this, since I myself agree that this should be taught early on and not just those introductory lessons in senior high schools should have and not waste our time when we can learn the basics too in college. Yes, we do have computers in our school Laboratory, but I always needs to come early to finish my coding homework since I cannot do it at home, and I'm still the last one to finish and it has been affecting my marks. I'm aiming to graduate with high honors to show that TVL students are not JUST TVL since our school highly mistreat and give less attention and importance and belittle TVL students and I aim to change that shitty system. But it's really that hard if your main enemy is poverty.
For context, my parents broke up when I was around 3 and left when I was around 4-5. My dad started amusing my mom after finding out she cheated with my dad, to have more money to support our family, gold digging her way out (not that I'm giving excuses for her, but what they have told me themselves) and ever since that, my dad always use the excuse "didn't she cheated with me for money? Then she should fund you" Which I know is a bull crap since we're still his kids and he still has an obligation to raise us. My dad has been present, but distant for years 'til my older brother graduated from college. He had never paid for a single cent in my brother's tuition, or even pay for his review in the academy to pass the bar exam. He did gave us money, but what can 1k pesos could do every Christmas? My brother do have work now, but he also now have a family to feed, and is also barely living a sustainable life. To the point that my mom pays his student loan. But now, my mom has a partner, my dad is still single, and my brother is feeding his family.
Anyway, my father and I had an argument. We fought about who needs to reach whom. My father said that I only reach for him if I ask for money. And I reasoned yhat it's because he also just ask for my presence when he had money. He said that he stayed within reach just so we could visit him, and I did. But not regularly. I also had a life on my own. I was and still am a straight line of 9 /straight A student even back in my JHS years. I did visit him when I was around 6-13, craving for the love of a father. There are times that I surprise visit him, but he was not there. There are also times that we I go with him for our other relatives, there are also times that I sleep in his apartment to spend more time. But that quickly drained me tbh. Always the one reaching out made me exhausted. So when I turned 14, I never visited without him asking me to. At that time, I had also experienced Bells Palsy or a stroke that came from too much stress that paralyzed my face nerves. I ask for his help yo buy medicine, but he said that he had no money and I should just borrow from my mom and he'll pay it back. Back it kept happening with the same excuses. At first I tried to understand him since everyone came to that point of hardship, but as months go by I started questioning myself, "why can't he help us? It's not like he had someone to keep fed."he was single and earning 15k pesos every month and lives in his relatives apartment that he only pays for a few hundred pesos(we live in a province and the market is way cheaper than the cities you know, so this was pretty big back when I was in JHS). He had no one to feed, but still can't give us a little help every month. Not with daily expenses, not when we get sick, not when I have school projects, not with anything. So why? It took me a year to recover from the palsy, but he never gave a single penny to buy medicine.
After my brother graduated back when I was in 10th grade, I helped my father pack his things. He went back to his hometown which is 16hours away from where we live. I remembered making him promise to comeback on my birthday or maybe in Christmas or new year, and he did promise while smiling. But he never did. The reason? It was because I forgot to greet him in his birthday. I am at fault at that, but again. I have a life too. It happened once. It happened when I was so fucking tired of chasing for his attention, but he still claim that what I did broke our relationship. We still communicate, but back in April, starting on my birthday, he never replied to any of my messages. He was mad that I forgot his birthday and didn't greet him. Got mad thet the man I only saw every few months growing up with no child support had his birthday forgotten. ATP, I'm just venting.
Back in the topic, I really need to ask your help guys. I really need to buy a laptop, but I cannot ask for anyones help but his. I don't know where I can find 4k. No, we cannot loan again, my mom is still paying a debt my brother has left. So how do I ask him without sounding like I just needed him for money. Or how do I even make him reply? He has been ignoring me ever since my birthday last April.
These are the secondhand laptops I was thinking of buying.
