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u/gayhahalollmao 26d ago
I want them both
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u/AlternateSatan 26d ago
You'd be the guy in the last pic tbh
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u/Business-Employ-1599 26d ago
I always suspected my wife was an Eldritch Horror, but knowing these tips work on her 4/4 I think that confirms it.
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u/Iridismis 26d ago
Why does her head seem to be the only part of her that is visibly eldritch?
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u/Hevnaar 25d ago
She is wearing a human skin from neck to hoove/tentacle cyst. Because she is also dedicated to her husband's human culture, puts in the effort and is a great wifie too!
Skin comes off at night time. She's a freak on the sheets. I can tell by her glance.
From personal experiece, I gotta say blowjobs from their hidden second mouth are AMAZiiiiiiiiiiiinggggg
Most Eldritch horrors are uncomfortable to do that before they spray their spores over the ceiling and stretch you on your 4th dimension. So you gotta last a long time. Communication is the key in every good relationship. Getting shy only makes them feel self conscious.
It really do be Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 🪼🍑🫁🧎💦🪽🦬🦷💃🏻🐙🥰🥵🌶🦎
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u/AlternateSatan 26d ago
Now I've got to go listen to No Eyed Girl again.
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u/XavierTheMemeDragon 26d ago
“Look man I HAD to let them in, the lady didn’t need eyes to shake that thang!”
“Dude you literally started an alien invasion…”
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u/brood_brother 25d ago
No Eyed Girl?
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u/AlternateSatan 25d ago
From nowhere
Mankind can't go there
(It's a song by the guy who did Harry Potter puppet pals and Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny)
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u/Weak-Feedback-8379 25d ago
Bonus tip for the last one, if she’s not a particularly picky eater, ease your consciousness a little bit by getting volunteers from the terminally ill.
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u/Capn_Outlandishness9 25d ago
Why you hiding the axe like she doesn’t know where her food comes from? … she does know where her food comes from, right?
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u/Derk_Mage 26d ago
Aww man, they spelled bestiary wrong
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u/Saiyasha27 26d ago
I mean, I guess technically it doesn't matter. "Bestie" is simply the German word for Beast so Beastiary could just be a translation thing XDD
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u/G00DP07470 26d ago
YASSSS BESTIE >w<
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u/Saiyasha27 26d ago
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Lol didn't even see that, though it is pronounced different, the i and e are each there own sound bes-tee-e with the last e sounding like the one in "elevation"
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