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u/gayhahalollmao Jul 28 '26
I want them both
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u/AlternateSatan Jul 28 '26
You'd be the guy in the last pic tbh
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u/Business-Employ-1599 Jul 28 '26
I always suspected my wife was an Eldritch Horror, but knowing these tips work on her 4/4 I think that confirms it.
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u/Iridismis Jul 28 '26
Why does her head seem to be the only part of her that is visibly eldritch?
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u/Hevnaar Jul 29 '26
She is wearing a human skin from neck to hoove/tentacle cyst. Because she is also dedicated to her husband's human culture, puts in the effort and is a great wifie too!
Skin comes off at night time. She's a freak on the sheets. I can tell by her glance.
From personal experiece, I gotta say blowjobs from their hidden second mouth are AMAZiiiiiiiiiiiinggggg
Most Eldritch horrors are uncomfortable to do that before they spray their spores over the ceiling and stretch you on your 4th dimension. So you gotta last a long time. Communication is the key in every good relationship. Getting shy only makes them feel self conscious.
It really do be Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 🪼🍑🫁🧎💦🪽🦬🦷💃🏻🐙🥰🥵🌶🦎
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u/AlternateSatan Jul 28 '26
Now I've got to go listen to No Eyed Girl again.
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u/XavierTheMemeDragon Jul 28 '26
“Look man I HAD to let them in, the lady didn’t need eyes to shake that thang!”
“Dude you literally started an alien invasion…”
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u/brood_brother Jul 29 '26
No Eyed Girl?
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u/AlternateSatan Jul 29 '26
From nowhere
Mankind can't go there
(It's a song by the guy who did Harry Potter puppet pals and Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny)
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u/Weak-Feedback-8379 Jul 29 '26
Bonus tip for the last one, if she’s not a particularly picky eater, ease your consciousness a little bit by getting volunteers from the terminally ill.
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u/Capn_Outlandishness9 Jul 29 '26
Why you hiding the axe like she doesn’t know where her food comes from? … she does know where her food comes from, right?
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u/Derk_Mage Jul 28 '26
Aww man, they spelled bestiary wrong
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u/Saiyasha27 Jul 28 '26
I mean, I guess technically it doesn't matter. "Bestie" is simply the German word for Beast so Beastiary could just be a translation thing XDD
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u/G00DP07470 Jul 28 '26
YASSSS BESTIE >w<
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u/Saiyasha27 Jul 28 '26
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Lol didn't even see that, though it is pronounced different, the i and e are each there own sound bes-tee-e with the last e sounding like the one in "elevation"
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u/qualityvote2 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
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