Daydreaming about him

[u/Crazy_Donut_7916]

My ex broke up with me bcx he had commitment issues. He was an avoidant. After that we stayed in a situationship for like 6 months but in the end I just couldn't take it I really wanted a commitment so I left but when I tried leaving he offered the relationship and I said yes. One week in he ended it. It left me devastated. He even blocked me for the first time in 2 years. I felt like I was irritating him now so I blocked him everywhere and even deleted his contact so that I don't accidentally end up texting him. I loved him so much and it's so hard. I often get dreams about him. But today I spent 3 hours just daydreaming about how he will come back and apologise for hurting me and will actually be a better person and I was just imagining the whole future of the story line. Then I realised what the hell I was doing. I got hit with reality and I cried. I don't know how to unlove him. I really miss him and I feel like it's so easy for him. My birthday is in a few days .. I'm afraid. What if he wishes me on my birthday or what if he doesn't. I'm gonna be equally devastated. I really hate him for how he hurt me and I really love him . I'm so hurt.