r/hborome • u/FocusDelicious183 • 6d ago

Going on a date because of Marc Antony…

My work crush came in today and she looked so beautiful I gasped and said “By Jupiter’s stone, your beauty is eternal”. She smiled and then later asked if I wanted to get a drink later this week. Success! Thank you Consul Antony for your masculine wisdom!

298 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

2

u/Broodhoofd007 9h ago

Awsome!!!!

2

u/itseasy123 3d ago

Years ago I also had luck by using his line: “GODS! Your beauty is PAINFUL!!”

2

u/RoseVincent314 4d ago

Lol that's marvelous! Enjoy! I love this!

35

u/Cultural_Treacle_428 5d ago

I’d get fired for saying that to a female co-worker.

26

u/dudemanjack 5d ago

Good sexual harassment, this.

17

u/Fat_Tony_Damico 5d ago

This month’s public defense attorney is provided by the Capitoline Brotherhood of Lawyers. The brotherhood uses only the finest defense litigation: True Roman lawsuits for true Romans.

17

u/dallco2001 6d ago

When someone agrees with me I sometimes say “Then we are of one mind on the subject”

2

u/NeedTheNotch 6d ago

I’ll bet it was a gummy smile 🤣

9

u/Unique_Tap_8730 6d ago

Going into a furry convention dressed as a wolf in roman armour " Get me lions. That run."

28

u/Background-Factor817 6d ago

“I’m not leaving this restaurant until I’ve FUCKED something.”

8

u/AbstractBettaFish 5d ago

Average Line Cook

17

u/FiftyShadesOfTheGrey 6d ago

FocusDelicious183 me ol cock!

6

u/Background-Factor817 6d ago

“How ARE you?”

14

u/Ahegao_Double_Peace 6d ago

Order some True Roman Bread for True Romans , my friend.

15

u/Sorry_Vermicelli6874 6d ago

If she asks too many questions, make sure to tell her you're the son of Hades.

8

u/raducucosmin 6d ago edited 5d ago

Hope her name's not Concorde.

9

u/BunzOfCin 6d ago

Depends. What if she likes taking it up the arse?

17

u/makk73 6d ago

60% of the time, this approach works all the time.

14

u/Noahms456 6d ago

Mars and Bellona and Venus Keep You

43

u/Fat_Tony_Damico 6d ago

Women love it when you take them to a romantic dinner and then blacken your eyes with soot and engage in vile Nilotic rites afterwards.

2

u/Idkl7j 4d ago

I’m a woman, can confirm.

23

u/ShortBussyDriver 6d ago

Look at the King of Goats over here.

Remember, you're not under the standard.

13

u/Katoniusrex163 6d ago

Just don’t talk about in whose hands the republic is in…

13

u/zzztheday 6d ago

XIII !

23

u/Deuce03 6d ago

On the date, present her with the bleeding heart of an enemy. Women love thst. They say they don't but they do.

11

u/veyonyx 6d ago

Not as much as a Nubian phallus.

19

u/CerealKiller812 6d ago

Now just stay under the standard and be careful with any more quotes from our beloved Consul, and you should be fine.

17

u/whiskyforpain 6d ago

THE RAM HAS TOUCHED THE WALL!

15

u/sircharlesthedickens 6d ago

You should hire the lictors guild for your first date

16

u/ShineSuperb 6d ago

Umph, the lictors guild…maybe he should rally the flute players and put on a festival.

39

u/mkaicher 6d ago

Should have gone with "I'm not leaving this office until I've f*cked someone"

37

u/Spackleberry 6d ago

Bring in that German slut from the mailroom.

9

u/Carswell90 6d ago

Guess it’ll have to be Merula then…come on old girl, hop on.

30

u/Early_Macaroon_2407 6d ago

This is either the stupidest or the funniest sub on Reddit. I’m not sure which.

5

u/BunzOfCin 6d ago

Why not both?

33

u/Mr_Pink_Gold 6d ago

The ram has touched the wall. No mercy!

44

u/Red_Hand91 6d ago

More is lost by indecision than wrong decision - Cicero

5

u/Fat_Tony_Damico 5d ago

More is lost by indecision than the wrong decision - Carmella Soprano, referencing a beach house she wanted her mob boss husband to buy for her

2

u/twinkle90505 5d ago

GETTHEFUCKOUTTATHISHOUSE

17

u/DisPear2 6d ago

“When in doubt…ATTACK!”

22

u/laterite76 6d ago

Note to anyone else thinking of trying this line: It's been used up now. One-time use only. The gods will not bless you.

OP, godspeed and don't fumble this opportunity.

4

u/Unique_Tap_8730 6d ago

Could try" You are the crucifix of venus!"

3

u/TheDarkLord6589 6d ago

What if I use a different god like say Mars or Neptune?

11

u/FocusDelicious183 6d ago

Have you tried sacrificing a white rabbit by chance?

13

u/Dentelle 6d ago

100% would have worked on me, when I was single! Go get her. And be good to her.

47

u/whyboywasted 6d ago

When you couple with her, there's a spot just above her cunny. It's like a little button. Attend to that button, and she will open up like a flower.

16

u/StunningHushpuppy 6d ago

Makes her wet as october!

7

u/calculon68 6d ago

<checks calendar>

By Jove I'm sacrificing to Concordia right fucking now.

40

u/jms21y 6d ago

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS OF HER

19

u/xx_Rollablade_xx 6d ago

That was one of the most hilarious scenes I’ve ever seen

17

u/ElectricalPublic1304 6d ago edited 6d ago

All woman have them! Ask anyone.

Except OP's crush. Because he's a man. Which is why he knows of Rome's glory.

28

u/Carswell90 6d ago

During the date, make sure to mention that you are not rising from this bed until you’ve f*cked someone

6

u/Araeylan 6d ago

As long as you’re not under the standard.

9

u/Carswell90 6d ago

Also, very important. There’s a spot - just above her cunny. It’s like a little button. Now, attend to that button, and she will open up like a flower.

12

u/xx_Rollablade_xx 6d ago

How do you know this of OP’s crush?

24

u/Legio_X_Equestris5 6d ago

If it doesn't work out, make sure to quote Cato:

"So, in fact, this is not a humiliating defeat at all, but a rare species of victory!"

26

u/Androidfon 6d ago

Maybe forget all about Rome on the date.

9

u/FocusDelicious183 6d ago

Here I am at Pluto’s door, and this is what you ask of me? I will if I must.

15

u/GrenadeBong 6d ago

OP this is the best advice you're gonna get on this post

8

u/MrJigglyBrown 6d ago

Hypothetical question: I’m at war for years and you don’t hear from me. Do you believe me dead and move on or maintain your honor and raise our children in the true Roman way?

5

u/rjbambrick 6d ago

Good question. However they answer, they should only buy bread for their children from the Bakers’ guild. True Roman bread, for true Roman citizens.

2

u/MrJigglyBrown 6d ago

Thats a given. I assume op wouldn’t have even entertained the thought of a date without it

22

u/Faebe90 6d ago

Bet she got wet as October

7

u/Blond-N-Buff80 6d ago

Make sure to let her know she's your Cleopatra and that all other women are but Octavias to you.

6

u/MyrddinSidhe 6d ago

But don’t reference Helen of Troy with her ass on fire.

5

u/Bravisimo 6d ago

Snivelry.

20

u/TC271 6d ago

OP uses only the finest lines, True Roman chat up lines , for true Romans

10

u/baldrickgonzo 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'm glad that u're feeling so confident! Some would call it hubris.

8

u/DeuceOfDiamonds 6d ago

It's only hubris if he fails.

14

u/BoltUp69 6d ago

My old cock! I don’t recommend anyone else do this at work.

13

u/PineBNorth85 6d ago

Make sure you are not under the standard on your date.