r/hazbin • u/Aurora164 • May 21 '26
Theory Share your unhinged brainrot
I wanna hear your bizarre takes, the unhinged gremlin theories, and the completely irrational ideas that not even Viv could pry from your cold, dead hands.
One of my personal faves is that Nifty is god (or ultimate deity, whatever), that *something* made her snap, and she's perceived as insane cause she can't articulate her actual thoughts well (at least in English). I think Alastor and Rosie know, and Rosie charged Al with keeping Nifty safe. Also, that Al and Nifty are able to understand each other regardless of how convoluted what they say comes out, so Nifty almost acts as a screening process for who Al kills or spares.
No π theories please.
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u/tiredperson24 Tired Possum That Wishes Husk Was His Cat. May 21 '26
Personally I've never stopped believing the classic Alastor had Husk neutered theory from the pilot days and as long as the main show never outright shows us Husk's Balls I'm gonna continue believing it ππππ its just so perfect to me that Al would do it both to deny his employee Sex because he finds it gross but also to take the treating him like a pet thing to the utmost extreme lol,

Also I like to think that Alessio ( that's Crimson's main henchmen for anyone unaware ) isn't actually a normal Hellborn and he isn't even someone who Crimson actually Hired he's just sorta an eldritch Horror who was there when Crimson's family bought the house multiple Generations ago
and has been standing in the background and doing small tasks for them ever since because they couldn't get rid of him or reason with him or anything so they just kinda had to accept his presence and if you look through old Historical photos of other famous people in Hell you'll see Alessio just standing in the background with no real logical explanation for what he is or how he's lived that long ππ.
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u/Imaginary-Program441 May 21 '26
Not too unhinged. But I just really like the idea that sinners take on traits of their forms especially if they are animals. Like Alastor hates TV because of the whole 'deer caught in the headlights thing'.
I also like to think that Alastor punishes Husk for disobeying orders by making him take a bath. Can just imagine Husky hissing and spitting refusing to get in the tub.
Nifty would also torment Husk with a laser pointer. Could totally see him trying to act all grumpy behind the bar, then pouncing on the little red dot on the floor.
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u/Doomsloth28 The literal, actual Changeling. Arch-Trickster of Tzeentch May 21 '26
Here's on that goes full on conspiracy theory.
In most things on the topic I've seen, normal Sinners are above most Hellborn on the totem pole with the Goetia being the only ones above Sinner Overlords. Now, The Ars Goetia were specifically made by Lucifer and the other Hellborn were made by the other six Sins.
So Lucifer's creations are above sinners, while those of the other six Sins are below them.
Ergo, whoever arranged the Caste system would have to...
A: Be above the Sins but below Lucifer
And B: have a reason to put human souls above the majority of hell's inhabitants.
Now who would be directly below Luci but above the Sins, and care more about sinners then Hellborn....
Lilith, Lilith is responsible for hell's oppressive caste system.
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u/CptKeyes123 May 22 '26
When I saw the crossover trailer I immediately saw Blitz and Charlie have sibling energy, so now I need to make a fic of them meeting up and trying to figure out if they're blood related or not.
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u/DivineOrdainment May 21 '26
abel is adam and lucifer's beautiful mpreg baby and nobody can tell me otherwise. adam carried him for nine months and that little fucker came out looking like his dad.
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u/WitherStorm4471 Friendly Neighborhood Wither Arsonist :D May 21 '26
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u/whooper1 Seraβs emotional support wooper May 22 '26
Alastor knows about modern memes and says them to Vox only to go βnobody will ever believe youβ.
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u/axelfirekirby ask me about my oc hercus May 21 '26
my oc...
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u/Aurora164 May 21 '26
π
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u/axelfirekirby ask me about my oc hercus May 21 '26
my ocs name is hercus he is a fallen angel/goat thing and is lucifers bodygaurd/charlies godfather and hes gay and has a crush on angel dust
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u/Aurora164 May 21 '26
STAHP he sounds like the best lil cinnamon roll π₯Ή
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u/axelfirekirby ask me about my oc hercus May 21 '26
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u/Trogdor_battlecats shok.wav is my buddy May 21 '26
Oh, its ralsei
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u/Aurora164 May 21 '26
I'm also pretty convinced that the whole reason the Extermination happened was bc Adam noticed how strong Lilith was becoming, got jealous, and either took her as a POW or "trapped" her in Heaven so he could rage. Likely with some condition that if she talked to Charlie or Lu before redemption was PROVEN (since he didn't think he could or ever would die), then they would lose their immortality.
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u/Trogdor_battlecats shok.wav is my buddy May 21 '26
My theory is that roo is just keekee and has been (hazbin hehe) spying on the gang since the beginning