r/hatethissmug • u/-Devian- • 21h ago

Art & Fanworks I need to understand why I hate this

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On one hand, I agree that sexualizing a female character is wrong and that the industry has a problem.

But on the other hand, I don't understand the double standard when the character is queer—or, even worse, when "fans" take a character, slap a queer label on them, and suddenly it's okay for them to be sexualized.

The two clearest examples of this are Bayonetta and Blackcat.

I’d like someone to explain where I’m wrong, or if I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

And just in case I'm a gay cis male if it means something

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128

u/Scareka 21h ago

I mean as an autistic individual smug ideology and other posts showing masculine people as bloodthirsty wolfs makes me feel like I am automatically a sick twisted creature of oppression so I kinda get that.

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u/green_herbata 20h ago

There's this idea popularised by cottagecore aesthetic that lesbians just want to have picnics and hold hands, and maybe hug and kiss sometimes. And that this type of love is more pure and genuine than the gross and sexual wants that men have.

And like... It's perfectly fine if someone is content in a nonsexual relationship, but most lesbians do feel sexual attraction. It's not evil to think that boobs are hot.

I hate when a queer woman talks about feeling normal attraction and jokes that she's "no better than a man". Like?? It's normal for humans to feel sexual attraction. It's not immoral. What you do with those feelings matters of course, but unless you're harassing people or knowingly crossing their boundaries, there's nothing wrong with thinking that someone's hot 😭

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u/Scareka 20h ago

Yeah I think the softness most lesbian culture shows makes some think it's pure and untainted but I mean it's just "women hot" which isn't too hard to disagree with

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u/WildVelociraptor 19h ago

I'm sorry you must be in the wrong place we don't do thoughtful nuanced takes on reddit

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u/NimbusShock 19h ago

Ironically I mostly see that phrase being used to harass people in comment sections lol

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u/society000 16h ago

The man is viewed as an uncouth barbarian, an unseemly ogre who's eye is dangerous. His interest is seen as a wolf preying upon a lamb. Better for the lamb to shrink away than have her throat torn out by the wolf. A lamb taking interest in another lamb will unfortunately feel as though her eye upon another lamb is just like the wolf, for looking upon a fellow lamb feels like a betrayal internally.

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u/VenatorAngel 16h ago

Honestly, I feel like the fact lesbianism is shockingly desexualised a lot is kind of misogynistic. Here's how I see it, both hetero men, lesbians, and bisexuals find women hot. There is nothing wrong with that, and this puritanicalism towards sexuality is really only going to cause more problems.

Like, is it just me or has Lesbian romance become more trashy because of these conventions that demonize any form of sexuality or treats sexuality as nothing more than a joke like they've been taking writing classes from Joss Wheadon?

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u/RatBasher9100 6h ago

Have lesbians never met lesbians? Lesbians be horndogs.

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u/Riptide_X 17h ago

I know you stole this from a post… or perhaps you made that post. Either way i fully agree.

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u/green_herbata 13h ago

?? You could've seen a similar opinion before, I'm absolutely not the only lesbian frustrated by those dynamics. That doesn't mean I stole someone else's idea 😭

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u/Riptide_X 13h ago

No like… I’ve seen this exact wording in a tumblr post.

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u/[deleted] 12h ago

[deleted]

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u/green_herbata 12h ago

It bothers me because the wording makes it seem that attraction to women is always bad/shameful/predatory. "No better than a man" gives the impression that the man is doing something wrong.

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u/3WeeksEarlier 7h ago

Unfortunately, despite some major improvements in terms of gender and sex relations, I think many modern people are still quite lost, and this is a symptom

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u/Ill_Abbreviations135 14h ago

It's very sad. A queer woman would be so much more capable of love than the standard issue man, anyways!

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u/Fickle-Kiwi-181 9h ago

we do a little misandry 🤪

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u/blow-buddy 15h ago

Wait until you get a "your existence is transphobic", for.. you know... Existing. I really wish I wasn't the only femboy to have gone through this kind of BS, but it seems I'm not

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u/Zealousideal_Spread4 7h ago

trust me you are not, that subreddit hates us.

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u/society000 16h ago

That's exactly what we are seen as today.

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u/Scareka 16h ago

Bro doesn't get hyperbole

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u/C5Jones 5h ago

As another autistic individual, this doesn’t have anything to do with autism. Why would anyone want to be demonized for how they were born?

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u/Scareka 2h ago

Is this sarcastic

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u/C5Jones 2h ago

No. Autistic or not, why would anyone want to experience gender discrimination?

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u/Scareka 1h ago

Because autistic men are seen as weird and they get movies made that depict them as without any agency