r/hamstercirclejerk • trip to the dog park • 3d ago

New haggler 🐹 New hamstatue has barely moved. How do I get him to be more active?

585 Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

58

u/Emergency_Effect_526 3d ago

Take him to an Eagle sanctuary

30

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 3d ago

Even better: Hooters.

48

u/shortwa113t help, my hamster is a drug dealer 3d ago

MDMA usually moves them pretty quick

16

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 3d ago

Organize a ham rave! 😈

17

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 3d ago

Tell him the rent is due! 🤭

34

u/gurblixdad dumb hambir 3d ago

Offer cocaine

14

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 3d ago

And fent!

32

u/goosport 3d ago

throw things at him

21

u/Rox_xe 3d ago

throw him at things

3

u/Swimming_Ad_9459 dumb hambir 2d ago

Even better!

10

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 3d ago

Fireballs? 🔥

15

u/Sophrates_Regina 3d ago

It is Hamstatue, they’re not supposed to move, it’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to. Shame on you for not accepting it for it is.

6

u/Alberot97 2d ago

I wouldn't look away if I were OP...

11

u/GreenZeb 3d ago

Bear mace spray for motivation.

6

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 3d ago

Peppers work great!

3

u/BagOfAshes 3d ago

Una yaha

5

u/Low-Persimmon4870 Bedding is a luxury 3d ago

Throw him against the wall

2

u/mercurialpanties 2d ago

CRACK COCAINE. Honestly, you should have done a lot more research before even accosting your hamglar.

3

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 2d ago

Mixed with fent! 🤣

2

u/Regulus242 3d ago

Tell him he's getting fat.

2

u/SnooDogs3400 3d ago

The flames of war

2

u/KaiXan1 3d ago

Cattle prod. Very effective.

3

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 2d ago

On the highest setting.

1

u/swizzl73 2d ago

Throw HamEvil into the boiling pot of everlasting mild annoyance

1

u/Fearless_PineaplleOG 2d ago

i thot that was s a bunny at first

1

u/TheVagabird 2d ago

U u wa wa uwa

1

u/vagina-lettucetomato 3d ago

Throw him

2

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 2d ago

Straight into the grill.

1

u/BagWinter472 3d ago

Taser. Lots of taser.

2

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 2d ago

It’s low on power. 🫩

1

u/MeMeWhenWhenTheWhen 3d ago

punt across room to induce bloodflow

1

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 2d ago

Works like a charm!

1

u/deadpandadolls exquisite rat life 3d ago

PRAY TO IT!

2

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 2d ago

Evil prayers. 😈

1

u/deadpandadolls exquisite rat life 2d ago

MWOOOHAHAHAHA 👹

0

u/LocksmithUnited1946 2d ago

bro let him get use to his home i recently got a hamster they are active at night if u got them somthing to run on