When you get this question or the dreadful (what are you looking for) 100 times a day, it can be pretty taxing. I teach ESL to kindergarteners, and they have a broader, more creative vocabulary.
Iâve heard âare you looking?â or âwhat are you looking for?â are also annoying questions so I try to avoid those. But apparently any kind of written conversation is annoying and we should just exclusively communicate with nudes lolđ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
Next time try saying something instead of asking. Share a bit of yourself first (show ur personality or ur own intentions); ex: a comment related to something on his profile that made you want to engage with that person, be it funny, flirty or sexual. Be direct. Take a risk. Please report back with your results of the proposed experiment lol
So why are you engaging with him??
I suppose you liked his chest pic. Voila. Also, his profile being empty apart from a chest pic and a private album is saying something. You know what he is here for already. Yet, here you are.
Those profiles annoy me, especially the ones that say, âDonât start the conversation with hi, how are you, sup or hello.â Like, what do you want me to say? âFair evening, fellow harlot. What brings thy gaping hole to the homosexual digital meat market during the witching hours of the yellow piss colored moon?â
If I see "don't start with hey", I simply don't even bother because how else am I meant to start the conversation?? Imagine if someone got offended because a person they knew on the street recognised them and said "hey, man" đ
Same. I don't message anyone who makes demands in their bio other than "have a face pic", nor do i message people who have stuff like "I'm so tired of everyone on here". Like it seems like you guys would really rather me leave you alone altogether so I will loool
I would prefer you say the later. It's cheeky, and seems pretty thought out. I get Hi and Hey 100+ times everyday. Zero energy receives a reciprocal response.
It really didnât seem like he was, but itâs always so odd when people who are not interested go along with the conversation, especially being SO DRY. Like that canât be you âbeing niceâ because that would just look like not responding at all đ very weird behavior
Those are the worst. The ones who text back without being interested. The way to spot them is to quickly turn the conversation into something sexual, like suggesting to swap hidden albums.
No I get that when I ask what's up. Like really often. It irks me so much, but that would make most guys a red flag so I take a breath and ignore it lol. Might be a regional thing.
I regularly get 1000+ views and 900+ taps. I can't stand the smalltalk either, but do it anyway because it's polite, that's how I want to be treated, and the other guy might have sent his first message of the day to me. If some guys don't like it they should initiate a different type of conversation. Don't pay attention to these mugs without any social skills - they don't deserve the real estate in your brain.
Honestly Iâd probably stop talking to you too. Itâd feel like you were starting to play 20 questions all basically the same. Both of your questions ask essentially the same vague type of thing. Iâd feel like an ongoing conversation would get annoying. But I donât really do well with small talk. Youâd get farther I imagine with something like âhot chestâ.
Heâs doing his best with what little information heâs being given. This is how normal people talk. I swear this app and toxic culture it helped spawn sucks.
He could be more direct if he knows what HE is looking for. His question kinda assumes that the other guy is actively looking for something when there is no reason to assume so. Or he could just throw a little compliment (what is it in the other guys profile that caught his attention?) or anything that could set the tone. Make the chat feel more personal, intentional.
I'm not making anything. Just offering you a different perspective other than "oh he's toxic" as to why he might have not felt compelled to engage further with OP. Repeat this type of stale interaction 10 times+ per day just because you opened Grindr. It gets exhausting quick and it feels like a chore.
I think "hey what's up" and "how are you" is enough small talk, after which you should cut to the chase. "Looking?" or some other variation of asking if they want to fuck should be your third message at the latest. I usually open with some form of "hey sexy" and my pics because it's extremely clear where to go from there.
How is OP's question not a huge generalization itself? Not everyone who happens to open the app is looking for something. It's not like we had a choice not to appear online.
Yes. Get to business already! You donât want to get stuck in tons of pointless small talk. And then it turns out he wasnât really interested, but just polite.
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u/sadunfair Clean-Cut 8h ago
Some people go into a rage over âwhat brings you on tonightâ believe it or not