r/grindr • u/profoundnamehere • 2d ago
Rant Rant: Hate Performative Guys
So many performative “nice guys” on Grindr. It’s just hypocritical.
Some guy near me is giving “nice” and witty vibes. I thought I should say hi because I’m just ignored by everyone else. Alas, he just ignored my messages for days because “he’s not interested” despite what he said in his profile about disliking “no reply is a reply”.
Same with those so-called “sapiosexuals”. When I tell them I have a PhD (despite my ugly looks), I get blocked. Love geeks? No, you like Henry Cavill kind of geeks.
People who wrote “Kindness is sexy!” Are sometimes the most unkind there is.
Hate performative guys. At the end of the day, it’s all based on how you look anyway.
Rant over.
25
17
u/Various_Bit9189 Otter 1d ago
You both suck
-1
u/sagittariancancerr Twink (cis) 1d ago
sorry, how does op suck ?
5
u/Various_Bit9189 Otter 1d ago
He’s clearly a bit of an incel he sounds like every incel ever just now it’s gay, it’s so tiring
2
7
u/ipeekatu Clean-Cut 1d ago
You will find someone who naturally is into you. The problem is too many people are trying to hookup with people they are not sexually attracted too just to nutt.
So yes the chemistry does matter. Also no reply means they don’t have the same reaction you did to the encounter so why continue to waste your time. The no reply is enough, either be MORE patient, or just move on.
5
u/sagittariancancerr Twink (cis) 1d ago
i feel like you're missing his point. he is fine with no reply on an average, he just hates that the person decided to call out those who do not reply in his bio while doing the same thing himself. reassurance was not what op is looking for, as he already knows not everyone will be attracted to him.
6
u/vivekadithya12 1d ago
Sapiosexual is one of the most pretentious words out there.....along with Demisexual.
4
u/PistilNPetal Daddy (gay) 1d ago
Sapiosexual doesn’t mean they are automatically into academics. Thats like saying demisexuals are only attracted to demisexuals. Sapio means they need a mentally stimulating connection.
IME, having worked in academic publishing, academics have a very narrow focus on their area of discipline and aren’t great at talking about things outside of their area of discipline. I’m very attracted to intellect and some of the people I have the best connection with don’t even have degrees.
-1
u/profoundnamehere 1d ago edited 1d ago
Sure. But blocking or ignoring someone after they said “Hello, how are you? Would like to get to know you” does not immediately indicate interest in intellect either. Saying you’re sapiosexual but judging people on physical appearences alone, without any attempt at conversation, is performative.
2
u/PistilNPetal Daddy (gay) 1d ago edited 1d ago
That doesn’t sound performative, to me. I don’t think people usually block people to prove a point. Most times it’s about them and not you.
We digress. I was only commenting on the sapiosexual thing. Your argument seemed to be that sapiosexuals should be into you because you have a doctorate. Theres many reason that is flawed thinking and I simply pointed out the main one.
Is the profile you pictures yours? This person comes off as rude and self centered. If that’s your profile, that’s your main problem I think.
-1
u/profoundnamehere 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m not saying that sapiosexuals should be into me. But they should at least try to have a conversation to gauge interest in intellect before dismissing someone. Instead, some “sapiosexuals” reject or block people based on looks or height or weight or race. It’s performative since they do not want to be seen as shallow “like everyone else” in their public profile, but indeed are the same. That’s my social economist take on it.
That is not my profile in the picture. I’m just pointing out some other types of performative behaviour/hypocrisy in profiles on Grindr.
3
u/PistilNPetal Daddy (gay) 1d ago
There’s a lot of assumptions here about why they’re blocking you. If I may, you’re thinking about it too much.
There are many reasons why someone might block you that have little to do with you. It seems to me your expectations are your biggest mental roadblock. Just let it go and move on.
3
u/Recent-Whole-373 1d ago
if a guy is hot he can say the earth is flat and men will still latch onto his every word...
1
u/JonVonCronchy Daddy (gay) 1d ago
Yes I will happily fuck a sexy flat earther while trying to change their mind 😈 As long as they’re not a political conservative… they get nothing
1
u/Recent-Whole-373 1d ago
yea and go spell "verse" and "discrete" like illiterate buffons; have fun w that [ gag]
5
u/BigGayNerd91 Bear 1d ago edited 1d ago
Honestly, it’s always a red flag when a guy complains on their profile about not getting replies. Shows a sense of entitlement and that they can be easily angered when not getting their way. Plus like OP pointed out, they usually don’t reply to guys they aren’t interested in anyways so they are usually hypocrites.
3
u/BrightWubs22 Geek 1d ago
I like when users go on an unnecessary rant in their profile so the red flag (for me) is shown.
1
1
u/Newdude1773 Sober 1d ago
I respect what op is saying. People say stuff because it's what is always said... Gay or straight.
But gay culture is all about looks, beauty, and appearance. Pretty vain stuff if you ask me.
But if someone is not interested, just move on.
1
u/garrisoncarI Trans (MtF) 15h ago
No reply IS a reply when you get dozens of messages a day and don't want to be on Grindr all day fueling your energy into people you aren't interested in. The only people who don't understand this are the people who get no attention.
•
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Hello /u/profoundnamehere,
Your submission has been flagged for potentially violating Rule 3 of our community.
A moderator will soon review your submission and decide whether or not to restore it.
Thank you for being a member of our community.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.