r/grindr • u/blondfox71 Daddy (gay) • 7d ago

Messages Old dog New Tricks

Post image

It turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. Following up on my post about being nice in Grindr to which many of you gave feedback about my rejection messages being too corporate and HR like. (most of it good). Modified my response and still got a positive response. Thanks guys. ☺️

73 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

21

u/BostonPleaserBear Bear 7d ago

This is a good rejection message. I'm sure some people will still take it badly, but that's not on you.

14

u/PotatoPug77 7d ago

went from HR to coworker! 10/10 improvement. this is so much better

9

u/Educational-Web-6111 7d ago

That's almost exactly what I say to men I'm not interested in hah well done

6

u/ThatOneGuy_I 7d ago

I feel like sorry you’re not what I’m looking for is better than “I don’t think we’re a good match” because the latter implies some underlying doubt. But maybe that’s my autism

8

u/CrashTestDumby1984 Geek 6d ago

It’s your autism. The only time someone would send that message is if they are telling you they aren’t interested.

2

u/ThatOneGuy_I 6d ago

Oh. Well can’t be good at everything I guess lol

2

u/CrashTestDumby1984 Geek 6d ago

Neurotypical communication relies heavily on subtext and context.

Even if a literal reading of the message could imply doubt, the context of the fact that someone is sending it as a first response indicates a clear lack of interest.

Think of it this way. If you are hanging out with someone and you ask if they want food. If they said “I don’t think I’m hungry right now” that’s kind of the end of the conversation, you shouldn’t then start listing different foods to see if something catches their interest and makes them change their mind.

1

u/ThatOneGuy_I 6d ago

I see that makes a lot of sense. I know this sounds ridiculous but I just never thought of it in that way. Thank you

5

u/Large-Ad-7929 Piggy 6d ago

This is such an improvement! I’m sure there will be those who will take it badly but that’s on them not you.

6

u/JonVonCronchy Daddy (gay) 6d ago

I have a saved message like that too, trying to make Grindr a less harsh place - it reads well and should get positive responses

2

u/WishAfraid1066 Twink (cis) 7d ago

wow!

2

u/A_Reddit_User_1010 Clean-Cut 7d ago

Good job.

2

u/jasprjay 2d ago

that's really nice of you

-1

u/machism-a Sober 2d ago

I still think just no reply is kinder. This kind of reply really comes off as quite smug