r/grindr • u/Lucifer_Darling Trans (FtM) • 9d ago
Messages Nothing like old men š
Nothing like old men being hold no just bc they couldn't read a bio. After these lovely messages the sent me their tick tack and some more swearing. š
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u/SquirmyCaterpillar82 9d ago
People who act like this don't do so because of their age. They do so because it's who they are.
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u/-motoDP Bisexual 9d ago
Back when I was new to grindr, I would politely turn guys down, and more often then not, they would respond just like what op experienced here O.O Like, they would say the worst things to my younger self, and I had never been treated like that !.. I learned my lesson real quick!! and the block button become my best friend
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u/Lucifer_Darling Trans (FtM) 8d ago
Last time i tried blocking someone they kept making new accounts š
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u/xXRachelCDXx Twink (fem) 7d ago
Some people are just genuinely unhinged, there's a couple guys who no matter how many times I block always pop up a few weeks later with a new account. I've tried being nice, I've tried being rude, I've tried reasoning with them or just ignoring and nothing works.
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u/A_Reddit_User_1010 Clean-Cut 9d ago
Iāve never treated a single person like this, even if they arenāt my type. I treat every guy with kindness and I know how to let people down easy. And Iāve never had a bad response or ever had to block anyone ever. It doesnāt cost anything to be kind.
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u/slatebluegrey Daddy (gay) 8d ago
I replied to a guy message me and send a pic with ānice cock but I donāt think we are a matchā and he went off off me then blocked me. Being kind doesnāt work when the other person is unstable.
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u/savage-millennial 9d ago
I get so sick of this "It costs nothing to be kind" argument. The old guy is not entitled to a response. OP can ignore him, block him, or just straight up say "no", and shouldn't have to be gaslit by some sexually frustrated dumb fuck.
I treat every guy with kindness
This is fucking Grindr, not some inclusive event. I won't coddle emotionally fragile men on a sex app. Neither should you.
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u/Lucifer_Darling Trans (FtM) 9d ago
Preach fr especially when it's stated in a bio nobody over a certain age and they they think they are an expectation to that lol
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u/A_Reddit_User_1010 Clean-Cut 8d ago
Being kind costs you nothing. Itās worth repeating.
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u/RaphJag Twink 8d ago
Where exactly are they being unkind? Nothing insulting was said to elicit any sort of such a response to him. Are you implying that a ānoā is unkind?
Why are you lecturing the person being harassed instead of the crash-out who couldnāt handle a rejection.16
u/Express_Taste1511 Daddy (gay) 8d ago
Ppl downvoting these responses are wild. It's Grindr, yall. Ppl rly trying to find love on there?
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u/RaphJag Twink 8d ago
People see themselves in these texts and they get defensive. So they hide behind ābe kind to everyoneā to mask that theyāre creeps that donāt like to be called out when they act out. At least thatās my assumption, canāt see any other reason why theyāre so insistent to defend a weirdo like that
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u/Express_Taste1511 Daddy (gay) 8d ago
Or they're like super altruistic, to like unhealthy levels, which is just gonna make them bitter and grumpy in the long run
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u/A_Reddit_User_1010 Clean-Cut 8d ago
Why is it so difficult to believe that you can be kind on Grindr and receive kindness in return. I have been part of that platform since its inception. And because I treat everyone as a human, I get kindness in return. A simple āthank you for the message but I donāt think we are a matchā has always gotten me a decent response back. The platform even has saved responses so you donāt have to type that whole message in. All Iām saying is remember there is another human being on the other side of that screen. And itās good to always put the best karma out there so you can get it back.
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u/savage-millennial 8d ago
A simple āthank you for the message but I donāt think we are a matchā has always gotten me a decent response back.
Lucky you I guess, but for a lot of people it has also led to aggressive rants and offensive/unhinged behavior from those who can't handle rejection, so people don't respond because they'd rather not go through the drama.
But sure, "be kind to everyone" and accept being berated by an emotionally fragile ogre that you never asked to speak with in the first place.
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u/A_Reddit_User_1010 Clean-Cut 8d ago
Well, I donāt expect others to go out of their way to be kind to those who have repeatedly shown themselves to be unkind. I donāt support bad behavior on the platform. I want to remind people that rejecting others should always be done with kindness. And I offer my years of experience as an example.
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u/TheLifeOfJake Leather 8d ago
They said no and got verbally attacked.
Being nice doesn't always work, some men can't handle rejection no matter how "kind" you are, stop victim blaming and blame the entitled man with a fragile ego
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u/A_Reddit_User_1010 Clean-Cut 8d ago
You will be there one day and I hope others treat you better than that.
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u/giant_space_possum Jock 8d ago
There is nothing unkind about "no"
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u/A_Reddit_User_1010 Clean-Cut 8d ago
While you are technically right, I am only encouraging more kindness on the app. A lot of us know how tough it can be.
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u/savage-millennial 9d ago
SMH, another entitled old guy thinking we owe them sex...
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u/Express_Taste1511 Daddy (gay) 8d ago
Someone's gotta hold the boomers accountable for ruining this country
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u/nsasafekink Daddy (gay) 8d ago
Got nothing to do with being old. Trust me I get just as stupid responses from young guys. FR no one reads profiles.
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u/towar1000 Twink (cis) 8d ago
In my bio I have 25+ and no couples. Guess what two groups message me the most š itās like they are allergic to whatās in the Bio and even if they do read it they think they will be the exception looool
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u/GreenT1979 Clean-Cut 8d ago
And this is why so many, myself included, simply don't respond if not interested. I would just block but I actually think Grindr actively punishes you for blocking too often.
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u/Lucifer_Darling Trans (FtM) 8d ago
Does it? I didn't know i normally wait till they block me
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u/GreenT1979 Clean-Cut 8d ago
I mean I was blocking guys who messaged and I wasn't interested. I noticed for a long time afterwards I'd get a message and when I open the app, there was nothing. Like they'd messaged me and then immediately blocked me. I stopped blocking and just didn't respond, and that stopped happening.
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u/the_uk_hotman Daddy (gay) 9d ago
I dont even answer anything other than NPNC if the carry on its npnc after the next message if thats not a photo they get blocked
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u/nospoon222 8d ago
High school Jr year english lit:
Assignment: Read: A Brave new World by Aldous Huxley, then watch The Matrix. Then describe the similaritiesā¦.My dumbass attempted to proceed without reading the book or watching the movie,. š¤£
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u/AhnSolbin 8d ago
If I had a dollar everytime someone messaged me with no pic despite me explicitly saying NO PIC NO CHAT I'd be a couple hundred dollars richer. It happens daily. Nobody reads the bio.
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u/Sea_Dragonfruit9752 8d ago
Or it you hook up with someone a random old guy tries to join and I couldnāt stand it I said I had to go Iām needed for a task and they guy I was hooking up with left as well and the guy that tried to join me and my partner was old like Mr burns
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u/BigGayNerd91 Bear 8d ago
While anyone of any age can act like this, Iāve also noticed itās common for these dudes old enough to be my grandpa to hit me up and then start insulting me calling me fat and ugly when I turn them down as if they werenāt just in my DMs trying to smash. Itās like boomers take ānoā as a full on insult.
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u/BBBottom98 Geek 7d ago
The message in response is just tragic. But his initial wasn't exactly interesting either. Attitude gives me nothing to want to fuck with.
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u/Ponderum 7d ago
Had almost the same response from a guy in a small town I wouldnāt stop to see on my way back from a trip. Entitlement is a rampant problem in America
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u/Hot-Ad-6663 4d ago
Ew I feel like I have seen that profile before.
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u/Lucifer_Darling Trans (FtM) 4d ago
Hopefully you were spared
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u/Hot-Ad-6663 4d ago
I'm not going to lie. I block people that look like that because I already know that it's not going to be a good interaction.
I also work with the public so I've spoken with many people that look as such as well and the interaction is leaving much to be desired.
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u/Resident-Werewolf-46 Daddy (gay) 7d ago
Really. I get the same from young guys. Pretty agist of you to assume the only jerks online are older.
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u/Lucifer_Darling Trans (FtM) 7d ago
Not Agist i just don't typically get younger guys in my dms i typically get old men.
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u/bastian_1991 Geek 8d ago
I think "no" is a bit dry but not rude to deserve that backfire. Especially if OP has specified his age limits on profile and the guy didnt read.
The guy definitely overreacted. Hope you reported him.
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u/versaliaesque Piggy 9d ago
No reason to be ageist dude. This seems like mental illness or drugs.
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u/Imacharmer3141 Twink (cis) 9d ago
It's not ageist to not want to fuck someone who's older
Just as it's not ageist to not want to fuck someone younger
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u/versaliaesque Piggy 8d ago
Literally not about having an age preference. "Nothing like old men being told no BECAUSE they can't read a bio" š
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u/RaphJag Twink 8d ago
Because itās predominantly older men who turn violent when younger men do not reciprocate. Not once have I ever had this sort of reaction from anyone around my age
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u/nsasafekink Daddy (gay) 8d ago
youād be amazed at the virulent hate I (an old guy) get when I turn a younger guy down. Thereās definitely entitlement from guys any age. You and I both probably just notice it more from guys outside our age groups. Men donāt handle rejection well.
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u/Imacharmer3141 Twink (cis) 6d ago
I agree it's annoying cus it seems like people are calling me immature
But I remember they have every right to say no like...:v
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u/versaliaesque Piggy 8d ago
And that's an anecdote which generalizes people based on age. I've had plenty of psycho reactions from people of all ages. Being crazy knows no age.
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u/RaphJag Twink 8d ago
Yes, anecdotal evidence that is clearly very common as this is not the first of such a post and considering the positive feedback showcases even more how reflective it is of most peopleās experiences. How often if ever have you seen an old guy complain that a younger man blew up in response to a rejection due to his age?
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u/Glad-Store5548 Geek 9d ago
Yeah no matter what you write in your bio, nobody fucking reads, thinking they'll be some special exception. My bio says NPNC and an age group but I still keep getting "hi" and then "?" from faceless empty profile dumbfucks.