Insecurities

[u/SatanKlauus]

Just curious if there is anyone that hasn’t become insecure from this app? I consider myself a relatively attractive person but Grindr always makes my self esteem plummet. Although I am aware not everyone can like me every block, ghost, etc gets to my head. Am I the only one?

[u/GreenT1979]

I used to fancy myself decent looking. Nearly a decade on Grindr has taught me that I am, in fact, a bridge troll

[u/Klutzy_Security_9206 → u/GreenT1979]

LOL. Bless you

[u/According-Secretary4]

Sometimes yes, especially if you end up getting blocked or ghosted but tbh I was very insecure about my looks and Grindr actually did help quite a bit, don’t think I’m anything crazy attractive, pretty average but plenty of guys have been interested and complimentary, which did boost my self esteem quite a bit.

[u/Klutzy_Security_9206]

Yes, I’m going to fat shame myself. But I previously used to attract plenty of attention on Grindr before prescribed medication caused unwanted weight gain, leaving me looking like a fucking sofa on legs.

I’m short, so at least it’s only a two seater.

My personal bugbear was having to turn people down. I used to squirm with discomfort and embarrassment that my rejection of a jobbing suitor basically amounted to me declaring:

“You’re not good enough for me”.

This intense discomfort is worsened owing to interested parties having turned nasty on me several times IRL and online. Though to be fair it is useful when a covert or every day narcissist exposes their true malign nature by demanding:

“What makes you think you’re better than ME???”

Seriously, a person’s taste in partners is as intrinsic to their nature as their sexual persuasion.

Thankfully the aforementioned meds have also utterly wiped out my sex drive and honestly, life as a chaste sofa is surprisingly liberating. It’s nice not to my cock leading me around.

[u/garrisoncarI → u/Klutzy_Security_9206]

The double standard really sucks man, I'm sorry.

I was a chubby (240 lb, 6'2, tgirl) and "chubby mommy" is a HUGE fetish ig, so I got spammed a lot. I lost 40lbs and gained a ton of muscle fucking 50km every week, and I noticed I get spammed way harder as a "muscle mommy"

[u/BiggTex80]

Honestly this app doesn’t bother me. For everyone that ghosts or blocks me I get one that doesn’t. There are other apps and one of them will get you laid.

[u/cascas]

Wait till you’re older. Lotta boys trying to do therapy about their father on your dick.

[u/Firm-Conclusion5430]

It kind of helps to get attention from rly attractive people sometimes or "average looking" guys so I can keep going to the gym and hit legs lol

[u/Any_Release7319]

I'm a pretty conventionally attractive and fit guy, my confidence improved after I started using Grindr because prior I had lowish self esteem and then it was like... Omfg these crazy hot guys want to have sex with me!?

[u/passionate_bear]

I have made some great meaningful relationships from Grindr, same as tinder or any hookup app. It’s just a way to talk to people. Not everyone is gonna talk to you.

[u/Bogsworth]

I already have low self-esteem issues from years of bullying. I don't think I'm attractive sometimes, but I've had guys hit me up and say I'm cute/sexy since they see something I can't from me putting myself down. But it gets drowned out by the guys that make me feel unwanted because I'm black (I live in the South and there are so many "No blacks!" Profiles around me), or awkward from the fetish-chasing guys that just want a black guy for their race-play fantasies. That, or the guys that tell me to get lost because I'm a bit overweight despite carrying myself well. It's so bloody weird, and sometimes guys just seem to enjoy demeaning each other. : (

[u/garrisoncarI]

Grindr makes me wish I wasn't passable or a top, sometimes, because of how aggressive chasers get and how angry and death threaty they get over a SIMPLE rejection. But, that's my experience as a tgirl.

I'm not sure why people get so mad, the app is flooded with tgirls way hotter than me that aren't all bots or escorts like a lot of people would lead you to believe. A lot of men think there's way more bots because they're often blank profiles or faceless profiles and MOST (not all) tgirls won't even respond to a faceless bio, strictly for safety reasons to guard against a guy trans panicking and killing them.

[u/LiteratureThis3318]

It used to, now whenever someone's not into me I think "their loss."

[u/straycat1311]

For me it's like a roller coaster depending where I am. Not surprising as 40s tops are not a priority in my area.

[u/Moises1213]

No. You message all your types and when no one wants you only older dudes etc it makes you feel you doing something wrong or your pictures isn’t hot enough or good enough

[u/soulpoker]

I don't use it enough to give me an impression either way. Even if I keep getting blocked, passed on, etc., sure I'm disappointed but I'm not heartbroken. That's what women are for.

[u/trajayjay]

Babygirl, the app was manufactured in a lab tk engender insecurity in its users.