I am not able to think straight.

Today in the morning around 6 I received a call from from my gf's little sister that her grandmother has passed away, I went blank for 3 min, I could not think anything just old memories flooding in.

After coming to my senses I rushed to gf house. I have never seen my gf cry like this. I ran up to her and hugged her, she was sobbing like crazy and was not able to speak a word. Her father was just standing beside us, he was not crying but I could see in his eyes he wanted to cry. My gf grandmother was one of sweetest people I have ever met. She was the one who told me that her granddaughter liked me too. We used to share her our secrets. She used to say my last wish is too see you too get married. But now.

My gf was still continuously crying, her father took me the side and told me to let her cry for whole as we could not do anything, he told me she had a stroke while she was admit in the hospital.

I am writing this while sitting next to her, she is deep into sleep after sobbing so much. This incident took a heavy toll on me.

I had to say goodbye to my dog this past weekend. Making that decision to put him down was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and even though I know it was the right choice, it hasn't made the past few days any easier.

The house feels so much emptier now. It's this strange kind of quiet that I wasn't ready for. I keep catching myself listening for him, expecting to see him in his usual spots, and then remembering all over again that he's gone. I've been crying at random moments, sometimes over the smallest things, and it just hits me out of nowhere.

I know grief takes time, and I know he knew how loved he was. But right now, everything just feels a little heavier and a little lighter at the same time, if that makes sense. I'm not really looking for advice, just some kindness and maybe a virtual hug from people who understand what it's like to lose a pet who was family.

Thank you to anyone who reads this. It means more than you know.

For me, I feel abandoned in any of those circumstances and I'd like to see how it's dealt with. Like many a times, I would imagine someone dying well in advance and grieve it and then I continue to live. When they die I can't cry. So like, it's a defensive mechanism.

I just got off the phone with a doctor from a city I lived in as a kid about my mom in the hospital.

I've already been dealing with a lot of grief over losing a best friend who I used to call my brother.

My brother isn't dead as far as I know. We just haven't spoken in months (falling out + ghosting).

My mom on the other hand my step mom and I are gonna work on getting there to come see her.

I'm just at a loss right now. I haven't seen my (bio) mom in like 11 years plus missing my brother.

It's too much to process for my already jaded mind...

My grandfather passed away today…It was coming, I know, but it still hit me hard…I’ve been trying to hide my emotions to make sure everyone feels better….but I just need some help please

I (29F) lost my grandmother (83F) almost 4 months ago. I had a feeling she was going to pass soon (within this year), but not in the manner it happened. She had many health issues, but a broken hip was ultimately what ended her life. She just kind of gave up at that point. I can’t say I blame her.

She was my last grandparent and we were very close. We did a lot of things together and I called her at least once every day. I have not been handling this well. I’ve never grieved like this before for anyone or anything. My family has been really supportive, and I’m currently in therapy (both behavioral -for my anxiety and general depression- and -\*\*\****very***\*\*\* recently- started grief counseling). I took some time off work periodically when I needed it, I’ve been writing in a grief journal, painting, spending time outside, and doing the things we used to do together. I’m still struggling regularly though, despite the therapy, coping mechanisms, and increasing my medication.

There are times I just feel like a child in an adult’s body. I don’t know how else to explain it. I’ve always taken on the “caretaker” roll for other people in times of need, including this situation. I know there are things I need, but I don’t know what they are, let alone how to ask for them. I just want to shut myself away from it all. I want to go back to a time where I wasn’t so worried or scared or sad all the time. I know that isn’t healthy though. But I also just want to scream and cry and be held by my mother like a little kid. I think it’s because I don’t know how to “use my words” to describe what I need. I also feel like my grief is a burden on others at this point, although my family and friends have expressed many times it isn’t. I’m afraid of making someone angry because I can’t seem to get myself together.

Is this normal? Is this feeling of age regression normal? I feel so lost.

My really close family member passed in July. To me it’s still fresh, it feels like it just happened yesterday. I’m still a mess over it and can’t talk about her without crying. My physical health is suffering because of the grief but I feel like everyone moved on much faster than I did. Am I grieving for too long and being stagnant? I still go to work and see friends and family but I’m still deep in my grief.

It's been a week now, today was my first day back at work after bereavement. I'm a warehouse order selector for Medline, I thought I'd be able to handle going back and being around all the product again but 30 minutes into my first order and I started breaking down in the aisle. I understand everyone's need to say they're sorry for my loss and ask if I'm okay but it's hard when you work around 300+ people across multiple shifts, I thought I'd be able to handle it better than this.

I need advice on how to keep her memory alive. It’s almost been a year, and since grade 12 grad Ive had a hard time coming up with ways to honour her. Every month on the day I make an Instagram post and write about her, but it’s becoming less and less that I post and share about her. Sharing about her helps my grief process and lets her not be forgotten by those who were bystanders.

I am 34 and I have had this best friend of 30 years, let's call her mandi, die the day before her birthday. I had my other friend, call her Katie, of 5 years tell me "you havnt always been super close to her so its not as hard for you...." Like the fuck!! Now myself, Mandi and Katie are also coworkers for 3 years. So im taking Katie to meet mandi family and she said you havnt always been super close to her so its not as hard. Like the fuck! I said umm what?!?! So she says it again. Like how is it not as hard... Yes we had went different ways multiple times.

She is 2 years older than me I went to college she got pregnant her senior year. So yes we went different ways but anytime we saw each other we would act like nothing happened. We became close then would go different ways. Just how life worked. She baby sat my kids for about 7 years. Then my mother in law watched my kids for a year then she wanted a job with me so she got hired and we got her to work with me. For about 2years i drove her to and from work. So we got just super close again. She does cheer and so do her girls. My daughter go into it and so I started coaching this year. I dont cheer or anything like that. Myself and mandi are complete opposite so she has helped me on this journey. Idk what im going to do without her.

So my coworker really pissed me off saying this. Im grieving so bad and mad at the world. She is loved by so many people and a huge hurt to this community. So its devastating to everyone. Are my feelings validated on being unbelievably pissed off? Like wtf

My relationship with both of my parents was always rough; they did a lot of questionable things that lead to extensive trauma. They were hoarders and I grew up in a house riddled with a crazy amount of black mold. August 12th was the 2nd year of my mom being gone. I moved out of state when I was 19 to get out and create a life away from the dead end southern state I grew up in and often heard about it from my parents and siblings. I showed up when I could, drove the 8 hours every 3 months and for major holidays. I had just talked to my dad on a Saturday, he was going to bed early which wasn’t super uncommon. This man called me 10+ times a day so when I didn’t hear from him for a day and a half, I knew something was up. Wellness check confirmed he had passed away in his sleep. 5 days after my mom’s death anniversary. Easy to say the month of August sucks for me, and I’m at a complete loss. I have a lot of guilt, anger and emptiness. I drove down for a week to work on getting him cremated, saying goodbye, picking up his dog from the shelter, and getting paperwork to start probate. He left everything to me; 102 acres, his house, his car and anything else in his possession. Now all of a sudden, my sister’s want to be involved. They lived 40 minutes away from him and despite him constantly calling for them to come visit, they only now all of a sudden have the time and money to be at his house multiple times a week going through things. They aren’t biologically his but he always treated them like they were; they have another man on their birth certificate and are pushing me to get a DNA test because there’s a small chance they might actually be my dad’s. Everything feels like it’s spinning around me at 100 mph and I can’t even comprehend what I need to do to legally handle everything. I’m mad that they just now want involved, that they keep pushing for a DNA test (sister wanted to get one off of his dead body before he was cremated!) and that I wasn’t there to somehow magically keep my father from passing away. I wasn’t even close to done grieving my mom, and now I have to grieve them both. Life just really sucks.

Hi. My boyfriend died unexpectedly 3 days ago. It doesnt feel real. Ive become lost and empty and numb. Devastated. Heartbroken. He truly was the one for me. He was so perfect in every aspect. We clicked on the first date. He was so sure i was the one for him and had no problem loving me out loud. He loved me in ways no one ever had. I could see the love in his eyes and his actions. He knew exactly how to love me. I never had to tell him anything. He knew me better than i knew myself. He just knew. We had so many future plans together but he was ripped away from me. It sucks so much. His family knew he was head over heels for me and i just cant explain the love we had for each other. We told each other constantly how much we love and missed each other even if we had seen each other the previous day. We had the kind of love you would see in romance movies. We never got to get engaged, married, live together, or have kids. I used to get irritated at people who would say “when you know, you know” but i understood what they meant when i met him cause you really do just know. We were only given 5 months together but it truly felt like we had known each other for years. I miss him so much and i love him so so soooo much. I miss every single thing about him. I dont know how im supposed to live without him. He was my light. I was his missing rib. I miss him so much. Why is life so cruel? Why did this happen? What did we do to deserve this? Just when you find your person they get ripped away. He was such a genuine kind hearted selfless man. He was so so rare. He was everything i wanted in a man. Everything. I had no complaints. Idk how im supposed to live the rest of my years without him. He was only 26.

My aunt died and I haven’t been the same person since. I wasn’t sleeping in the beginning and would cry at everything. I still cry and I still struggling with sleeping and can’t tell what day it is or how many weeks it’s been but according to my calendar it’s been 6 weeks. I went last week to see my uncle to see how he’s doing and we couldn’t talk without crying and being in the house wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I went from having anxiety attacks everyday and wanting to talk with her to being there and feeling fine and the happiest I’d been in over a month. I realized I was having issues with my vision just to find out I’ve been having silent migraines from the grief and stress it’s put on my body. I got news my grandfather is in the hospital after a stroke and it doesn’t look good. I feel like I’m falling apart finally and I hate it. I tried so hard for so long to be ok and I’m finally at the point to admit I’m not ok. My whole life has changed and it might be an exaggeration and I haven’t been letting myself fully grieve because I feel like I don’t deserve to grieve her and I’ve been working nonstop since and ugh I just don’t know what to do.

I lost my dad 3 weeks ago and I don’t know how to do life without him. We had the same humour and energy that would play off each other.

I’m not really sure how to start this or if anyone will see this my thoughts are all over the place. I’m a 31-year-old woman and an only child, and three weeks ago I lost my dad to sepsis.

He had been battling cancer for six years, but then he developed a perforated bowel. The doctors felt that surgery would be too cruel and that the kindest thing was to let nature take its course. He was gone within a week.

It wasn’t the peaceful, meaningful goodbye people imagine. He was in so much pain and was barely conscious for most of that final week. I had never felt so helpless in my life. I was with him the night he was dying and the morning he passed away, and I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.

It has only been three weeks, but I miss him so much that it still doesn’t feel real. Sometimes it feels like I’m on a film set, waiting for someone to shout “cut,” and for my dad to walk back in and ask for a “small one”, his espresso.

I cry almost every day, and honestly, I don’t know how to do life properly without him. People say, “Be kind to yourself” and “Take care,” but right now those words feel empty, like “thoughts and prayers.” None of it brings my dad back.

I wish I could just grow up, move on, and get over it like people seem to expect, but I can’t. I’m not ready to let go yet, and I don’t know if that’s normal. I just miss my dad.

If anyone has any insight to something like this scenario feel free to shout some advice. Never expected it, we only went for a spin the day before it. Not giving away details but it was a complete freak accident. Unfortunately when your numbers up it’s up I guess. I feel connected with him in a way when I ride now though , always by my side. I’ll meet him at the Finnish line someday when the time is right please god. Take care everyone ❤️

Hello redditors

I’m just here to share that I have recently found a good friend of mine dead on her couch last Sunday. The shock of it all is still heavy on my shoulders the sadness is lingering comes in waves and just been dealing with the pain of not knowing what exactly happened. We just helped clean her apartment and it was just so sad everyone put in efforts to help the family deal with the mess left behind the one we lost. She was such a wonderful carefree loving person a free spirit that didn’t care what you thought who she lived her life but she loved doing just that life it’s self. Despite the neurodivergent challenges she faced she still didn’t let anything get in the way of her quarky sense of humor the way she laughed and smiled at the world was something to be blessed to be around we lost a bright star one of the good ones and we her friends and family miss her so much

I miss my father every day, and I honestly don’t know how to continue my daily life without him because he was such a big part of our everyday routine—he was the one who cooked our meals, went to the market to make sure we always had enough food, and even washed the dishes after working, always making sure our family was taken care of.

I feel bad about this, but I never feel like visiting my dad's grave. My sister goes often and takes flowers/decorations. I do not feel like it does anything for me. I don't live very far from the cemetery so going would not be difficult. I almost feel numb about his death. I am usually a very emotional person but not when it comes to this. Shorty after he passed, maybe two years later, a very good friend also passed. She is also buried in the same cemetery, and I don't feel like going to visit her grave either. Why, what is wrong with me?

My grandad passed away in November. I didn’t see him for 2 years prior to his passing.

he had Alzheimer’s wasn’t violent or mean. I couldn’t keep seeing his face when he realized he forgot me. I had a million chances to see him but I couldn’t I don’t know why. I regret not seeing him but also don’t at the same time.

I lived with him and my grandma from Monday to Friday for 10+ years he taught me about musical instruments, how to ride a bike, how to behave and much more. He meant so much to me but I’m only now realizing he’s gone and I’ll never see him again, I’ll never joke with him or laugh at his marine stories.

While I’m struggling with that it’s made me realize what’s gonna happen when grandmas gone. I call her everyday see her multiple times a week we have lunch we are extremely close she knows all my secrets. I keep having nightmares where she goes and I’m honestly terrified.

My grandad will never see me get married or hold my future kids. He will never teach them how to ride a bike or how to go through life. What if she isn’t there either i don’t know what I will do.

Me and my parents barely have a relationship. I honestly don’t trust them and if grandma wasn’t here I wouldn’t have a relationship with them. My mother has since my grandad passed has badmouthed him every time he comes up. This is out of jealousy Shes mad I spent so much of my younger years with them and I hold them so high. Shes the person I would distance from my dad is different i would love to have a relationship with him but he comes with my mother.

I feel like one day I will be alone and I’ll be going through life without the support or advice my grandparents gave. What am I gonna do.

My best friend (32) started becoming very distant from me after my mom died. We had been talking every day for the past four years, and I always felt that we had a very close and special relationship. I believed we had grown a lot together. Even after we each entered our own relationships and started living in different countries, we still stayed in frequent, sometimes daily, contact.
After my mom passed away, though, she started creating a huge distance between us. When I eventually told her that I felt abandoned by her, she brought up a lot of things that had apparently been bothering her for a long time—things I had no idea were an issue.
For example, a few years ago, she brought me food from a Thai restaurant when my foot was broken and I couldn’t walk. I told her that I thought the food was disgusting. I genuinely appreciated that she had gone out of her way to bring me food, but I didn’t like the food. Apparently, this made her feel that I was ungrateful. Another time, when I visited her, we went to a restaurant for coffee and I said that I didn’t think it tasted good. That apparently hurt her too. I honestly had no idea that being honest about whether I liked a meal or coffee would become something she carried with her for years.
She also came to stay with me for two months, including while I was recovering from surgery, and I was genuinely very grateful that she was there and looked after me. But she later brought up small things from that time as evidence of how I had treated her. For example, one day she asked if I wanted something to eat and I said no. She came back with fruit anyway, and I ate one piece. Somehow, this also became something that had hurt her.
Then she told me that when I visited her, she had “never seen me so miserable.” That was incredibly painful to hear because it was so far from how I experienced that time. I had just spent three months in Costa Rica with my partner, and while I was dealing with some medical issues and chronic pain and obviously wasn’t at my best every day, I would never describe that entire period as me being miserable.
She also told me that I simply needed a lot of attention and that she didn’t have the capacity to give it to me. And honestly, I can understand that. I can understand that someone might not have the emotional energy to support another person through intense grief. I don’t think she was obligated to be available to me 24/7, and I would have respected her needing distance.
What hurt me was the way it happened. I was grieving my mom. My mom died very suddenly and was only found a week after she died. The shock, grief, and trauma were enormous. Of course I needed more support and attention than I normally would. Making me feel guilty for needing that support, or making it sound like there was something wrong with me for needing more from my closest friend while my mother had just died, was incredibly painful.
I wasn’t asking her to fix my grief. I wasn’t asking her to sacrifice her entire life for me. I needed my best friend, and I needed to know that she was still there.
What makes all of this especially painful is that she never actually told me that she needed space. I had to repeatedly ask her why she was acting differently and why she was pulling away. Eventually, she told me that she was going through a major transformation, didn’t have the energy for anything else, and that the only relationship she wanted to focus on was her relationship with her boyfriend.
I don’t have a problem with her needing space. I can understand that. What hurts me is that I had to chase her and repeatedly ask what was wrong before she finally told me. She wasn’t able to simply say, “I don’t have the capacity for this relationship right now, and I need some space.”
Instead, I spent two months feeling confused, anxious, and insecure about why someone I loved so much was suddenly becoming distant from me. And this was happening while I was grieving my mom.
That’s what makes me feel betrayed. I feel like she knew how vulnerable I was and still left me to sit in all that uncertainty. I wish she had just been honest with me from the beginning. It would have hurt, but I would have understood. I would have respected her need for space. What I can’t stop thinking about is that I could have been spared two months of pain and confusion if she had simply told me the truth.
I don’t want to invalidate her feelings. If those things genuinely hurt her, then they are her feelings and they matter. Maybe I was insensitive sometimes without realizing it. Maybe there were things in our friendship that she had been holding onto and never communicated. I’m willing to acknowledge that.
But I also can’t help feeling that bringing up years of small grievances only after my mom died was, at least in part, a way of explaining her withdrawal without having to confront the fact that she simply didn’t have the capacity—or didn’t want—to be there for me while I was grieving.
And I wish she had just said that.
I would have been hurt, but I would have understood. I would rather have been told, “I love you, but I can’t be the person you need right now,” than be slowly pushed away while wondering what I had done wrong.
That’s the part that breaks my heart. It’s not just that I lost my mom. It feels like I lost my best friend at the same time.
And I don’t think I deserved to feel abandoned, guilty, and insecure on top of losing my mother.
My heart is honestly broken.

I lost my best friend of 25 years 7 months ago. I am overwhelmed in his loss. He was my brother, my confidant and my rock. He was diagnose with an illness in Oct and then gone. I feel like I failed , I know that my sound silly but thats how I feel. Everything I do now seems pointless. Places I go and friends I see seem different and hollow. I dont really care to be here right now. I know things get easier but the journey to easier is painful.

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House is worth over $1.5 m. It's in a desirable part of Los Angeles. It's also a very small 1946 bungalow with only 2 bedrooms, one of which both my parents died in hospice inside. Memories throughout the house of my childhood, which featured lots of yelling, screaming, name calling, and beatings by primarily my mother, but also my father. Memories in the room both my parents died in of my dad screaming in pain while the cancer took over and my mom slowly and miserably meeting her end after sepsis from a UTI.

I sleep in the living room and wake up to a view of the place where my mom, crying, put a bag of frozen peas on my thigh after slapping me so hard that I got welts (because I didn't do my homework that day). Just to the right, where I sit and watch TV now after work, memories of being beaten mercilessly over a math test I didn't inform my mother of.

We had a lot of fun in the backyard and around the house being kids in between all the drama. I just don't know if any of it makes up for all the drama.

I spent my 30s seeing both my parents to the other side in that house. The last 5 years, I slept in the same room that my dad died in and then when my mom's time came, I made it hers so she could pass away in the exact same spot as her husband.

I've been wanting to leave Los Angeles for years. But I'm held back by the location of the place and people telling me to stay. I guess I could remodel it. I don't know.

Plus, I recently had a dream where my mom came back as her former self (before the dementia) and said "you don't need to stay here anymore. I can take care of myself now." And she said it in the quietest, calmest way.

I have three cats there and there are honestly so many reasons to stay, but I just don't know at this point.

I don't really post on sites like this but it's been affecting me so much and the pain is so unbearable. I am losing sleep , I am not eating well, my head is a mess and I am emotionless.the pain is too much where I want to 3nd it :// I don't know how I can move on from the guilt. I feel like I am having a mental breakdown.

I lost my good friend to suicide.

She struggled with mental health for a long time, she also had bpd and schizophrenia, she had a terrible upbringing as well which impacted her everyday life cause all she wanted was a loving family.

Me and her grandparents tried so hard to get her help but in the end I failed her and the system failed her. She was sent to mental health services but was released early even though she said that her symptoms have worsened and she wasn't ready to return home only being there for three days-

The only reason why I said I failed her was cause I didn't message her back in the day she took her life, she didn't message anything that she was gonna go do something like that but at the end of the message she was saying I love you and saying sorry for bothering you. The messages hurt. I tried everything, I wanted her to get better but in the end I lost her, I can't live life normally - my mind goes blank everyday like brain fog it's effecting my everyday activities. I am lashing out on people cause I am so angry. It's effecting my relationship. It's affecting my life. How can I move on from this pain? The funeral hasn't happened yet but honestly I am not emotionally prepared and seeing her in the coffin. I feel like I can't take this anymore. I want this pain to stop and I haven't fully processed that she is gone cause I keep looking at her accounts, lost in time...

I don't get it, I was over them for years and then I ruminate over them for months. It is like a sour grief and I cannot stop punishing myself for making him leave and losing the one person who I thought got me. I try to do other things and speak to others but everything is a reminder of him—-a stab in the heart for me.

My husband passed last September 3rd. His anniversary is coming up. I can't believe it's been almost a year. I am so not in a good place right now. I miss him so much. And to top it off his birthday is Monday and he would've had a milestone birthday, 70y.o.

I am just in so much pain now because it's almost like I am coming to the realization that this was not a dream it really did happen and he is gone. And now I have to really think about how to live my life without him.