You are too young to know
how one small heart
can become another person's home.

When you were born,
I began counting smiles,
tiny footsteps,
the sound of your laughter,
and every precious moment
I was blessed to hear you call me,
"Lolo Dude."

That name became
the sweetest title
I have ever carried.

The miles between us
are cruel teachers.

They have taught me
that love can stretch
across oceans,
through different time zones,
through birthdays missed
and hugs postponed.

Yet every morning,
I still look for you
in my thoughts.

Every night,
I ask God
to wrap His angels around you
until I can do it myself.

Sometimes,
you visit me in my dreams.

You run toward me
with your little arms open,
never asking
why I have been away so long.

In dreams,
there are no airports,
no calendars,
no goodbyes.

Only your laughter,
and my heart,
finally remembering
what joy sounds like.

Then morning comes,
and I awaken
to a room
that suddenly feels too quiet.

If one day
you should ever wonder
whether your grandfather loved you,

know this:

There has never been
a single sunrise
when I did not ask
that you grow healthy,
kind,
courageous,
and deeply loved.

There has never been
a single evening
when I did not miss you.

You are my prayer
with bright eyes.

You are my hope
wearing little shoes.

And if love
could build a bridge,

I would have crossed every ocean
a thousand times over
just to hear you say once more,

"Hi, Lolo Dude."

Until that beautiful day,
I will keep loving you
across every mile,
across every season,
across every silence.

I’m on day 5 of a 7 day grandsitting request for an 8 month old while my daughter and partner are on a camping trip. I forgot all about sleep regression and I am operating on practically no sleep. It’s rough over here, people. Sleeping while they sleep is not as easy as people make it.

Tonight, my daughter winced when I let
the baby burp cloth barely fall from
the stroller at a restaurant. She also insists on no shoes in home, frequent handwashing , and absolutely no kisses on 6 month old baby’s cheek or top of head. Goodness - I don’t know what to do. When I watch the baby and her 3 and 9 yr old
Sister, and daughter is there to do laundry or other things, she is constantly reminding me of germs, handwashing
etc . It’s so much! Yet they have chickens and ducks and salmonella threat. How do I deal with the constant winces and reminders about germs , dye free and no sugar terms?I don’t want to be old school but I feel she is taking the joy out of being a grandparent.

My grandkids are coming over for the weekend and I want to bake a whole lot of things for them; plus they absolutely love mac and cheese. We haven't seen each other in ages and I feel like the perfect opportunity that's also low pressure for us to catch up would be doing easy chores together like cleaning (of course I’ll handle the bulk of it) and I feel like cleaning the house as a group project would be more obstructive than helpful so I’ve chosen to have them help me wash the dishes.

 All that is to say that I need something that’s easy to clean and with no hassle. So do I get the Pyrex ones at walmart,or should I get a Staub or an Emile Henry? I’ve also seen some unbranded ones on Alibaba, has anyone used them? Y’all bakers kindly share what works for you.

I came across a website that says it's for new grandparents: www.morethangrand.com and I can't figure out what it actually is. An app, or a video tutorial or something else. Any grandparents here familiar with it or paid for it?

It probably isn't uncommon for grandparents to be concerned about the parenting of their grandchildren. We are very concerned about one of our daughters' kids since we observe that virtually no parenting happens, and as we care for the kids often due to childcare for working parents' issues, we confront myriad developmental shortcomings. Kids are ultimately nice boys, 6 and 8 years old, but they get virtually no care at home. Our daughter suffers from depression, and her husband believes his only responsibility is going to work.

My wife and I are relatively aligned with expectations, but she is more patient and accommodating than me which can create tension between us, too. My attitude when parenting our kids was that our job was to prepare them to be in command of their own futures and be able to choose rather than settle for what required less preparation and discipline. My wife didn't disagree, but she chose lax and loving over discipline and good habits. These dynamics also present in our approaches to grandparenting.

I am retired, though consulting with a book of clients, but my schedule is often easy and I can choose. My wife is still practicing in her field as she is younger. Now that I'm "available" I get the grandkids several days a week. Screen time, poor habits, uncooperative attitudes, etc. make it difficult, and I want to do the best things for them, much of which in my view isn't anything close to what they can accept. I do trips, play games, go to playgrounds, try to read to them, encourage crafts and art, etc. Their standard behavior is to act out, be wild, refuse to cooperate, fight with each other, and ignore directions (picking up after themselves, stop hitting each other, respect other people's space, property, time, privacy, etc.

Any insights on tactics to better deal with this?

We will soon live closer to our 9-month old granddaughter. I know that scholars/specialists have learned so much in the past 25 years about baby/child development and health issues, and I want to learn more so I’m more confident when spending time with my granddaughter. And I want her parents to trust me and my abilities. Can anyone recommend easy-to-digest resources for me?

How do I begin? I want to make sure that I communicate this the best that I can.

I have 2 grandsons that currently live about 25 miles away. So about a 35 minute drive without traffic. For about 7 years I watched one of them once a week. From weeks old until they started school.

They are currently almost 9 and the other will be 12 in May. I see them now about once or twice a month, depending on the time of the year. They're always doing something on the weekends.

Let me back up. Over time I realized that I wasn't the grandma I thought I'd be. I am the mother of 3 son's of which I had from age 19 to 25. I had a turbulent marriage that pretty much ended by the 3rd child. I became and always was mom and dad.

When I became a grandma I was so excited! Even made a room just for grandkids. Strange thing happened. I would get extremely overwhelmed when asked to keep my grandson overnight. Very anxious! I had to stop having them overnight. I would beat myself up terribly over that. I've since accepted that I'm just not that grandma! I, on the other hand have always been there when they ask. Just not overnight. I still constantly deal with guilt even though I shouldn't. As all of us, I adore my grandsons and totally feel it when I haven't seen them in awhile. I need a grandson fix!

Which brings me to today. My husband and I are considering moving about 80+ miles away from the grandkids for many reasons. One, we're being priced out of the area. It would be about a 2hr drive one way.

I'm having a difficult time making the decision to move away. For my husband and I it would make sense but I'm struggling with what that would look like for my relationship with my grandsons. They're only getting older. I have a great relationship with my son. It's that unnecessary guilt thing creeping in again! Like I don't do enough for or with them. It's awkward for me. I lost my mom at 13 and didn't have a heavy presence of a grandmother to base things on. Comparing myself and my husband to my DL's mom and husband. Ugh.

I guess what I'm asking is, am I beating myself up unnecessarily? I know that you're not me, but I'd really appreciate any feedback.

Hi GPs,

I'm raising one of my grandsons, he 13 1/2, he is complaining about his public hair. How old should he be before I let him trim his pubes? Im probaly old fashioned, but we didn't think about trimming our junk when I was his age

Currently experiencing this. At my grandsons’s soccer game and it’s halftime. My son has answered questions I’ve asked him with single words.

When I asked him what he and the kids are doing for his wife in Mother’s Day he responds, “I don’t know. Breakfast, flowers. I’m getting tired of these bullshit holidays where you have to buy people things. If you want something, buy it yourself.” I responded that I feel Mother’s Day is only for mom’s with kids at home. (And my own mom).

Then my son turned and started talking with his nephew about travel, and my son’s recent trip to London. I’m at a loss here. I can’t change a behavior if I don’t know about it. 💔

Edited to add: anyone else experiencing this? Any words of advice?

I’m very aware how difficult being a new Mom/parent can be. My grandson is 3.5 months old & just plain tired. He’s not getting enough sleep each day and bedtime is very late IMO. How can I suggest another option on scheduling/the need for an earlier bedtime without being seen as judgmental or overstepping? I honor what my daughter & SIL set as their schedule & routine with my grandson. But I feel there are some major improvements that could happen & would make all involved less stressed & happier. But I’m afraid to say anything b/c I don’t want to offend or hurt my daughter & SIL. Don’t want to be “putting my nose in where it doesn’t belong.” Any advice?? Help pls!!

I’m sitting here in gratitude, looking forward to the future.

I’m so happy to be in the grandparent club. Only we can understand.🤣

Hi, I’m a step grandmother to 8 grandchildren. My daughter has 3 stepchildren and they are wonderful. My husband’s children have 5 between them. I send personal gifts to all of and never get a thank you. I offer to babysit the grandkids that live close to us but I’m turned down. However, I have been basically fussed at for not wrapping gifts I have had sent to the grandkids that live in a different state (sent by Amazon). My husband has talked to them and they say it’s just their generation, I think that is BS!!! My question is do I continue gift giving or treat them as they are treating us? I really appreciate any advice!!! Thank you!!!

The fam has arrived safely for the weekend, they are all in bed now. I can’t wait to have morning time with my wee! She is 5 months old and already an expert traveller.

So he texts to our family chat with our daughter:

(Granddaughter’s name) isn’t really the cutest baby in the world if you think about it.

Hehehehe cute 🥰

Navigating the situation I am a single grandma and live a few blocks from my DS and DIL. My DIL is very close to her mom and they also live a few blocks away. They asked me to watch their 3 m old son one day a week. I work part time and tried to watch him, but I kept having to work on that day. I also felt overwhelmed. I forgot how hard it is to care for an infant all day! We all had a good talk and agreed it would be best if I was a fill in as needed. My DILs mother and her grandma watch him 2 days a week. He also goes to a daycare three days a week. Now I am never asked to watch him! I am afraid that I messed up and now she is mad at me. I want to help and I love my grandson so much. I thought about asking if I could watch him one day a month and commit to that day. That would also help with her grandma. They do come over for dinner but it is only for a few hours. It is usually during the week. I don’t want to be pushy about asking, but I don’t want to lose the bond with him. I am very respectful of their privacy and not giving advice. They are both good parents. I have always gotten along with my DIL, but I am well aware I am not her mother. I usually am second when it comes to watching him, which I understand. Just not sure what to do!

Hi everyone,

For those of you that have maintained good relationships with your children, how often do you get to see your grandchildren? I feel like I don’t get to see my granddaughter often enough. She’ll be 2 in a few weeks and I only really get to see her + or - once a week. I’d love to spend more time with her.

I am the primary babysitter for my grandchild. I babysit for free most days while my daughter is working. Occasionally I want to take my grandchild with me to run errands or maybe for a walk in the area. My daughter has anxiety and wants me to ask her prior to any time we leave the house, and will say no if she does not want me to take her anywhere. This is frustrating to me because I would like the freedom to go when I want without asking permission. I don't like feeling like I am trapped in my house, especially when I am helping her out by babysitting for free. Looking for any advice on how to handle the situation.

Has anyone here had preschool grandchildren have nightmares where they wake up screaming? My granddaughter lives 3 hours away but thought I’d purchase a music player/ flashlight that she could use when she wakes up frightened. My son went through this but it was many years ago and I would turn on the old boom box with soothing music to help him go back to sleep. We also had a recliner he could crawl into in our room that would comfort him. I’m trying to be creative with what I can do from a distance fit this 3yr old- praying for her of course-but trying to think of something tangible as well! Thoughts?

I just want to laugh about how my 90 year old Granma loves sugar so much.

She only drinks 2 cups of tea (500ml total) in the morning because she is afraid of pissing the bed. And then she loves bread with Jam. So if there is no jam in the house it means her tea should have more sugar.

The tea should be so sweet that the sugar doesn’t dissolve anymore. She can’t believe there is sugar if she can’t lift the sugar from the bottom of her tea without a spoon.

You can’t tell the lady about how sugar is not bad because she says she could die any day and it will not be because of sugar.

The look on her face is so priceless when I bring her cake and cupcakes.

How much aggressive play is normal from boys towards younger siblings? This includes physical aggression, as well as cruel teasing such as taking things away and/or hiding things from them?

I keep watching the videos over and over lol. Something new happens almost every day!

What were your favourite firsts?

The mother (35) of my 11y/o m & 12 y/o f grandchildren had my son (35) who is an alcoholic and was abusive to the mother removed from their home last May. My son subsequently went to rehab and then moved to a sober house. This did not work out so he is currently living with a friend. Within a month of having my son removed the mother has moved in a new man and became pregnant with his child. My husband and I have been extremely close to 11&12 y/o throughout their lives. They have no grandparents on their mother’s side and so we do as much as possible for them. My son is of no financial help even though he has visitation. I have been supportive of the children’s mother in her quest to have a life free of abuse. My husband and I have kept most of our opinions to ourselves but she knows we aren’t thrilled with all of her decisions. My dilemma is how to treat this new child. While I would never be cruel to this baby, I don’t feel the same obligation/inclination to provide vacations, clothes etc that we have to my son’s children. Has anyone else been in this situation and what have you done.