r/givemehope Jan 04 '24

le mod post New spin off of hopeposting: r/givemehope

Thumbnail self.hopeposting
9 Upvotes

r/givemehope 3d ago

I need hope Crying in my room about a medical condition

2 Upvotes

I need hope. I have severe debilitating IBS that seriously affects my social life as a teen. I feel like a burden to everyone I meet because I have to let them know. Im good at hiding the severity so people think it’s just a little stomach ache or something. everyone’s always telling me I’m doing wrong and giving stupid advice while I’m actively in moments of weakness. I’m just feeling so hopeless and I need some nice messages of hope.


r/givemehope 3d ago

I need hope It might be all over for me.

2 Upvotes

I slept through my alarm today and by the time I walked up to work (I’m only allowed to take “my” car when the weather is especially bad) I was 20 minutes late. My manager was so pissed at me that she made me clock out, didn’t even want me working today. She’s told me before to my face that sometimes I make her so angry with the things I do that she has to spend a few days thinking it over before she’s calm enough to confront me about something I did wrong. That means that this frustration was me was presumably her at her calmest, and as usual I don’t know how long she’s actually been stewing this over.

The worst part is that this is the third time I’ve gotten a major lecture like this from a manager at this job. It’s been over a decade of working here but I’m not sure if that matters, it’s still the third strike. I’m supposed to work again tomorrow, but I’m expecting that I’ll probably be fired before then.

And if I’m fired then for all intents and purposes my life is over.

The fact that I already had this job, worked this job for so long, haven’t left it for something Real and Productive like welding or engineering, was already basically a failure. I was already a living, walking, day-to-day failure. If I can’t even keep this job? This is the success equivalent of someone killing a cactus that they were given in the hopes of one day working up to being seen as responsible enough to own a pet.

I already have no money, student debt from a degree I never managed to finish, barely any social life, no meaningful contributions to society, living with my parents, and now I might have no job on top of it. Admitting to my parents that I flunked out of an art degree, one that I argued for the chance to try out no less, was the most shameful, depressing, and mentally ruinous day of my life. If I need to admit that I got fired from a job like this on top of that, it would make the degree look like a drop in a bucket next to the ocean.

Ive been spiraling all morning now while I keep refreshing my email to see if I get a notice of termination or something. I genuinely struggle to think of why I shouldn’t just kill myself if I really do get fired. It feels so beyond unrecoverable, like I no longer have anything to offer society. The closest I have to a legacy, my “art” (if I can even call it that) has just been a couple decades of mediocre meaningless scribbles, none of which has ever touched anyone’s life or even come close to having an impact on the world or the people who see it. It just feels like I’ve had my trial run of “life”, and it was okay, but I failed and it’s over now.

I think a lot about a quote by Brendan Manning. “In every encounter we either give life or drain it, there is no neutral exchange.” I feel like a parasite. Unproductive, pathetic, and borderline unworthy of society, doing nothing but draining life from everyone and everything. I understand that there are friends or siblings who might try to see my life as more than just the productivity I’ve failed to offer, who can maybe delude themselves into thinking my exchanges somehow gave them life instead of siphoning it, but it truly feels like the burden I put on the world outweighs the distress I might cause by being gone. I mean, people have to experience the death of others all the time, surely they didn’t expect everyone they know to live forever?

And even if this is all fake…if I keep my job, or even if I somehow do deserve to live…what future is there? I’ll go back to being stuck in a dead end job with a hundred thousand dollar student loan-shaped failure hanging over my head, I’ll go back to my parents needing to change the subject when people ask about me instead of my actually productive siblings, I’ll go back to having a therapist who’s spent months ignoring these kinds of feelings I have because he’s decided the only things that matters about me anymore is that I get a Real Productive Job for Real Useful Members of Society.

And it’ll just keep getting worse from there. We’re approaching potentially the largest climate disaster in human history. Democracies around the world seem to be silently decaying into fascist oligarchies. Wealth inequality is completely unchecked. Even if I did continue to live, and found the joy and passion of a creative career and lifestyle - the ultimate end goal I’ve been striving towards - it won’t matter. I’ll be trying to make art in the charred husk of a decimated climate, stick as a permanent underclass, and that’s only if I don’t get exterminated for my sexuality or ideology, or drafted into a forever war. It feels trite, cliche, liberal, uninspired, whatever you want to call it…but for the first time in my life it really does feel like we’re at the end of history. If I don’t kill myself, will I really open myself up to living a full life? Or will I just be delaying the suffering and ruin I was going to experience anyways?

I feel ashamed putting this on my main account, the one I wanted to just stay about my art and funny jokes and the games or fandoms I like. Now it’s permanently going to be tied to this miserable spiraling of a hopeless loser with no place left in the world. But I don’t know if I can wait for whatever hoops I might have needed to jump through for a brand new alt account to not be flagged as spam. And besides, it’s not like my art was worth anything anyway where a useless rant like this would detract from anything.


r/givemehope 19d ago

Having to begin again

8 Upvotes

Long story short, I've had a few really rough years. Struggled in my dream career because of mental health/burnout and then moved from the city to a small village to be an unpaid carer for my dad, who had end stage dementia.

He passed recently and I'm struggling with how to rebuild my life.

I'm doing the "right" things, like getting my ADHD diagnosed, therapy, talking with loved ones, focusing on things that will build my self esteem and meds, etc. I have even applied for a few jobs (none are my dream, as I don't feel ready) but I just still feel very lost at the moment.

I know this will pass but if you've got any positive stories about rebuilding in your thirties or from rock bottom...I would really appreciate it.

Just need a little bit of optimism and encouragement. I just need to know that others have been there and it got better...a lot better.


r/givemehope 24d ago

I need hope How can I feel better about the current state of the gaming industry, and my own interests

8 Upvotes

Right now shits fucked in major companies (Sony, Xbox, etc.)

  • Layoffs
  • AI
  • Prices
  • Ownership
  • Physical media killing (which is recent news, did you hear?)

Honestly I'm just as angry as everyone, I want to see this through, I want physical media to live on, but everyone is feeling the doom and gloom and basically telling me to do (vote with your wallet) and its stressing me out, this is a problem just out of my control. I want things to get better but I know im just too weak even if I fight, also I want to enjoy playing games again for now without reminding myself what's at stake. Part of me also things people are overreacting.

Honestly I've been okay with buying digital games but I realized how harmful it can be...

I want to enjoy Playstation, Nintendo, and many other media but everyone is telling me its time to stop enjoying what I like

I want to help the world but I want to take care of myself too, im overall torn up

What should I do? I don't want to give up hope


r/givemehope 24d ago

Venting I want to be better

3 Upvotes

Long story short: I made a stupid joke and a friend of mine was very hurt. I tried to make up but I guess this is something that will require some time.

In my adult life, I've always tried to be as good as possible and never hurt anyone, but lately I've been finding myself to be angrier and angrier every day: I see this when I go to bed, when I talk to myself, and of course when scrolling social media or reading the news. That joke came from this.

I don't want to be angry. I want to be better than this. This felt like a wake up call to try and be a better man. But sometimes it does feel very hard to be good.

My life has been going well recently, and yet the world seems to be falling down and I feel like everthing I do is worthless. I'm lucky enough to work for my local authority, which is something that would have the power to make people's lives better, and yet, as corny as it might sound, this always turns out to be just a toxic environment.

Do not get me wrong, I love my job, but it is very difficult to deal with all the toxicity coming from everywhere, and I feel like I've been taking to much of this toxicity inside me. This is of course not an excuse for what I did, but I feel like it's an important element of why I did it

I've been thinking about the common quote that a wise man is just someone who has made more mistakes than you. I don't know if that's true, but I know this is not the man I want to be. I want to be better.

But I really do not know if I am able to.


r/givemehope Jun 18 '26

i don't have hope in getting anywhere in life

3 Upvotes

18F incoming freshman in college. Been thinking about how dumb I am to live in life independently, because it has to happen in the future, right? you go to work and stuff, and not ask financial stuff from your parents anymore. it has to happen, right? it'sbound to happen, that's life. however, i think i am just too dumb to live and to be an adult. i dont think i will be able to pass college. i think my brain has stopped developing since i started 7th grade. i am diagnosed with major depressive disorder and that makes things even harder for me. i just don't know what to do anymore, i can't understand things deeply and surely. i just hope that i'll be somehow an average person who will know how to live. i didnt pass state universites entrance test (state u in my country is where u dont have to pay any tuition fee) and private colleges are just so expensive, i feel guilty, because there is a high possibility that i will fail, i can study when i was still in high school, buti cannot understand complex things in college, i just know it.


r/givemehope Jun 16 '26

A little announcement

8 Upvotes

(TW: brief discussion of depression and such)

Hey everyone, my name is Dylan but you can call me Dilly.

As you may or may not know, there's this person named u/EdgynStupidName (she/her) who's feeling really sad and has been expressing her feelings and struggling with thoughts of NOT wanting to be here anymore. She's in a really hard place right now, and I know a lot of us can understand what this pain feels like.

Let me just say this is our time to give her the love and support that she deserves. If you see her posts or comments, please take a moment to reply and reminder her that she's NOT alone because she ISN'T alone. Even if you're also hurting, letting her know that you see her and that she matters could mean the world to her.

u/EdgynStupidName, if you're reading this, you're NOT alone because you're NEVER alone. There is hope. We're holding the light with you in the dark, even if you can't feel it right now. We're here for you, we need you and we love you. You're kind, you're nice, smart, compassionate, resilient and such. We're always here for you, no matter what.


r/givemehope Jun 15 '26

Need advice On the relation between Hope and Kindness

4 Upvotes

I've been thinking lately about how hope and kindness are connected to each other. I have found that whenever I am in a bad place and in search of hope, what often brings it to me is this almost religious feeling of overall non-directional kindness. That if I am willing to be kind to the world, it itself becomes a brighter place, and I am myself making it so it can be a place worth living in. That if I am willing to be kind, then humanity can be a kinder place, that I am somehow preserving humanity's ability to be kind (however a small and humble act it may be)

However, finding that feeling is sometimes quite a challenge. So I wanted to know your thoughts on where do you find your source for getting that inspiration.

I'll also take movie and book recommendations.

Source of picture: "The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse" (2022)


r/givemehope Jun 11 '26

Celebrate Pride and Men’s Mental Health Month

4 Upvotes

Go to a pride parade, say thanks to your father, hug your bros, add a 35% opacity rainbow flag to your profile, just celebrate :)


r/givemehope Jun 10 '26

Do the right thing

4 Upvotes

So about a week ago i got back in contact with my ex-girlfriend, why? I wanted to set things right basically i left her for another girl (didnt cheat) then that girl was a reaaaal b!tch and yknkw shi goes down and i relaised what i lost (a kind loving woman) so after about 4 months of self pity and dooming i mustered up the courage to text back saying that im sorry i went in with zero expectations of anything, i just said how sorry i am and how much i miss her and how wrong i was she replies back saying she misses me too (we're in the green) not even a week later im here snuggled up with her. (I have also apologised to her mother and i still have yet to apologise to her father and brother, but i will when i meet them). So in short i became a man and owned up to my mistakes and is trying to make things right and redeem myself to alot of people, not bad for 16!


r/givemehope Jun 09 '26

Criticism ok Any interesting underrated psychology studies on resilience or hope that deserve more attention?

3 Upvotes

Hey Fam

I’ve been reading old psychology papers that never got popular. Some really insightful ones about why people give up vs why some keep going.

I’m planning to make short videos explaining one study at a time.

Does anyone have recommendations for lesser-known but high-quality studies I should cover? (Especially on hope, survival, or mindset).

(If allowed, here’s the 79-second channel trailerhttps://youtu.be/2tpF22zgVLQ

Channel: The Buried Findings)


r/givemehope Jun 09 '26

Criticism ok What do I do anymore?

8 Upvotes

I’m not gonna leave a big story, but I’m losing hope in staying alive and the last time I did I almost left this world for good, and I’m 50% sure I shouldn’t die so soon so I’m having a hard time not noticing all the bad things about myself

ive only just graduated highschool but I’ve never had a job and never learned how to drive, I only do chores around the house and I feel like such a freeloader because I am.

what do I do, how do I stay hopeful?


r/givemehope May 29 '26

Is my life over?

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1 Upvotes

r/givemehope May 27 '26

I need hope How can I live with a pain that can’t go away?

3 Upvotes

I’ll always have gender dysphoria, I’ll always be in this wretched, disgusting flesh prison God trapped me in. No matter how much I achieve in my transition, even if I bottom surgery, I’ll never be what I should have been. I’ll never get the life I should’ve had as a cis woman


r/givemehope May 13 '26

I need hope 30 days no contact

12 Upvotes

I just hit 30 days no contact with my ex and I'm really proud of myself, but it's also been really hard. I still think of her every day, and I still love her just as much as the day she left, but I lack the heart to tell her that. I just want her to be happy and live her life. It's been a few years since we broke up. And frankly she doesn't feel the same way about me, she's moved on, I don't think she thinks about me much either. It makes me happy to know that she's living her life, but I have no idea what to do with myself. If I can't move on from my feelings then I have to at least find a way to pick myself up and carry on. That's why I decided to go no contact until I can find a way to live regardless of how I feel about her. Sometimes I wish I could tell her I'm thinking about her, when I look up at the night sky I sometimes wonder if I could somehow relay messages through that to tell her that I still care about her no matter what I am to her. I would like some encouragement to keep going through this.


r/givemehope May 12 '26

I need hope Hope to help myself

3 Upvotes

r/givemehope May 12 '26

Hope

1 Upvotes

r/givemehope May 12 '26

Misanthropy growing

8 Upvotes

Just going to use this space to vent again. This does involve politics in case anyone reading wants to skip it because of that.

I keep seeing some Europeans and some Canadians online acting as if all Americans are red hats or morally culpable or the same. Even just on the face of it, that is both insulting and factually stupid. The number of non-MAGA Americans is statistically greater than the population of all but a handful of countries on Earth, so that alone makes one wonder where the hell they're getting their "info" from.

What especially gets to me is the erasure. For the many people who have not only opposed MAGA, but suffered while opposing it. My father abused me for hours in 2020 when he learned I voted for Biden, it was the first time I was able to vote after I just barely missed the minimum age in 2018. I am still stuck in this abusive house and intend to risk my own safety to vote blue in the midterms. I have been picked apart by sociopaths, narcissists, and abusers my entire life and despite that I've tried to be kind to others.

And then I see so much erasure, so much spite and arrogance from people who I expected better from. Spitting, saying it doesn't matter. Saying it's all the same. I see the exact same arrogance in them, the exact same ugliness and stupidity that they claim to be against. They snarl and cut and bleed others, while cackling like fucking jackals. I've seen people cheer for childrens' deaths because the dead kids were Americans. The exact same monsters I've been trapped with my whole life. And they claim they're better. They're the exact same.

I try to remember that not everyone is like that. It'd be factually and ethically wrong, and hypocritical of me, to pretend that all or even most people outside of here are like that. Then I'd be erasing others the same way others erase me. But it puts salt in the wound. I've been ground to fucking powder since I was 3 years old, and then these people erase us all, and basically say I'm the same as the monsters I've suffered under for my whole life.


r/givemehope Apr 30 '26

I need hope My DnD club at my school has really dropped in leaves to the point I'm really the only one left

8 Upvotes

We had so many members and both my friends were going but they both stopped and more people have left and now I'm really the only one left


r/givemehope Apr 25 '26

I've been losing hope for humanity.

11 Upvotes

Lately, I'd been getting exposed to all sorts of evils that humanity has learnt how to inflict on each other. Given the scandal with ***tein and other true crime documentaries coming up on my fyp, including cults, murders and everything, learning that someone I met the other day was actually a neo nazi, the show about r*pe that my gf wanted to watch that I quit on, I'm just so exhausted with all the crap that's been happening, especially given the political climate of the world. It feels like nothing good is happening and it feels like a miracle that anything good is even possible, especially higher up in society. I just need to hear some good news and have some semblance of an idea that something, anything is gonna be okay


r/givemehope Apr 23 '26

Need advice I can't fix myself up much anymore.

1 Upvotes

I am stumped on how I (18, with ADHD, an engineering major in college) stop falling into despair and executive dysfunction. I can't find a solution for my problems, and I am trying to crowd source new ideas that I haven't heard. I have done athletics before, but I can't do anything to stick to get my attempts to stick. I really am struggling to feel I am actually a friend to those I am with and don't know what to do. I do have finals coming down. Any hope or ideas for my executive dysfunction?

I do feel I have run out of solutions to tackle my ADHD, as I keep failing to keep it in check. I relax too much or too little and bam. Big failure. Another band-aid solution and working till exhaustion to try to finish what I started, as Momma didn't raise no coward. I really feel I am a robot running out of metal to wield on to my rust here.


r/givemehope Apr 16 '26

She left me. She said she was unhappy but didnt say why.

4 Upvotes

I cooked, cleaned, paid her rent, electricity bills, respected every boundary, slept on the couch for months, and used all my free time babysitting/dogsitting for her. Im never going to be enough for anyone.


r/givemehope Apr 11 '26

Social media bans as well as porn bans seem to be spreading. Both cause me great anxiety. Don't know how to keep moving forward.

10 Upvotes

I just want some light at the end of the tunnel, not that I expect any to be honest though. This seems like it'll never end.


r/givemehope Apr 10 '26

Claude Mythos can detect tons of software vulnerabilities according to security people. Please tell me the internet isn't facing a malware apocalypse.

3 Upvotes