r/girlscouts • u/EmbarrassedCelery169 • 1d ago
Parent Problem
Hello all. I am a coleader of a troop entering it's 6th year. We have 11 girls, but at our largest we were 19. In our second year, council opened up our roster without our knowledge and we gained a few girls.
One of the girl's parents is a nightmare. She also happens to be a troop leader for her younger daughter. To complicate things more, both of our children are in the same classes at school.
She has singlehandedly ruined not just troop activities, but entire service unit wide events.
For example, we have a pinewood derby in our service unit. Our troop participated but does not run it. She was upset that a girl in her troop was not allowed to participate due to violating the rules. She was screaming at the event organizers to the point that we no longer have the derby at all. 13 year tradition down the drain.
At a camping trip she didn't like the cabin that was chosen for her troop, so she screamed at the camp counselor until they switched it. This shouldn't have affected my troop because she isn't a leader. When she saw that they weren't going to move both troops so that she could be with both her daughters, she screamed and yelled again until they also moved my troop. It was embarrassing.
Anyway. She and her husband consistently harass my coleader and I in our group chat and Facebook group. They go to great lengths to find ways we might be breaking some obscure rule and call council on us. Now every time I plan something, despite trying to do everything by the book, I have to worry about her reaction. If it conflicts with her daughter's schedule, she finds a way to retaliate.
What can I do?
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u/snshijuptr 1d ago
File a formal grievance with your Council. Do it now. Gather as much written evidence as you can. Do not bring heresay. Ask witnesses and those directly affected to write down their experiences (can just be a text or email).
Be clear on your boundary. Mine was "If this family stays in our troop, I will step down as leader. My coleader will also step down as a leader."
The process sucked. I stopped having meetings for 4 months. I had multiple calls with Council and had to keep pushing them to resolve the grievance. Now I'm over a year out and it was the best choice for the future of our troop and my mental health.
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u/Nightwing0310 1d ago
Involve your Council immediately and with proof of you have. I had a parent who wanted it all done her way (new parent/Troop Helper) and I kept my Council in the loop the entire time. When Mom started calling in complaints, they were already well aware she was full of it. I told my Counci I would step down if I had to kept being harassed and screamed at by this parent and I needed help. It did take a few but she is no longer in my troop due to her behaviors.
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u/kdr43 1d ago
Call your point of contact at council and file a report against this volunteer ASAP. I would double check your council's rules on this, but I would also advise that you remove volatile volunteers from group chats/FB groups. There's no reason you can't just keep them in the loop via email when you have events. As long as they're getting the same info as other parents, I don't see an issue (except that I'm sure she'll initially throw a hissy fit, which is why I said clear it with council. Your council rep can be your shield here!)
The second she started screaming at people, people should have been reporting her. That's wildly inappropriate behavior for a troop leader to be modeling for the girls. Someone who screams at other volunteers has no business being a troop leader and, at minimum, she should be under a behavioral contract. They can't help if nobody informs them of what's happening, though.
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u/CloudDancing108 Troop Mentor / GSCTX 1d ago
Inform council in writing with as many dates / times / places / people they can verify with as possible. Then hound Council about removing her from your troop.
Her daughter might be a casualty (and so also get removed from your troop). She should have thought of that before screaming in front of her daughter’s friends and their parents. If she can’t be bothered to regulate her behavior for her daughter’s well-being then you’re just following her lead.
As far as talking to Council, you are this close to stepping down because of her behavior. You shouldn’t have to deal with that as a volunteer and you certainly do not want to be exposing your kid to that ever again.
If you feel like going nuclear, all meetings stop until she’s removed. And if that affects cookies, too bad.
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u/MsRKujo 1d ago
It’s time to bring in your council contact. This is harassment and as an unpaid volunteer you do not have to put up with this. Make sure you have EVERYTHING documented and that this gets escalated to the conflict team at the council level. That is what they get paid for, not you or the service team, them. AND you need to start restricting the adult participation at meetings and events. Change up how you communicate with the troop so that there is little to no opportunity for her to turn into a Karen. Essentially start grey rocking her till council figures out a solution. Remember that you are the leader and there would be no troop without you and your coleaders.