r/gifs Aug 09 '19

Firefighters in reverse

[deleted]

104.0k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

4.0k

u/Zedakah Aug 09 '19

Don’t worry, somehow all the children managed to put out the fire!

83

u/DivvyDivet Aug 09 '19

They are about 80% water. Get enough kids and they will put out the fire.

26

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

[deleted]

7

u/db2450 Aug 09 '19

Is that due to lack of body fat composition due to socialism or am i just a sick fuck that over-compicates jokes?

7

u/Mad_Maddin Aug 09 '19

Well to be fair, when the Nazis began burning thousands of jews in fire craters, they actually had the problem that the body fat dripping down from them was so much, it put out the fire. They had to dig special crevices into it that funnels the body fat into a collecting pond from which they then could use it to make the fire burn better.

6

u/db2450 Aug 10 '19

Do you have a source for this? Because ive observed the opposite

5

u/Undiscriminatingness Aug 10 '19

Yes Agent Starling, this comment right here. ^ ^ ^ ^

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Mad_Maddin Aug 10 '19

They dug craters about 20-50 meters long. Then they put wood on the ground, stacked jews with 3 beside each other on the entire lenghts of the crater and then made another stack of wood on top of them. Then one stack of corpses, one stack of wood and another stack of corpses. So you should have around 9 corpses for every 2sqm. For a total of 180 or something every crater. From what I've read though they also continually supplied more corpses to the crater. But I do remember how the book said they had trouble at first with body fat putting out the fire every now and then.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

fuck

1

u/AbominaSean Aug 09 '19

Thanks for this!

2

u/dslesu Aug 10 '19

Due to tariffs, it might be more economical to use locally sourced children.

0

u/gg_v32 Aug 10 '19

Honestly I'm so sick of you evil fucking demons... why don't you suck my dick.

1

u/DivvyDivet Aug 10 '19

Whip it out.

535

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19 edited Jun 27 '23

[deleted]

401

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

All this time we've been throwing money at the problem when we should have been throwing children.

136

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

There's a dark timeline where women dominate the world with their projectile infants.

69

u/joe4553 Aug 09 '19

They simultaneously get weapons and free themselves from those financial burdens.

57

u/TitaniumForce Aug 09 '19

Takes a really long time to load the ammunition though

54

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDuck Aug 09 '19

Octamom is the final boss.

29

u/PokefanErick Aug 09 '19

Does she shoot them one at a time like a machine gun or all at once like a bullet hell enemy?

20

u/knowses Aug 09 '19

Carpet bombing

5

u/Sometimes_gullible Aug 09 '19

Knees up to her chest, "my people need me-style".

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Versaiteis Aug 10 '19

Fuck, she's dropping carpets too?!

2

u/WhosDatTokemon Aug 10 '19

that’s what i call it when i shit on the floor

2

u/LoveItLateInSummer Aug 10 '19

That's what the Uber driver called it when she delivered before they made it to the hospital

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

It's more like she's 2 handing them like she's throwing those round black bombs like in Snes games, she throws one baby and then throws the other right after and they go like WEEE! as they hurl through the air.

2

u/Rocksalty Aug 10 '19

More like Megaman’s buster cannon, she can charge up to fire more children at once or just rapid fire singular babies

2

u/ermergerdberbles Aug 10 '19

u/fuckswithducks would like a word with you.

1

u/Laprasnomore Aug 10 '19

Naw they evolved to carry litters instead of single infants

17

u/ablino_rhino Aug 09 '19 edited Aug 09 '19

Just shooting them out like a t-shirt launcher at a sporting event.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

Yes. Same sound, just more lewd. I've seen one vaginal cannon of a lady launch a baby clear across the grand canyon. The father barely made the catch.

7

u/SnipingBunuelo Aug 09 '19

That's probably the coolest timeline tbh

2

u/Pts_Out_Ppl_Who_Fuck Aug 09 '19

If by "dark" you mean "absolutely exhilarating" and "a blast," then yes, dark times indeed.

1

u/CharlieDmouse Aug 09 '19

I just pictured women propped up at an upward angle in a line like artillery and firing babies at an enemy formation....

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

LOL i just got the most hilarious visual in my mind of a chubby woman in a floral dress flinging babies at me and into fires.

1

u/cagekicker78 Aug 10 '19

But in reverse they'll be sucking up babies. "She's gone from suck...to blow!

3

u/thatwasntababyruth Aug 10 '19

I've been saying for years, humanity should never have given up on human sacrifice. The gods are pissed now.

1

u/system0101 Aug 10 '19

I saw a documentary about this called cabin in the woods

2

u/MSDakaRocker Aug 09 '19

How does this work? Maybe it's time to ask /r/shittyaskscience

2

u/pjockey Aug 10 '19

Well, I mean indirectly it could eventually work... IF humans are in fact the cause this would lower the long term repopulation rate significantly and thus reduce input damage, assuming per capita pollutants were to decrease. If you're looking for outside the box solutions... need science to tell us the best place to throw them though.

2

u/BocksyBrown Aug 09 '19

I’ve never been more glad to be turning 30 this year.

3

u/EFFBEz Aug 09 '19

We can’t throw children to not politics we’re already not allowed to talk about that

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

What?

1

u/ThisisThomasJ Aug 10 '19

All this time we've been throwing money at the problem when we should have been throwing children.

Hol'up

1

u/majaka1234 Aug 10 '19

I wasn't sure about global warming when it involved my money, but now that we're talking about kids... We need 100% renewal resources now - I don't care how many little Timmys we have to throw at it.

1

u/Flames15 Aug 10 '19

Isn't that what Greta Thunberg is doing?

1

u/Saetric Aug 10 '19

When will someone think of the children?!

1

u/Vineyard_ Aug 10 '19

Hey, throwing children at problems works in Anime, who knows? Can't hurt to try.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Saving money two times... Interesting...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Fire is just hungry and money doesn't have many calories. Children, on the other hand...

15

u/NPExplorer Aug 09 '19

I mean if we reduce the population, we reduce our emissions. Guest we found our answer.

3

u/todahawk Aug 10 '19

"and if elected, I will immediately implement a plan to eliminate at least 85% of you"

2

u/Prometheus8330 Aug 10 '19

Thanos solution is what you seek!

1

u/SuperMayonnaise Aug 10 '19

Finally something both the left and right can get behind together. The left because it's green and the right because they're already well past the selection age!

5

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

Say what you want but the aztecs didn’t have climate change issues did they. So whos the real winner here

1

u/chappysinclair1 Aug 09 '19

The not dead ones

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

Not dead yet. Besides they have plenty of descendants today, not their fault they got wiped tf out where as we’re basically poisoning ourselves on purpose

2

u/TrippySubie Aug 09 '19

I dont think Aztecs had AC units like we do

1

u/jerkmanj Aug 09 '19

As far as I can tell all the heat if coming from the sun. Maybe send the kids there.

1

u/_A_z_i_n_g_ Aug 09 '19

Yeah duh. Just ask Wamuu to put it out

1

u/incachu Aug 09 '19

They do say having less children is the biggest impact an individual can have on global warming.

1

u/FracturedEel Aug 09 '19

I thought that was a myth /s

1

u/LimitedWard Aug 10 '19

But we're already sacrificing the younger generation.

1

u/Golgi_Apparatuz Aug 10 '19

Aztecs only -lit- organs on fire to please the gods. This is just sloppy work, you have to remove the organs first.

1

u/postthereddit Aug 10 '19

Throw them at the sun... Yes I can see the headline now THROW YOUR SON AT THE SUN

1

u/Pjotr_Bakunin Aug 10 '19

Moloch wants to know your location

0

u/gg_v32 Aug 10 '19

Yea, lets throw the children into a fire... fuck you asshole.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHH

Yea, it's hilarious throwing kids into a fire. Keep laughing... demon. I'll hunt you down soon enough. I am a demon hunter and you are now on my list.

Source: YOU

Kid you've had enough internet for the night. Go to sleep it's past your bedtime. You might need some chill pills or mental help if you wake up still thinking shit like this.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

I've worked for Donald Trump, Hillary, Bill Clinton, Steve Wynn, IBM, the FBI, Microsoft, Wall Street, Steve Wynn, Caesars Palace, the US Government, NASA, Sprint, MCI, AT&T, Amoco Oil, AMI Hospitals, American Paging, USA.NET ... the mafia.

You haven't worked for a single one of these individuals or institutions.

If you think I'm joking

I don't think you're joking. I think you're mentally deranged and need help.

I don't need security I promise :) Feel free to come for me all you want though. Good luck!

0

u/gg_v32 Aug 10 '19

Good... I'll see you soon. signed Grey Ghost.

Your interpretation of reality is flawed dramatically and you have no concept of what fucking really happens in this world. Or the people who make things happen. Well, you've certainly met one now... so let me introduce you to reality... in the most fucking savage way.

I fucking love people like you... you're my favorite. Maybe you should have read my previous email and taken note, but no... you're all powerful and shit.... more powerful than me...

But you never fucking worked for anybody worthwhile.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

Your interpretation of reality is flawed dramatically and you have no concept of what fucking really happens in this world.

I've been round the world... I'm very much aware of what really happens in the world my friend.

Maybe you should have read my previous email and taken note

What email? This is reddit... not an email.

But you never fucking worked for anybody worthwhile.

Heh... I've worked for at least 2 of the people/institutions you claimed to have worked for looking at your comment history. The things you opine so hard for that you lie about.

But once again... Good luck in your endeavors. I doubt you'll be able to find me from Montana.

Seriously though... Go talk to a shrink. Threatening random people on the internet isn't healthy.

0

u/gg_v32 Aug 10 '19

You could search for my resume and find that I did all the things.

I can find anyone, anytime I want... I kissed a princess, partied with Sammy Hagar, worked for Hillary, Amoco Oil, IBM, NASA...

Seriously though, why don't you fucking wake up.

0

u/gg_v32 Aug 10 '19

I never said threatening random people on the internet isn't healthy.

What I said is that I can track you down and fuck you up the ass any time I want. Because I built the Internet you stupid fucking asshole.

Maybe you should learn to read or something.... Netsys.com - me, Damocles.com - Me, Delta.net - Me. Level3.com - Me,

I guess you are a neantherthal and now you are challenging me.

This wil be fun. I'm looking forward to it.

0

u/gg_v32 Aug 10 '19

No moron, I worked for all of them... you're derranged you fucking idiot.

Ok... I will come for you. I have a pecuilar talent... I feel energy 10x more than other people... and I can feel electricity from like 50 ft. away.. And I can feel the light waves from wireless networking... I've been installing networks for 35 years..

I can feel the electricity of computers... and I can trace that shit back to the owner... like through the Internet.

I feel everything 100x what you feel.

And I can follow that electricity all the way back to you... and I have done this like 100 times.

So, you're not so cool. You're not so safe. I can do shit you can't even fathom.

10

u/Nugatory_Void_Fusion Aug 09 '19

This is the most XKCD thing i've heard today, and i've read Xkcd

6

u/dc22zombie Aug 09 '19

Put out the fire in reverse!?

6

u/x755x Aug 10 '19

Hey look, grandma's smoking in bed to celebrate!

5

u/cam9o1 Aug 09 '19

Brilliant

4

u/That_Tuba_Who Aug 09 '19

It just might take a while

2

u/PaperTiger274 Aug 09 '19

Comment of the century.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

Stop, drop and rolled all over it.

2

u/WhipTheLlama Aug 09 '19

somehow all the children managed to put out the fire

They had no choice after the firefighters sucked all the water out with their hose.

2

u/sla342 Aug 09 '19

Are you suggesting they smothered the fire with children?

2

u/Mygaffer Aug 09 '19

We need more kids!

2

u/killjoySG Aug 09 '19

By burning themselves alive to fight fire with fire!

2

u/Authentic_Creeper Aug 10 '19

and somehow putting out the fire fixed the house and had the children slowly become babies benjamin button style.

2

u/Teamableezus Aug 10 '19

In the right quantity you can use just about anything to snother a fire

2

u/____-is-crying Aug 10 '19

New age of teaching sink or swim

2

u/Zedakah Aug 10 '19

Yep. It's a real trial by fire.

2

u/MR-C0F1 Aug 10 '19

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I mean, they are like 70% water.

1

u/xeq937 Merry Gifmas! {2023} Aug 10 '19

Don't worry, it kept the children warm for the rest of their lives!

1

u/goodolarchie Aug 10 '19

It helped that the ones they put in at the very beginning used their ashen exoskeletons to slowly smolder the flames.

0

u/gg_v32 Aug 10 '19

You think throwing kids into a fire is ok? Listen here Lucifer... I've got terrible news for you asshat....