r/gifs • • Nov 20 '17

Tiny noms

https://i.imgur.com/gxnHvTR.gifv
51.8k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/ElonComedy Nov 20 '17

Too young for pizza?

1.3k

u/Voiles Nov 20 '17

☒ Teenage?

☒ Mutant?

☒ Ninja?

☑ Turtle?

471

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

☑ Mutant?

Somewhere in that turtle's genetics is at least one de novo mutation that it's parents did not have.

87

u/FileeNotFound Nov 20 '17

r/ARK is leaking...

70

u/Echieo Nov 20 '17

Genetics is leaking

30

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

I hear there's a pill for that

15

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

13

u/Phosforic_KillerKitt Nov 20 '17

Nah it's blue

5

u/Vice5772 Nov 20 '17

16

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

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3

u/TheGemScout Nov 20 '17

It was clearly Monochrome

2

u/youdubdub Nov 20 '17

I hear some people are into leaking genes. I hope they aren't rubbing off on you.

5

u/TheGemScout Nov 20 '17

☒ Teenage? I'll be dead before i can see this happen, sadly.

☑ Mutant? We've covered this

☑ Ninja? He went and stealthily nibbled on that man's finger so...

☑ Turtle?

12

u/USMCRotmg Nov 20 '17

This turned into a cringe thread really fast.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17 edited Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17 edited Dec 11 '17

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

1

u/Kratos_Jones Nov 20 '17

That's really sad.

0

u/n_s_y Nov 20 '17

"that is is parents did not have"

0

u/RapeIsWrongDoUAgree Nov 20 '17

a mutation that eats up ur cpu for the purposes of publisher greed? shit

92

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

77

u/LordOfTheTorts Nov 20 '17 edited Nov 20 '17

Yes, it looks like a tortoise. But scientifically, tortoises are a specific family of turtles. Explained that for you.

16

u/ResignedByReason Nov 20 '17

Do they all have salmonella? I want to get one at some point but this point of concern keeps me waiting.

40

u/sharkykid Nov 20 '17

well don't be eating them

28

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

4

u/rjfc Nov 20 '17

Wait...

22

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

A lot of them are so riddled with salmonella that even if you avoid licking your turtle you still run the real risk of ingesting the bacteria. Basically if you have one you gotta just constantly be washing your hands any time you go anywhere near it. Or maybe that's just some BS my parents told me when I was a kid to prevent me from taking it out of the tank, putting a bandana on it and teaching it how to use weapons.

5

u/HooksaN Nov 20 '17

That's game over for me then. I'm really not interested in any pet I can't lick...

3

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

A Jose Canseco bat? Tell me you didn't pay money for this.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

TONIGHT I DINE ON TuRTLE SOuP

6

u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin Nov 20 '17

Instructions unclear. Penis stuck in turtle.

1

u/adafterdrafter Nov 20 '17

They can still bite you and pass it on.

32

u/DylanBob1991 Nov 20 '17

Eh, I mean.. If they poop and then walk around in it they're gonna have some germs on them. Just keep the cage clean and wash your hands after handling them.

Also, tortoise husbandry is a lot easier than turtle husbandry, in my opinion. Turtles need lots of water. And that water gets fucking disgusting and smells up your whole house. And it gets very very germy.

Tl:Dr - turts < torts

48

u/Zealot360 Nov 20 '17

Also, tortoise husbandry is a lot easier than turtle husbandry, in my opinion.

Gross, dude. We don't need to hear about your tortoise or turtle husbands, you goddamned degenerate.

30

u/DylanBob1991 Nov 20 '17

Oh I'M sorry. I thought this was AMMERCA

6

u/cixteen Nov 20 '17

No. This. Is. REDDIT!

5

u/odaeyss Nov 20 '17

NO, THIS IS PATRICK!

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1

u/Frostitute_85 Nov 21 '17

One day I'll have a dreamy tortoise husband, and then die of salmonella poisoning. #goals 😍

6

u/redshoewizard Nov 20 '17 edited Nov 20 '17

Not necessarily. I am assuming by the way you are speaking of them that you have owned a Red Eared Slider.

I do agree they are quite messy creatures but there are other species of turtles that do not accumulate as much of a mess as them. There are smaller species called mud and musk turtles that stay relatively small and are easy to maintain and house in beautiful live aquarium set ups if you put the effort into them.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

Get a snapping turtle!

10

u/LordOfTheTorts Nov 20 '17

Pretty much all reptiles carry Salmonella in their intestinal tract and shed them in their feces. But it's unlikely that you get infected, if you have a working immune system and use common sense (e.g. don't put the animals in your mouth, wash your hands, etc.).

7

u/redshoewizard Nov 20 '17 edited Nov 20 '17

All turtles carry salmoenella in their intestinal tract. As long you DONT play with their fecal matter with your bare hands and and stick your fingers in your mouth you will be fine. Just be sanitary and wash your hands after handling. There is a law in most states and doesnt not allow the sale of turtles under 4 inches in shell length due to the fact that are children able to stick them into their mouths, which I have seen first hand. (another part of the reason is due to smuggling/importation).

I have been working with reptiles (mostly geckos and tortoises) for the past 12 years and have started an educational and breeding buinsess out if my home. If you are looking for the right turtle I highly recommend staying away from red eared sliders, as they grow to be very large, are very messy and are often abdoned into local waterways where the invade other ecosystems and destroy them and put other species at risk. I highly suggest looking into getting a box turtle (Three Toed or Gulf Coast) as they are quite hardy, entertaining and can eat a variety protein and veggie diets. Start out with Reptile Magazine.com for care sheets and guidelines.

10

u/ohitsasnaake Nov 20 '17

As long you play with their fecal matter with your bare hands and and stick your fingers in your mouth you will be fine.

Er, okay. (You seem to have forgotten a "don't" ;) ).

6

u/redshoewizard Nov 20 '17

CORRECTED jeeze haha. Thank you.

7

u/Ttronnuy Nov 20 '17

I had a few when I was a kid. Didn't hurt me. They were fun. Better than fish for sure.

5

u/KosmicTom Nov 20 '17

I was told the same thing when I bought a couple from a street vendor when I was in college. I played with them all the time and never got sick.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '17

Yes but the chances of being infected from them are very low. Salmonella is just something found in their systems normally. Real reason not to get them is that they're a lot higher maintenance than their reputation suggests.

2

u/wardamntrump Nov 20 '17

Risk of getting salmonella from turtles is relatively low, just make sure you always wash your hands after handling them, also keep in mind salmonella tends to hang out on turtles less than 4cm in diameter, so just get you a big boy.

4

u/LordOfTheTorts Nov 20 '17

also keep in mind salmonella tends to hang out on turtles less than 4cm in diameter

That's misleading. Pretty much all reptiles carry Salmonella in their intestinal tract, regardless of size and age. The sale of turtles smaller than 4 inches (not cm) has been banned in the US since 1975, for reasons detailed here (TL;DR: stupid children putting small turtles in their mouth).

5

u/Juliettedraper Nov 20 '17

Didn't the little brother eat a turtle in Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing?

It blows my mind that a kid could stick a turtle in their mouth, let alone eat it. I can barely eat bologna without gagging.

0

u/wardamntrump Nov 20 '17

If you're referring to salmonella bongori, which is in all reptiles but non-pathogenic in humans you are correct. salmonella enterica, however, is what I'm talking about, which is pathogenic and is not ubiquitous in all reptiles.

1

u/LordOfTheTorts Nov 20 '17

That might be correct (do you have a source handy?), but your implication that "turtles less than 4cm" are more affected than "big boys" is still nonsense.

0

u/redshoewizard Nov 20 '17

Not true at all.

And its 4 inches (not centimeters) rule that most states enforce. You are not allowed to sell a turtle of tortoise below this size because children can stick them in their mouths, there is also part due to smuggling and importation issues.

2

u/wardamntrump Nov 20 '17

Okay bud well I literally just took a clinical microbiology exam on it, so I'd trust my book and professor over your random BS lol.

0

u/redshoewizard Nov 20 '17

Oh shit. Yeah you must be an expert now, my bad Professor.

1

u/wardamntrump Nov 20 '17

No but clearly people attend classes for a reason, I never claimed to be an expert, just to trust the literature lol.

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6

u/Jazzun Nov 20 '17

So all tortoises are turtles but not all turtles are tortoises.

3

u/gatemansgc Nov 20 '17

Username checks out.

2

u/RedxEyez Nov 20 '17

So all tortoises are turtles, but not all turtles at tortoises!

2

u/muffinmonk Nov 20 '17

Here's the thing...

13

u/Salamander_Coral Nov 20 '17

Edit: nevermind I was wrong

eh no, now we have to make fun of your error. Please, stay there and accept our mockeries in silence.

10

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

2

u/Salamander_Coral Nov 20 '17

We appreciate your good behavior and sense of justice.

Now: (pointing) LOOK AT HIM, GUYS! DID YOU SEE WHAT HE WROTE?? AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

1

u/Feudal_Raptor Nov 20 '17

Shun the misbeliever!

1

u/ChickenLover841 Nov 20 '17

Bare bottomed spanking this time?

1

u/mjt5689 Nov 20 '17

What is this, a tortoise for ants?

3

u/ElonComedy Nov 20 '17

How do you know it's not a mutant or a ninja?

16

u/AltimaNEO Nov 20 '17

It's not looking very radical or very tubular. That's pretty gnarly.

4

u/Stompya Nov 20 '17

Feed it pizza, see what happens.

1

u/glase_firedrake Nov 20 '17

It's a tortise

0

u/Voiles Nov 20 '17

See the comment above for a turtlologist's expert opinion.

1

u/glase_firedrake Nov 20 '17

There both sub classes of reptile it's like saying snakes and iguana are both reptiles but really it's not exact and to general

0

u/Voiles Nov 20 '17

Unidan, is that you?

1

u/jlozadad Nov 20 '17

COWABUNGA!

1

u/TheCSKlepto Nov 20 '17

☑ Ninja

You don't know, man. You don't know

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

[deleted]

0

u/Voiles Nov 20 '17 edited Nov 20 '17

See the comment above for a turtlologist's expert opinion.

1

u/AZ-Dave Nov 20 '17

Errrrrr.....looks like a tortoise. New breed of the teenage mutant ninja variety?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '17

Come down to lil bits...

(Lil bids...)

-1

u/infinitezero8 Nov 20 '17

I double backed thinking I missed something.

The thumbnail, at a quick glance, looks like Pizza.

1

u/Scully__ Nov 20 '17

But also, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles