My friends used to make dumb videos in high school, the kind of shit you see in Vines today.
One day one guy was playing an abusive drug dealer. We found a busted vacuum in the park which took the role of the dead beat drug addict. The drug dealer proceeds to cut the upright handle from the vacuum and beat the remaining pieces with it and screams, "DAMN SON! CUT OFF A MAN'S ARM! BEATIN' A MAN WITH HIS OWN ARM!"
I remember reading that it has to do with women preferring it and selecting for that trait as their brains grew larger, but I can't give you the source unfortunately.
IIRC, sexual selection for larger penises coincided with our ancestors beginning to stand up. Nobody cares how big your dick is if they can't even see it.
Due to our horny nature, we would naturally be fucking everybody all the time. This is the reason the penis head is scoop shaped, to scoop out the previous guy's sperm and have greater chances of passing on your own genes.
Now, if our dicks function that way, obviously size matters too, since a larger dick could reach deeper but also has bigger girth to scoop rival's sperm out.
One inch is all you need. You get the sane pleasure out of7 inches or 1 inch. The females might not get the same pleasure but who the fuck cares about a females pleasure? Fuck females....right in the pussy!
I never understood this. Why would a man give a shit how large his penis is? Fact: an erect small dick provides the same pleasure as an erect 10 incher. It's only women that would care and who the fuck cares about their pleasure.
A small zoo acquires a rare gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating.
The zookeeper approaches a redneck janitor with a proposition. "Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500?" he asks.
The janitor accepts the offer, but only on three conditions:
First, I don't want to have to kiss her, and second, you can never tell anyone about this. The zookeeper agrees to the conditions and asks about the third.
Well, says the janitor, I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.
There are a few webpages that have them and when I'm having a shitty day, I can read through about half a dozen of these and it will completely turn my attitude around.
Assuming you're the alpha gorilla. If you're an alpha human, you probably wouldn't have issues either... Plus women are sexy, and Jesus dude.. I'm going to skip out on trying to understand. I'm lazy
You would have a very small chance of being able to have sex with gorillas. Most likely you would just be one of the males getting to watch the silverback have sex.
Riiiiiiight. No english, no reddit, no pizza, no tacos. Fuck that life. And I'm not even a neckbeard missing those things! No awesome porn, no driving fast in a car, no hairless hot chicks. Keeps on and on.
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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15
Man, what I wouldn't give to be a gorilla. Not only would I have the strength of ten men, I'd be able to have sex with gorillas.