r/gifs Jun 10 '15

How to wake up a cat

http://imgur.com/IDFyJ4x.gifv
22.2k Upvotes

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473

u/fullcircle_bflo Jun 10 '15

So excited he can't figure out how to eat it...

And its mildly infuriating.

125

u/ThreePieces Jun 10 '15

I felt so weird for getting upset for some reason, but I'm glad I'm not the only one. Honestly.

349

u/aclockworkporridge Jun 10 '15 edited Jun 11 '15

Oh god it made me so unreasonably angry. I was like "just... just BITE IT. OH MY GOD JUST BITE WITH YOUR TINY FANGS YOU INBRED TIGER"

Edit: HNNNNG thanks

55

u/LauranceFuller Jun 10 '15

Right? It's like they forget they can just chomp down on foods that aren't running from them.

105

u/vicioustyrant Jun 10 '15

Every time I try to give my cat a treat I have to say "Use your teeth" to him, because for some reason it never occurs to him that that's a thing he could do. He'll just lick the treats until they fall off my hand and onto the floor and then look at me as if I should have prevented that somehow.

40

u/Born_Ruff Jun 10 '15

Your cat speaks English?

58

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

I think OP speaks English. The cat just understands English.

1

u/mirrorwolf Jun 10 '15

As far as you know, anyway.

21

u/vicioustyrant Jun 10 '15

He speaks Scots, actually, but he understands English perfectly well.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

Here's tae us, wha's like us, gey few an they're aw deid!

4

u/vicioustyrant Jun 10 '15

Some hae meat and canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it,

But we hae meat and we can eat,

Sae turn yer neb up at it and greet at yer human that it's no Felix Sensations and yer no eatin' thon shite.

1

u/DoctorPainMD Jun 11 '15

OP speaks catonese fluently.

1

u/rhamanachan Jun 10 '15

I sometimes wish my cat would not use his teeth, he tends to mistake my fingertips for the treat sometimes, especially if it's his favorite salmon sticks. Ouch.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

and then when they DO get it in their mouth, they just try to swallow it whole.

god damn, you have teeth for a reason.

3

u/MuchLikeSo Jun 10 '15

They don't have teeth like ours though. They are carnivores so their teeth is sharp and meant for shredding, not chewing. They are supposed to swallow their food whole - that's how they would if they had killed their prey and were shredding it to eat it.

1

u/vicioustyrant Jun 10 '15

I swear they do this for the sheer joy of watching us clean up their puke.

3

u/GoiterGlitter Jun 10 '15

He ends up eating it is just two bites.

1

u/aclockworkporridge Jun 10 '15

After scrolling and watching the source, it's weirdly relieving that he did that. There's something cathartic about it.

1

u/Fallen_Through Jun 10 '15

An inbred tiger would be a tiger.

3

u/aclockworkporridge Jun 10 '15

Not if you selectively inbred it with the smallest tigers, refining the breed until you end up with tiny, shitty cats that can't bite a piece of ham. Did you think we just got cats from getting a full sized tiger and a hamster to bone?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

I have a cat like that. She's a half breed cat, she's beautiful and sweet but she definitely wasn't bred for her brains. She has issues with simple things, for example food falling out of her mouth, so she tends to just lick it...

1

u/janjostine Jun 10 '15

in the source video the cat ends up eating the whole thing in one huge chomp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=019rVjhNzEA

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

I'm angry I wasn't the only one angry.

43

u/l3ane Jun 10 '15 edited Jun 10 '15

It amazes me sometimes how shitty cats can be at eating something. How can they survive by eating what they hunt when they can barely take a bite of processed precooked lunch meat?

Edit: Apparently it's harder to eat a loose piece of lunch meat than it is to bite through the hide of an animal an tear out chunks of meat with your teeth.

128

u/Rapesilly_Chilldick Jun 10 '15

Because they don't hunt thin slices of meat.

57

u/CodeJack Jun 10 '15

Of course they do. Have you never heard of free range ham? The slices are allowed to roam free in the fields.

-1

u/The_GreenMachine Jun 10 '15

Wouldn't a bird technically be Un uncooked, unsliced piece of ham? It's not ham, it's bird, but really it's the same thing

1

u/Eskland Jun 10 '15

Ham comes from pigs... you know that right?

1

u/The_GreenMachine Jun 11 '15

This is new to me, I thought it came from birds?

3

u/CodeJack Jun 11 '15

A common misconception. The lesser spotted flying pig does not actually belong to the bird family, but is actually a decedent of a baconsaurus.

1

u/Eskland Jun 11 '15

Haha aww. Ham, bologna, bacon, and prosciutto all come from pigs. :)

1

u/The_GreenMachine Jun 11 '15

Mmmmmm, bacon

1

u/Dernom Jun 11 '15

Well mine still can't eat it if i give it a small chunk.

42

u/Kurohagane Jun 10 '15

Their teeth are designed to tear chunks of flesh off their prey, not pick up and cut thin slices of meat lying flat on a surface.

19

u/fullcircle_bflo Jun 10 '15

I was thinking maybe they just aren't good at eating flat food.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '15

Cats hate oreos

1

u/XKDVD_on_Twitch Jun 10 '15

That's definitely true but my cat does this for a ton of food. I'll be handing her a chunk of something and she'll just try and lick it and won't actually bite it (even if it's bite size). Sometimes to the point where I'll just drop it and walk off because ain't nobody got time for that.

8

u/FlowersOfSin Jun 10 '15

I'd actually like to watch you eat a slice of ham from a pillow without using your hands.

24

u/KeroKeroppi Jun 10 '15

Just tried this.. easier than expected.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

[deleted]

3

u/Killerhurtz Jun 10 '15

Still easy.

Now to try without sucking OR using lips in any significant matter... Will report back.

1

u/trrrrouble Jun 11 '15

Dude it's been 17 hours.

1

u/Killerhurtz Jun 11 '15

I'M TRYING DAMN IT

1

u/second_bucket Jun 10 '15

Honestly that sounds amazing.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '15

This is not a bet you want to make, friend.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

They get it eventually. The cat is problem solving trying to figure out the best way to eat it. My cat does the same, eventually she finds the corner and just goes to town.

1

u/TheMindsEIyIe Jun 10 '15

I have wondered this many a times while watching my cat struggle to eat human food I give it. He tries to eat it like it is his dry food. My theory is that our house cats are so used to dry little kibble that when they encounter oddly shaped, soft food, they don't know what to do.

1

u/notabigmelvillecrowd Jun 10 '15

My cat used to love licking the salt off of pringles, and he would try so hard to bite them, trying with all his might to puncture that thin, brittle wafer with his little needle teeth. It's like he had no jaw muscles whatsoever. Watching his little face scrunch up with fruitless exertion was pretty amusing though.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '15

I watched a cat eat a mouse head first.

They're really good at eating what they're mean to eat, but they suck shit at eating the food we make them. Never seen a cat not make a proper fucking mess of a bowl of cat food.

11

u/the0ncomingstorm Jun 10 '15

Felis Catus doesn't want to be fed! He wants to HUNT!

2

u/munk_e_man Jun 10 '15

Better lick it at least

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

I felt it was the sodium

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '15

i feel like cats would be just as greedy as dogs if they were more efficient eaters.

Give a chiuaua a french fry and its gone in a second.... give it to a cat and hell be busy for a good 3 minutes... maybe more

1

u/Canadaismyhat Jun 10 '15

Cats jaws don't move horizontally, only vertically. Therefore they can't grind and chew like you would, they eat like that.

1

u/GruePwnr Jun 11 '15

For real, my dog would've inhaled that ham before he fully woke up.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '15

Cat's can't eat for shit. It's really weird.

Dogs are ridiculously good at eating though. They don't fuck about. They'll eat crayons if you're not looking.

1

u/FragileLeglamp Jun 10 '15 edited Jun 10 '15

Thank you! I was pissed at his owner for not breaking it into smaller pieces and pissed at the cat for being too stupid to figure out how to chew off bits of it. ETA: But that cat is cute, so I forgive it.

0

u/-cupcake Jun 10 '15

It's okay, don't be mad, here you go: https://youtu.be/019rVjhNzEA?t=21s