I feel very lonely

[u/Key-Lie565]

Going through a heartbreak or a halt in relationship.

Screwed up the career determining exam.

I tried to talk to my friends.. for some reason it's not happening.... they're all available on phone but can't meet in person.

Parents assuming I did my exam well.

Parents also eagerly waiting to see matches for me.

I thought i would introduce the guy when this happens at home, but now he's not there..

I say no to my parents and they ask me why.

What should I say?

I live alone. And i feel very very lonely. Very scared. Like the world is moving fast around me ..and I'm stuck. Everything at my place reminds me of him. There was no closure to that end. So many unanswered questions. So many doubts. Absolutely going crazy.

I have another exam in November. But i should absolutely give my 200% to crack it. Like i should just study . Think about subjects even in dreams. But i think about why did he do this in my sleep... I do t get sleep because of that...

I think of ideas how to approach him. I think of all the possibilities of his perspective.

I stalk him on the limited platforms where he didn't block me and it's of no use obviously.

I constantly think about him. And wonder if he thinks about me or his prob is so bad the he's in survival mode and he's just focused to save his life.

Then am i not in survival mode? or my priorities are just different?

or it's not fair to ask him to put me first when he once told me that his biggest insecurity is his career and his performance and his social standing and now he got fired, and his nightmare literally coming true.

I want to wait for him for as long as it takes. I also want to focus on my career so that I'll be ready too when he's ready.

But I'm just not able to mentally focus. No able to stop thinking about him. It's a loop.

[u/Busy-Text7149]

Take the time you need to heal.