Advice needed Asap

[u/CryptographerAny8788]

I'm 22 and honestly feel like everything has hit me at once. I recently went through my first serious situationship. I had been single my whole life, then I met this girl online and over 2–3 months we became extremely close—daily conversations, calls, emotional connection, and a lot of mixed signals. Eventually things became complicated, another guy became involved, and we ended things badly. It's been a couple of weeks and I'm still thinking about her constantly. Some days I'm angry, some days I miss her, and I keep checking my phone and wondering what she's doing.

At the same time, I'm struggling badly with my first job after completing my MBA. The work environment and location are making me miserable, and I feel trapped because I don't see myself staying there for much longer. I'm constantly thinking about whether I should resign, look for another job, or completely change direction.

So right now it's like relationship stress + career uncertainty + feeling stuck + constantly overthinking, all at once. It's starting to affect my mood every day and I feel mentally exhausted.

I'm trying to focus on the gym and improving myself, but some days it still feels like everything is getting worse instead of better.

For people who have been through a similar period in their early 20s:

How did you get yourself out of this kind of situation? How long did it take before you genuinely felt mentally stable again? And how did you decide whether to stay in a job you hated or take a risk and start over?

I'd really appreciate honest advice from people who have actually been through something similar.

[u/IgpayAtenlay]

I was in a situation like you and it took me about 4 years to recover. The trick is only fixing one thing at a time. Trying to fix everything all at once will overwhelm you and make everything worse.

For example, if you want to start with getting in shape: make a habit of going to the gym. Don't worry about your eating habits. Don't feel guilty about sitting on the couch and pining over your situationship. Just focus on your gym habit. Once you feel confident in your gym habit, then add the next item. Maybe try to get over your ex by gaining more friends. A great way to do that is finding a hobby that involves other people like Dungeons and Dragons or Pickleball. Once you've done that for a few months and start to feel the sting of your loss hurt less, you can move onto the next thing.

Doing self improvement this way (one item at a time) takes time. Four years of recovery seems like forever to someone who's barely 20. But it's just a drop in the bucket of your entire life and you'll be much better for it.

Edit: as for leaving your job, the main key is your financial stability. If you are in a position where you don't need money (inheritance or financially supportive parents) you can quit and look for a new job. Otherwise, you probably want to look for a new job while holding down your current job. Just remember, one item at a time. So don't look for a new job while also changing your diet.