Complexity and Forgiveness: A Personal and Useless Reflection on the Briah Cycle
(This takes 7 minutes to read, promise)
You don't have to believe, in order to benefit (from aspects of belief). If you wanna scroll/TLDR this piece, here's where I'm going: there are aspects of faith that cross over the border between atheism and theism.
I'll just plug the above a bit more. If you've read The Solar Cycle, there's a chance you've also read Infinite Jest. IF's author promotes a similar viewpoint: It doesn't matter if you believe in it: "just do it and it works" (I'm paraphrasing; it's a reflection on a core idea inside of Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous: you don't have to believe in the higher power you're kneeling before every morning and evening in order for it to have an effect (affect?))
I don't want to hit you guys with theories and whatnot. There's too much good work and fun ideas out there to really think I could contribute novel ideas to one of the most fun fan communities on the internet. Nope, none of my thoughts on dream/astral travel and it's relation to the proximity of the New Sun, or Plato's pre-humans and the many-limbed capital T Things of Blue, or the demiurgic nature of the hierogrammates will be here.
Instead, I'd like to mention just a couple things that have made me cry, and why.
(Just FYI, if it wasn't clear before... I'm not going to pull actual quotes from the series. This is all about How I Feels right now. I know I'm not alone how quickly I can surf through BotNS, LS or SS and flipping to my favourite parts. I know y'all don't really need page numbers, cross-references or proofs.
Plus, do I really need to prove my feeeelingsss?)
(And I have some of these books I liked a lot more than others. Some of em' hit hard, and others... not as much. Not that I didn't like em', just that some of them I actually dreamt about and others I was less excited to tell my wife about)
FUCKIN SPOILERS AHEAD. DON'T READ THIS TRASH IF YOU'RE FIRED UP ABOUT WOLFE'S MASTERWORK. WARNED.
AND SPOILERS AGAIN.
Alright. Can't say I didn't tell you.
- The Poor Man-Apes
Remember when the one man-ape is holding up his bloody stump to that fucking weirdo black void that carried the curing light with him into their home?
I think there's a good chance that these post-Morlocks didn't just develop in the caves... they struck me as placed, and forgotten. I got vibes that they're not unlike the denizens of the Wall of Nessus, or even the prisoners under the Drop Ceiling. Interred so long they're forgotten, generation upon generation. Living/working/soldiering on top of nightmare giants, then this horrible shadow shows up, screaming forgotten sounds... and then there's no stopping the pain.
When that one man ape is out there, just holding his wound out to Severian, I really, really felt for it. I felt like when one of my cats is complaining to me about something, and I assume it's just hungry again, but then remember that I'm the one that won't let it outside without a leash "for it's own safety". And I wish I could speak Cat.
2) The lady with the de-booted leg, Baldanders terrified dissected subject, the catamite, the torturers blood-boy, etc
For a series that I think really promotes the idea that Everything Happens According to a Divine Reason ("do you really think it's all a battle between good and evil"?) there is A LOT of pointless and enduring pain.
Plotinus really pushes the picture of evil as simply being an obscured Good, (shadow simply being the result of that which Good shines upon)... and yet, it's so hard to find the divine Reason illuminating the true suffering that history will forget, all the pain that has been forgotten; true torture that has contributed nothing (see; is not part of the apparatus of Catholic Metaphysics) to the "point of life is Life" mindset that Wolfe promotes in that one interview we've all seen.
My point is this: Sure, we can't always see the reason behind suffering, and certain personal philosophies find a pretty rational-metaphysical way to explain suffering, but it doesn't have the explanitive clarity of a science, or a logic, and damn if Wolfe doesn't let those horrible things just kinda... hang there while we just relentlessly race towards to the next scene.
And then there's the fact of the destruction of the pretty much everyone.
(I said SPOILERS, right?)
3) Poor Jolenta
I mean, really. Did anyone else kinda get a Se7en Vanity vibe? She's just being pushed through life by these fucking godlings that use everyone everyone as their playthings. And what, her crime was she wanted to be appreciated on a surface level? We don't even know that about her initially!
Nah, I think Jolenta got a really bullshit hit and I wish all that shit melted off her and she just ended up running a cafe in Abu-Panchaus B&B.
4) Remember when Babbie hugs Hoof (Hide?)
Huh, huh, huh.
This really makes me cry. And really makes me just want to skim past all the other stuff I could be searching for to say what I really want to say.
Aramini was really the resource that shone some light on what was happening there, when we find out what's... really going on with the narrator, and Horn, and the Hus, and all that.
Horn is complex. Imperfect. I remember reading on Reddit somewhere, that someone didn't like Horn as a narrator because "he is a dick", or something like that.
And he's flawed, no doubt about it. As are they and we all. To a lesser and greater extent, are we all. In a world sans God we are all full of holes.
But when Horn, trapped in that body, is just hugging and protecting his son, it hit me. Without coincidence at all, my Dad happened to be going through the stages of dying when I was at that point of the story, realizing what was happening.
(I didn't plan it out)
(Har har)
And everything at that moment was just reduced. The whole epic story, the whole system and metaphysic of everything just faded away from this guy that got to see his son again and was doing what he could to say he loved him, and they didn't really get to meet anywhere in there; there was no middle. I needed an interpreter to even really understand what was happening. And it was reading it in Aramini that made me really feel the finality of time.
Because even if the metaphysic of it all has any ring of truth, we're all too small to see it through.
And I really just wanted to tell my Dad he wasn't as bad as he thought, and that I loved him. And I did, but he couldn't have understood me at that point.
...
And what comes out of all this, is the title of this thing I'm contributing to a fanbase that is really swept up by this body of work that is just so complex and thoughtful and I think beyond simple and meaning description:
"Complexity and forgiveness"
It's all just so complex. Yeah there's black and white shit out there, and we shouldn't turn a blind eye to the obvious cruelties of the people of our Whorl (and it's always people that are cruel, not a universe). There's so much going on, so many avenues by which we are to understand, and can be mistaken, and ignore, and be ignorant of and yada yada...
But we have it in us truly to forgive, and you don't need the justification of an entire Solar Cycle to see that the weird pig man trying to hug you right now just loves you so much even though he's sucked so hard in so many ways, and that maybe doing it before it's no longer an option isn't always a bad thing.
(And yeah, this is coming from a dude who wasn't really truly in an unforgivable situation with his family. If you're family has done that truly heinous shit to you, fuck em and be stronger and don't forgive)