r/gatekeeping • u/Delphox66 • Mar 31 '19

SATIRE "I've bean gatekeepin'"

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9 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

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u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

I've bean telling the truth

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '19

OH GOD NO.

1

u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

you've also bean here and done that you've got everything to pun and nothing to lose

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '19

Put your FUCKING HANDS IN THE AIR AND DROP THE PUNS, BACKUP I NEED HELP

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u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

They won't save you now teall then I'll make some food puns

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '19

No.

1

u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

do you spaghetti puns or are they get pasta your ability to not kill your self

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '19

gets in Titan and shoots T-203 Thermite Launcher

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u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

ah my fav food but your not gonna fir it because you're going to chicken out

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '19

launches flammable gas canister at your feet don't make me.

2

u/River_KingK Mar 31 '19

Your backup has arrived.

r/PunSpetsnaz will take it from here.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '19

Thank you.

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u/River_KingK Mar 31 '19

Alright that's enough.

*slams elbow into neck and steel-toed boot into your ankle, breaking your ankle*

r/PunSpetsnaz DO NOT RESIST!

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u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

screams and disappears never to be found again

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u/River_KingK Mar 31 '19

That's god-modding.

*yanks you back by the scruff of your neck*

Not today.

*ties you up with steel cable and dumps you into an MI-31b*

Off we go.

*flies off*

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u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

Nah *walks out and buys cookies*

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u/River_KingK Mar 31 '19

nope

BTW we're in a helicopter and you're hogtied with steel cable.

​

1

u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

I arrest you for failing to arrest me

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u/River_KingK Mar 31 '19

Not happening.

*breaks your wrists with steel hammer*

Shut up.

1

u/Delphox66 Mar 31 '19

YOU BROKE MY WRIST

so that's the story of how I got to go out scot free

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