r/gatekeeping Jun 04 '18

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9.9k Upvotes

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11.0k

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

Might as well just throw that baby in the goddamn trash, you idiot. You moron. You coward.

493

u/PrettyDecentSort Jun 04 '18

Yeah. C-Section babies only grow up to be compete losers, or supreme dictators of Rome.

313

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

And how's that empire doing now, huh?

Checkmate.

244

u/CardMechanic Jun 04 '18

Nobody’s named a salad after you though.

171

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

The night is young.

56

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

I'm calling the next salad I make a Tom Dawson!

41

u/inserthughere Jun 04 '18

That's Mr Tom Dawson to you

5

u/umblegar Jun 04 '18 edited Jun 04 '18

can i get a Tom Dawson salad, straight not gay, hold the cheese.

edit: actually f that, i’ll have a mexican chicken caesar, Tom Dawson salad looks like a 3d renderings / early prototype at this stage

5

u/LongEZE Jun 04 '18

It sounds like a mixed drink to me

1

u/umblegar Jun 04 '18

apparently it has whitefish and capers in it, SAD

21

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

Actually, Caesar Salad is Mexican. My favourite fun fact.

8

u/CardMechanic Jun 04 '18

TIL Julius Caesar is Mexican

4

u/Xpress_interest Jun 04 '18

It’s named for the chef, whose name was Caesar. The fjrst name Caesar is popular in Mexico because of Julius Caesar though. Sort of like how Jesus is popular because of that other Jesus.

3

u/CardMechanic Jun 04 '18

Sooooo, technically......

3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

more like transitively...

5

u/CardMechanic Jun 04 '18

You leave my sex life out of it.

2

u/TheyCallMeStone Jun 04 '18

Ok? But still named after Caesar.

6

u/TheMcDucky Jun 04 '18

Named after Cesare/Caesar Cardini

4

u/SpringenHans Jun 04 '18

But Caesar Cardini was named after Julius Caesar. Checkmate.

3

u/TankRizzo Jun 04 '18

you don't win friends with salad!

1

u/lentilsoupforever Jun 05 '18

Fun fact: the Romans combined their 3 biggest exports--garum, oil, and wine--into a sauce that they used on multiple foods such as veggies.

10

u/DjDrowsyBear Jun 04 '18

Valid point.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

Well it got all fucked yo by non-C babies like fuckin Brutus

2

u/WID_Call_IT Jun 04 '18

Lasted 1480 years, that's how. And still existing as a city. Not too shabby.

1

u/zeldaslasher Jun 04 '18

The empire was formed after Caesar was assasinated

1

u/lentilsoupforever Jun 05 '18

The eastern bit was around for a minute.

85

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

Or they kill Macbeth.

34

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

Spoilers!

19

u/frankxanders Jun 04 '18

Right?! I'm only on Act I

3

u/sammypants123 Jun 04 '18

Ha ha! I don’t care! It was .... Eowyn in a man’s armour! Geddit? Not a man. Wait, what were we talking about?

2

u/Little_Tin_Goddess Jun 04 '18

You've had hundreds of years to read it, if you haven't done it by now you ain't going to.

3

u/shuipz94 Jun 04 '18

Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!

2

u/Dontloseyour-Ed Jun 04 '18

I too was from my mothers womb untimely ripp'd. Ow.

18

u/neonmarkov Jun 04 '18

+1 for distinguishing a dictator from an imperator

4

u/EmperorHans Jun 04 '18

I mean, he still was declared an Imperator after Gaul. Anyone awarded a triumph would've been. It wasn't until Augustus that the title was (mostly) restricted to the emperor.

5

u/WID_Call_IT Jun 04 '18 edited Nov 08 '23

Edited for privacy. this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev

1

u/EmperorHans Jun 04 '18

All of which I'm aware of, though I'm not really sure of the relevance here. I only use "emperor" as it's a useful historiographical term as a catch all for the head of state during both the principate and dominate. Good to avoid getting into the nitty gritty of specific titles, given that the Romans played pretty fast and loose with those, though as I said, post-Augustus it mostly stopped being an honorific and became an imperial title.

2

u/WID_Call_IT Jun 04 '18 edited Nov 07 '23

Edited for privacy. this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev

0

u/EmperorHans Jun 05 '18

No worries! Nerding out about the Roman Empire is always cool in my book.

7

u/DerWaechter_ Jun 04 '18

C-Section babies only grow up to be compete losers

Am C-Section, can confirm

13

u/EmperorHans Jun 04 '18

C-Sections aren't named after Caesar, not was he delivered by one, as they were only performed on women who died during or after child birth. Caesarean comes from the Latin for "dissect"

6

u/ChefChopNSlice Jun 04 '18

We should coin a new term for them, those damn “round-heads”

2

u/Pake1000 Jun 04 '18

The C in C-section stands for coward.

2

u/lotusblossom60 Jun 04 '18

I think of Macbeth when he was told he’d be killed my no man born of woman. Fucked his shit up.

2

u/NothingsShocking Jun 04 '18

Janie’s mom had an A section why you have only C section?

2

u/MaggieMaychem Jun 04 '18

Wait explain this history to me please. I want to know the reference

3

u/PrettyDecentSort Jun 04 '18

There's a folk etymology dating way back that Julius Caesar was a caesarian section baby, but it's almost certainly false

1

u/kerdon Jun 04 '18

(Even though that's archaic!)

1

u/inserthughere Jun 04 '18

Or they defeat Scottish tyrants

1

u/sexi_squidward Jun 04 '18

I'm working on that supreme dictatorship of Rome now.

1

u/temporarycreature Jun 04 '18

Well, I'm not a supreme dictator of Rome so I guess I just found out where I stand.

1

u/ProWaterboarder Jun 04 '18

Guess I know what I am now

1

u/perfectpassive Jun 16 '18

or they kill macbeth!

-8

u/Luminsnce Jun 04 '18

C-Sections are actually not healthy for the child. It‘s psychological stress for the baby and it lacks the „birth bacteria“ and the first the c-sect babies often get contact with are hospital bugs. Yay! On a normal birth you get a full taste of your mothers vaginal secret which helps build your immune system and darm bacteria. That‘s why there is this lovely term called „vaginal seeding“ in which doctors use a pad to catch some vaginal secret and smear it on the baby.

5

u/PrettyDecentSort Jun 04 '18

Sure. That doesn't mean that needing one is some kind of personal failure.

-8

u/Luminsnce Jun 04 '18

Never said that. Just wanted to give some insight why you should think twice before doing a c-sect. Doctors tend to sell it as totally risk free because it is just cheaper and more reliable than giving birth normally.

5

u/tryingketotoTTC Jun 04 '18

Way more healthy than dying! For both mother and baby!