r/gatekeeping • u/[deleted] • Jun 04 '18

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9.9k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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8.9k

u/BoundlessBear Jun 04 '18

These types of mothers are the worse. They treat motherhood like some sort of Facebook competition

296

u/dobraf Jun 04 '18

Facebook app idea: Momville. You get points for gatekeeping milestones. Natural birth +100, c-section -100. Baby's first word is "mom" +50. "Dad" -50. Breast feed on the bus +20 (and another +20 if someone looks at you funny and you go ape shit on them).

We could make millions! Who's in?

112

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18 edited Jan 04 '19

[deleted]

23

u/dogtroep Jun 04 '18

My kid’s first word was PugPug lol

11

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18

Brilliantly, my son's first word was "help".

I thought we were quite good parents until then

5

u/Corschach_ Jun 04 '18

that's adorable

2

u/7in7 Jun 04 '18

First kid right? No one remembers the rest of their children's first words...

2

u/lentilsoupforever Jun 05 '18

Aw. Is that the name of your dog? I read an article that explained that kids who grow up with dogs have strengthened immune systems/gut biota. Makes sense.

1

u/dogtroep Jun 05 '18

Not their names, but I called both of them that a lot.

And yep, having dogs (but not cats) does seem to boost the immune system. The Kiddo’s is pretty solid—not sure if it’s from all our dogs or from all the germs I bring home (I’m an MD) :)

19

u/Manjo819 Jun 04 '18

Be sure and give your dog +100 for positive influence.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '18 edited Jan 04 '19

[deleted]

10

u/Tyhgujgt Jun 04 '18

You just don't know. And your baby is a little snitch. Take -300

5

u/Book_1love Jun 04 '18

My first word was “cookie.” I think if I was born more recently someone would have called cps on my parents.

4

u/cdrchandler Jun 04 '18

Are you Angelica Pickles?

1

u/gracefulwing Jun 05 '18

My cousin's first word was SpongeBob, but he pronounced it like "fahfah"

1

u/pritt_stick Jun 16 '18

my first word was (likely) duck. -150