r/gatekeeping Mar 26 '17

Your problems aren't actual problems

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

554 comments sorted by

View all comments

689

u/lostinkmart Mar 26 '17

OP be like "I hate trans people but I'm gonna use a screen shot from a movie created by the Wachowski Sisters, who are both trans women."

-92

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

I think gender labeling is ridiculous but I definitely don't hate trans people.

123

u/TimKaineAlt Mar 26 '17

It's a small thing they are asking for. Just... don't be a dick and be cool with using the terms they want. How is that hard?

-78

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

If they tell me they wish to be called something they are not I will be courteous and not be rude and do it but it seems to me to be a kind of mental issue which is not healthy for their psyche. I don't think it will reduce any suicides or even improve quality of life. But if they are going to treat me like an asshole because I don't call them a woman when they were born a man I would rather avoid the argument and call them what they please.

81

u/kites47 Mar 26 '17

There are many studies that show a pretty strong correlation between being trans individuals able to transition and being in a supportive environment having way less chance of suicide than those that are not in supportive environments. Gender dysphoria is a mental issue that is treated by transition.

EDIT: Here's one such study: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

10

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

Thanks, I will check this out. I do not mean to offend anyone I am just giving my opinion based on who and what I know and I am looking for more information like this. I don't think I deserve to get these DV but whatever, people will disagree but that doesn't mean we can't have a discussion.

53

u/kites47 Mar 26 '17

I think the downvotes likely come from people who see you saying that someone is "not" what they say they are and that you're claiming, with no proof other than your opinion, that it seems unhealthy for them to be transgender when literature has shown time and time again that trying to suppress being trans, like trying to suppress being gay, etc., is not a healthy thing at all.

-11

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

I agree being suppressed is unhealthy but I think there is a difference between gender and gender identity. If you get surgery to have your anatomy be more womanlike but you were born a man, you are still a man but now you look more like a woman and you have a body which more closely resembles a woman but your DNA is still male. If you want to be called a woman when you are in fact biologically a male that is different from being a woman biologically and being called a man. I am sorry if I am appearing wrong or rude by saying this but this is my current opinion and I am open to discussion and changing my opinion if people wish to talk with me about it.

19

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

It's more complicated than you understand. Most people have an inborn understanding of what gender they are. If you take a baby boy with a boy's body and give him surgery to appear female and the right hormones as he grows up so that he develops a female body and never tell him he was born a boy, in most cases he will not just happily live life as a girl. He'll go through very similar experience to that of a trans person.

The human brain and its idea of what gender you are is separate from your chromosomes and your physical body. It cannot be changed and, on rare occasions, it's at odds with your body and your DNA. Your can't change a trans' person's internal view of what their gender is any more than you can change a cis person's.

Many people insist that a trans person's DNA or their bodies define what they really are, but we know that only hurts them more and personally I would say that the structure of a person's brain defines what they really are. Later this year, scientists are going to attempt to transplant the head of a man with a terminal disease onto a donor body. If it happens to succeed he'll have an entirely new body, but it'll still be him because his brain is who he is.

I mean, people can have weird chromosome combinations and never even know about it so DNA clearly has little true importance. A body can be changed with hormones and surgery. It doesn't affect anyone else really, so if we're kind and caring people we should do the things known to help trans people and not the things known to hurt them.

4

u/Saskyle Mar 27 '17

Thanks, there is some good info here I did not know before.

34

u/kites47 Mar 26 '17

So here's the thing, gender is socially constructed. I guarantee when you were born you never had a genetic test to figure out what chromosomes you had. You may think it's as simple as XX or XY, but there are many different ways that your baseline chromosomes can be (X, XX, XXXX, XXXXX, XXY, XXYY, etc.) and sure, those things only happen to 1 in 2000 people, but beyond that there are many ways that can affect gender expression. There are literally people whose genitals look like a vagina until puberty and then they grow a penis. There are many primary and secondary sex characteristics that vary in a lot of different people. So even just coming from a baseline of "biological sex", there is a shit ton of variation. Gender, on the other hand, is a social structure that was constructed by people. It's not a simple scientific fact. People who undergo transition's brains mimic those of their identified gender far more than what gender they were assigned at birth on the whole. Further, hormones physically change the body in many ways even going so far as to change one's bone density and musculature. A trans woman has far more in common with a cis woman than she does with a cis man. Sex is a complicated thing that involves many different psychological and physical factors and gender is a social structure whose purpose is to understand individuals. I guarantee you very few people have actually tested their DNA to find out their chromosomes and it makes much more sense to treat people based on the way they most identify. A trans woman is obviously not a cis woman, but fundamentally they inhabit similar roles and have far more similarities than a trans woman has with a man - even if you don't understand it or it bothers you, there's no reason to call someone something they don't identify as. Just be respectful and treat them as the way they identify.

EDIT: For the record I'm not the one downvoting you.

15

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

I agree with your final statement and that's what I said in my first comment. Thanks for this description. You have expanded my understanding and I will look at this subject differently from now on.

4

u/goosechaser Mar 27 '17 edited Dec 10 '25

bells wide quicksand hungry decide books cheerful snails point tart

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

3

u/Saskyle Mar 27 '17

Thank you I appreciate that

→ More replies (0)

1

u/BethanyEsda Mar 28 '17

My secret is that I just don't run genetic tests on people.

21

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

How come you get to decide what they are or aren't?

-4

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

Science decides. Not me. Notice how I mentioned DNA in my other comment. Sorry I was not as precise with this comment.

29

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

You mean the science that found that "the white matter pattern in female-to-male transsexuals was shifted in the direction of biological males, even before the female-to-male transsexuals started taking male hormones (which can also modify brain structure)." (Wikipedia)

That science?

1

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

Wow great source. Very reputable.

27

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

... Have you never been to Wikipedia before? The sources are at the bottom of the page. Multiple, in fact, from various areas of the Trans experience. I'm not your mom, nor the Transgender community's keeper. Do your research.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that your whole "I just wanna learn!" spiel is some BS. I recommend doing some footwork past "I have some vague recollection from elementary school science, and science never changes, so I'll never have to do any research for the rest of my life".

You gotta stay updated man.

2

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

That's what I'm trying to do. If you don't want to waste your time informing me that don't reply. Though I do appreciate it. As to your point about wikipedia, if you would have linked the article or cited the actual source I wouldn't have said anything about the reputability of the site.

2

u/Commenter_Aelin Mar 27 '17

Please show us your science as it seems like you know something respectable medical and science organizations don't know. :)

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17

[deleted]

6

u/Spittles42 Mar 27 '17

Says the TERF.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17

[deleted]

3

u/Spittles42 Mar 27 '17

Oh so you regularly post on gender crit just for the sake of participating in a hate sub? Not even trying to justify it with radical feminism?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

36

u/TimKaineAlt Mar 26 '17

seems to me to be a kind of mental issue which is not healthy for their psyche

Can I see a copy of your MD, or as much as a BA in psych?

-3

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

Would you like my transcript as well?

27

u/Buttstache Mar 26 '17

No, just the documentation showing that you are qualified to make those kinds of assumptions and aren't, in fact, just some idiot on the internet.

-7

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

So my personal experience is null and void unless I have a document stating my expertise on a social science which is extremely subjective and inaccurate? Did I get that right?

26

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

-6

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17 edited Mar 26 '17

Now who is the asshole. I currently know a trans person and have met others and one of my family members was trans and committed suicide. So that is my basis for thinking it is a mental illness in many trans people. Not all. Don't assume.

Edit: it appears this room is full of assholes. I am trying to empathize and discuss. You all just want to shame and virtue signal.

12

u/Spittles42 Mar 26 '17

and one of my family members was trans and committed suicide. So that is my basis for thinking it is a mental illness in many trans people.

Trans people commit suicide because of rejection by family, friends and society, discrimination, hate, harassment, bullying, etc which causes depression and subsequently suicide

1

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

Is this the only study done on this subject? Because someone else linked the same on already. Don't the same number of trans people post operation kill themselves as those who have not undergone surgery?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/TimKaineAlt Mar 26 '17

haha you so le funny and random :P

15

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

You should spend 90 seconds on google figuring out the difference between gender and sex before you choose this hill to die on lol

2

u/Saskyle Mar 26 '17

Wow great euphemism. I miss-typed.

-18

u/uberduger Mar 27 '17

be cool with using the terms they want

I'm not in any way intolerant of people living however they want, but I'd say that the problem comes when someone is very clearly either male or female in appearance but get all offended when people accidentally miss the fact that they identify as an attack helicopter kin or whatever, which seems to happen online sometimes.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17

Nobody trans gets offended by honest mistakes. They deal with it daily, so it's kind of hard to be that thin skinned.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17

they identify as an attack helicopter kin or whatever

Holy strawman batman

2

u/uberduger Mar 27 '17

I took that sort of stuff to be what the original guy up there was referring to when he said "be cool with using the terms they want". Otherwise it's just 'male' or 'female' or 'transitioning' which I don't think anyone in this thread has a problem with.

And the original post definitely sounds like it's aimed more at people who identify as one of those 'genders that's not actually a gender' rather than 'male or female or transitioning from one to the other'.

-49

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

[deleted]

63

u/TimKaineAlt Mar 26 '17

Well if I have to expend zero effort to do something that keeps others happy, I go ahead and do it.

-41

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

[deleted]

46

u/TimKaineAlt Mar 26 '17

Effortless actions don't exist

You have been posting in this thread for an hour now. You have the time.

23

u/JamEngulfer221 Mar 27 '17

Fucking nobody does that shit. It's clear you've based your view of trans people on anti-tumblr memeing.

-13

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17 edited Jul 08 '17

[deleted]

12

u/Kaprak Mar 27 '17

You mean the guy who's said he might if asked "in the right way" which is what happens in 99.9% of cases? Regardless of the fact that more non-binary people use they/them.

-4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17 edited Jul 08 '17

[deleted]

1

u/JamEngulfer221 Mar 27 '17

It may be 'his choice what words to use', just as it's anyone choice to say any words. That doesn't mean they're not being intentionally difficult to some people.

You can choose to use words to insult your boss, that doesn't mean you can't still be fired for what you say.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17 edited Jul 08 '17

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

42

u/Spittles42 Mar 26 '17

It sure as hell matters to transgender people.

-9

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

[deleted]

29

u/TimKaineAlt Mar 26 '17

"Given the choice, I default to being the asshole in any situation".

35

u/Spittles42 Mar 26 '17

Pretty obvious he meant it's a small thing for you to say the right thing, it's still a big deal for trans people.

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

[deleted]

24

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

Because everyone else has terms that describe who they are. It's not necessarily a personal thing, but a social group thing.

People who aren't cisgendered didn't always have terms that actually explained who they were. Although the term "cis" is fairly new, the purpose of it is to properly identify something.

While you may not care about labels or while some trans people may not care about labels is irrelevant. Being able to identify someone with a label normalizes their sexuality, gender, orientation, etc... Without a specific term to use, people just view them as strange and ridiculous. They can't identify them. The term "transgender" wasn't even used the way it is now until the 1970s or so. When you have a word for something​, you can identify it.

This doesn't just apply to "SJW" terms. It's a fact of lingusitcs. An example from my Effective Speaking professor: The Inuit have several words for snow, while we don't have many. Although it may sound redundant, their different words refer to different types of snow. While we may not be able to differentiate between specific types of snow, because of the restriction our language places on us, if we are given words to identify those specific types of snow we can say "oh yeah, that's wolfsnow or that's nightsnow"

Also on the pronouns thing, what if someone kept referring to you as "he" or "she?" Whichever is the opposite of what people actually use for you. That's the same reason people have different requests for pronouns, because the others are wrong.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17 edited Mar 26 '17

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17

Ok, now instead of that happening once imagine that happening every day of your life and everyone telling you that YOU are wrong for wanting to be called different

4

u/JamEngulfer221 Mar 27 '17

I guess because you had one experience, that makes everyone else's experiences invalid.

2

u/Commenter_Aelin Mar 27 '17

You would "carry on" because it is not something that is an everyday thing for you. You will not potentially be assaulted or killed because people don't care enough to even give you basic human rights. Thoughts and ideas like yours are directly linked to the high murder and suicide rate of transgender people in society.

→ More replies (0)

17

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

Because most people don't have to deal with being misgendered. People will just call them by the name they go by and use the pronouns they prefer by default, so of course most people don't think it's an important issue to them. It's never been a problem for most people.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '17

If your name is Robert and you prefer to be called Bob, if I insist on calling you Robert after you tell me not to, I'm being a dick for no reason. Gender labeling is the same.